Making the journey
From thought to word -
Grasping at nervous jitters that
Shake my fingers like the rattle
Of an infant
And telling them as firm I can -
"STOP,"
"Don't,"
"this should be easy."
Is about as easy as mending a shattered glass whole
Speaking up.
No, no. No.
Speaking at all.
It is no less than a marathon.
And the marathon is done, eventually. I've spoken. It's fine.
(Managed a smile, too. The shaking's almost gone.)
Yet the race, it remains invisible. No trophies or medals
For this marathon.
I pray to gods I don't even know.
I wish the sweating gone
falling across my skin in waves and tumbles
It's far harder to hide when they come along
(The shaking is easily concealed.
Two smokes - nonexistent. ****.
Sorted. Done.)
But talking was never meant to be medicated
Bury this anxiety. Bury it dead and gone.
I'm finished with just getting by
The world is mine from dawn.
A big f*** you to the devil that is social anxiety