I want to drive

But to where?

I want to travel

But to whom?

I want to fight

But for what?

Without a dream my wants are empty.

Without a purpose my needs are superficial.

How do I choose a path if I don't know the destination?

Am I empty in a good or bad way?

T.B. Wayne

There is something redeeming about the darkness
Most people fear it though
Is it because they are afraid of what they can't see?
Or because they are afraid of what they might see?
Life is like the darkness
Often scary
Always redeeming.

When the ground opens up
And swallows my still body whole
I don't think I will remember
The lust of the girls I have had.

When the reaper slowly knocks on my door
And I welcome him, knowing my fate
I don't think I will remember
What they thought about me.

When my skin no longer holds form
And I can't find the mind to fret about it
I don't think I will remember
The possessions I had in my home.

But as I lay there, on the cold pavement
battered and bruised, sick and weary,
I know I will remember
The tear that left your eye.
The smile that faded to a cry.
The hair that was disheveled in your face.
The wail that could stop the heart of 1,000 men.
The weary look that killed me in a way death never could.

So I murmur,
please don't cry,
mi amor,
for I have not died yet,
and although you want to be sad,
know that I'm here,
with you,
until time fades like the waves of the sea.

P.S.-
And if we should be so lucky,
To meet again,
In a new life or the next,
Know that I will embrace you
Soul to soul, Chest to chest.

Separated by two lives
Two different realities
The material world
And the world of inner peace

I have felt that moment of clarity
Where all is right in the world,
I have felt the pain of desire
The pain of one million heart breaks.

I want to be with my family
But this life is killing me,
I don't want to wake up
To this dismal reality.

I want to live a solitary life
One of much self love
With a calm and simple mind
To get me through the day.

I find it hard to be
The true and lovely me
Especially when I'm told
Who and how to be

I am torn between the paths,
These hard paths of love
One walk is very steep
And always filled with mud

The other is more uncertain,
Is it a path at all?
My fate is undecided
My destiny will soon call,

Maybe I will leave
Maybe I will stay,
I will take this journey slow
For my path ends bitterly every way.

T.B. Wayne

The sky seems so dark

The moon seems so dim

The rain falls heavy,

On my tattered skin.

My eyes grow gloomy

I’m shy like the sun

I am never warm anymore

My day has just not come.

The sky does not open

The stars do not come out to play

There is no twinkle in my eye

Like lovers who’ve met that day.

One day I thought it was over,

The next I tried to begin,

Life seemed to ignore what I wanted

And I ignored every win.

I gradually woke up,

And decided to be happy,

Not because the world allowed it

But because I wanted to be free.

Free from some idea

That the world owed me

Free from all the pain,

That stopped me from being free.

When I walked outside,

Like any other day,

The sun did not shine,

But the rain came my way,

And even in that dark sky

And in the midst of pouring rain,

I began to smile,

And I never felt the same.

T.B. Wayne

Constantly empty

A hole as big as the sea

I am always searching

For a women like thee.

My mind always wanders

And plays tricks on me

It tells me to love her

But she doesn’t make me happy;

No matter how much I smile

How much she makes me laugh

She will never fill the hole

She is but a temporary life raft.

I realized only I can fill that hole

Only I can make me be happy

No one can help me with this task

It was specifically given to me.

So I must take on this lonely journey

And battle every day

Because once I’m truly happy

The right women will come my way.

T.B. Wayne