i.
i feel you in my bones sometimes,
on those nights when the silence screams almost as loud as your lingering words,
when the portrait of you is stitched onto my aching eyelids,
thrown together in a mass of lazy brushstrokes from a dark palette.

ii.
i light cigarettes,
but i don't smoke them.
i just watch them burn out.
fade.
crumble.
like we did, endless eons ago.

iii.
it's clear to me now that,
like the land and the sky,
you and i were simply never meant to meet,
never destined to touch.

iv.
sometimes,
i can bring myself not to feel so hollow,
if i think of the better days,
when your smile wasn't a façade
and your love for me was a looming oak
in this great big forest of daft, dying weeds.

v.
but it's not worth much, anyway,
because the truth
is that your smile shines
just about as bright as the stars in the big city,
and your love for me
snaps
like a silly little twig.

vi.
in all honesty,
we never were,
we just tried to be.

vii.
you know,
i walk endless roads trying to forget you.

viii.**
it doesn't work.

(a.m.)

You told me I'd be happier if you and me didn't exist but you forgot you're my happiness

shattered glass can never truly be fixed
and what's now ash can never return to what it once was
i'll never forgive you for how you treated me
and i'll never forget what you threw away

The way you wear your favorite nirvana shirt makes me smile
I enjoy listening to you ramble in thought
There's something different in your tone
I know you are sad, but so am I
And maybe together we can find happiness
I'm not asking to be addicted to one another
I'm asking to be company
To sit and talk about the stars
To listen to Pearl Jam on repeat
To teach me video games and laugh uncontrollably at my lack of skill
I'm hoping to be the reason you smile even if it is for the shortest time period

it's 3am and i can't seem
to shake the thought of
you braiding flowers into
someone else's hair