I chose not to feel. I abandoned
all my emotion, I left love
to gather dust
and let memory sustain;
I ask myself
am I so stained?

I have searched for you in many things found parts but never the components that existed  within the whole of you.
I have searched for you in others , I have searched for you in the bottle .

I have found emptiness in my efforts broken dreams bitter ends I have found rejection that you never allowed me to see within the dream you cast over are existence .

I knew as I awoke this morning the rains symphony cast upon a tin roof would cause me only to reflect .
I remember you without effort you were my evergreen and those are the worst kind of memories for no others can live up to the delusion of what once was .

Together in those moments we lived more than in these years apart .
I remember it all in spite  of my efforts to erase every single image of you from my dreams .

How I need that delusion when the silence brings nothing but pain.

I have to say goodbye to you now for the poison of what was is killing the moments I have left .

I realize love was are curse and time will remain the burden.

We were the best of are passion nights with you spoken words though few between in a passion cast serenade .
Would remain hours over simple sentences of others.

I wonder do we stand still somewhere in time if so I do not a more beautiful portrait ever could be painted in red sunsets and a oceans farewell.

The hardest thing I have ever done is closed my thoughts to you.

Goodnight sweetheart .

Maybe somewhere in time  we will wake together anew .

I need incentive to write
To think
To imagine
Living a happy life
I need a heart
A replacement
To the misery
You planted with your knife
I need my time
To be back
Without struggles
When we fight
I need air
To breath
To feel my lungs
Exhaling you out
I need light
To see
To spot you
Leaving my sight
I need ears
To hear
To despise
The lies you weaved so tight
I need my mind
To forget
The promises you say
Then **** over night
I need incentive to write
To warn others
To tell innocents
How all this was never right

standing on the edge
waiting to fall
tears don't speak of the ill
they don't whisper at all
in silence i break my part
how many times
have i begged you apart
don't you hear me
when I'm screaming your name
how is it
that we're strangers again
with nothing to speak
words don't mean the same
too tired to leave
slowly falling in love with the pain
i remember when we used to
forget everything else
and since I've lost you
i'm somebody else
picking up the pieces
that no longer fit the same
holding my breath
until you leave once again
for another eternity

Love..
Such a ******* word filled
with lies and broken
promises..
This is a word for people
who believe in happy
endings, this will never truly
come to those who don't.