All words once used
to describe the eyes the color blue
tied together, tried and true
are still nowhere near good enough for you

Statistics say
I am smarter than 95% of the people I meet
People say
Intelligence is overrated
Statistics say
I was born into a better situation than 98% of the people I meet
People say
It's not where you start it's where you finish
Statistics say
I will live longer than 94% of the people I meet
People say
Life is fragile
Statistics say
I won't fail
People say
I might

What if aliens existed?
what if Ufo’s flew so fast that if we blinked we’d miss it?
what if we do not know of their presence
because we was
excuse me we were
not looking in the right place
what if you as well as I were an alien life?
together we would travel the galaxies
like pieties
striving for peace
with no reprieve
but what if aliens did not exist?
(maybe the better question)
The notion that we are alone on this abyss
that it’s 7 billion strong against
unimaginably long miles of what we know as just space
where human thoughts such as distance and time hold no place
but why think a thought so daunting
and instead ask
What if aliens existed?

The Emperor left his palace
with something shiny on his shoulder
it weighed as much as an apple
but was the size of a boulder
it was the greatest weapon
his workers could build
the town awaited its appearance
even though they had foot the bill

Amazing said the scholar as the emperor passed
so much power but such little weight
this right here can save a country
what you hold will educate
we will teach people
and they will listen
and if they won't
we will show them this weapon

splendid said the old lady as the emperor trotted by
I have been waiting all my life for this
we must end all wars
that is my dying wish
now we can do that
we can fight off the opposition
and make sure peace reigns
while our leaders stay in top position

I don't get it said the kid and the emperor stopped
what could you not understand about my gun?
the boy answered this world is full of idiots
and while you are surely not one
there are people out there
who would **** for that gun
let's not act like one large weapon
can change everybody under the sun
what's more likely is that it will only amplify
the issues that should be regional
we'll proclaim "Our gun is big!"
to justify that our choice is final
the bigger the gun
the more people it could ****
and the more people that can die
the more people that will

At this point I know it's over
They've told us where the plane is heading
I've always thought I'd know what to think if something like this happened
But I'm lost here
I'm not thinking about my beautiful wife
Or my daughter
My parents who will outlive me
Or my friends who are off living their lives

I keep thinking about the mailman
No really I do
How he'll have to go around tomorrow
Passing this tale of tragedy
Gracing my family with statistics
Thousands dead thousands hurt
I feel bad for that mailman
For he will never truly understand the pain he will bring

This mailman does not know my name
He does not know my wife, my daughter,
The man next to me,
My first grade teacher, my first girlfriend
He does not know my dog
He does not know my true dreams or my hopes
My ambitions, my musings, my innermost thoughts
No this mailman only knows he is passing out the paper

Delivering news to millions who do not want it

I don't believe in God
But I believe in faith

I don't believe in miracles
But I believe in hard work

I don't believe prayer works
But I believe prayer heals

I don't believe we need to give
But I believe we should

I do not believe in many things
But I believe in much more

People who want to see the Illuminati
are so eager to believe
that a third party
can determine what they achieve
So intrigued by the concept of mortality
that they perceive
that someone other than themselves
would be willing to deceive
in order to strip them of their humanity
to gain gold or power or fame
never really taking into account
that these people don't know their name
that at the end of the day
no matter what you say
one day we will all die
and all that gold and power and fame won't stay

wind blows
and then it doesn't
you can't really anticipate it
it just happens

Watch the dust dance in the wind
how it's here then gone again
dust never fully disappears
like my love for you

It was the 25th
which meant only one thing
a trip to grandpa's house
every 25th of every month
we traveled the 10 minutes
down the gravel road
to see my grandpa
and his rocking chair

man that rocking chair
sculpted from reddish brown wood
balanced perfectly
like a pedestal
I had never sat on it
just out of respect
I admired from afar
every 25th

my grandpa was always in that chair when I arrived
rocking back and forth
and forth and back
like Galileo's pendulum
rain or shine
snow or wind
when I pulled into that driveway
my Grandpa was in that chair

it fascinated me as a kid
like he was some video game character
programmed to do this mundane task
it was familiar
it was calming
but I grew older
and thought about that chair less
along with my family

but every 25th
even on a windy day like today
I'd travel down the gravel road
to see my grandpa
when I arrived the chair was rocking
back and forth
forth and back
but my Grandpa was not sitting

There were 100 people in a village  
One was a girl  
So beautiful  
She was decidedly the most beautiful among them  
The 99 others decided  
She made them feel ugly  
So she was sent away  
When all she wanted to do was stay  

There were 99 people in a village  
One was a girl  
So beautiful  
She was decidedly the most beautiful among them...

It's not that
I didn't know what I had
It's just that
I never thought I'd lose it

A plant grew in a forest
beginning as a sapling in a crowded opening
two inches tall
with no idea of what it was becoming
it rose slowly
but consistently
as others rose above it for light
it reaped the benefits of leftovers
this plant grew
not to be the tallest
not to be the prettiest
but it grew
It took in carbon dioxide
and released oxygen
it did its job
it was a good plant


eventually like most things this plant died
after being trampled by a young boy
this boy visited this forest everyday
its nature was his greatest toy
he knew the surroundings by heart
from the tallest tree to the smallest shrew
he saw all in his dreams
he knew all the plants save for a few
one of those few was our plant
although it stood tall, it was not tall enough
although it was pretty, it was not pretty enough
it died unremarkable
it was a good plant
it did its job
but it died without a trace
because it never risked to take another's place


and so the boy grew older
he left the forest for an office
in the hopes that one day
he’d be rich enough to return
so he climbed the ladder
and said all the right things
he was a good man
he did his job
until he met a girl
a girl so powerful
so unmistakably perfect
he had to rise above the others
he left his job because he hated it
he stood tall to reach the sun
he took risks not because he had to
but because he wanted to


this man died poor
he did not succeed
there was no beverly hills
no millionaire mansion down the street
this man never climbed that corporate ladder
never got lost in the rat race
never missed the birth of his son
never broke a promise to that boy
he took a risk he shouldn’t have
an unnecessary leap of faith
he looked back on his past
the trouble he left in his wake
he remembered that plant
the one he didn’t see
the reason he is who he is
the man who became a tree


take risks because you should
because one day you will die
buried under dirt
while your life has passed you by
life is too short
too precious
to be a good man
to just do your job

Hello,
I know I shouldn't have to introduce myself
for obvious reasons
but it's apparent to me
that we can so readily change who we are
in that matter of a few years
we are a completely distinct
being from what we once are

but enough about me
I'm living me and you lived it
we know about me
what are you like now?
can you even answer that
can you look at yourself in the mirror
how much do you lie
how much do you hate yourself

these aren't fair questions
i know
completely inappropriate for a job interview
i get it
you've changed
i feel the fetus that is you
nestled inside of me
waiting to come out

you are not innocent
none of us are
but you especially
you claim to be something you're not
you gleefully toe the line between good and bad
blissfully confident of your place
there is no line we both know that
but you toe it anyway

why am i so accusatory?
me?
YOU JUDGE ME
you of all people
the person I have become
YOU JUDGE ME
no
I won't have it

Monsters.
They tell us why they are interesting
"because they weren't always monsters"
*******
a caterpillar is still a butterfly
they are one in the same
just because something changed
doesn't mean you changed

I get it
you blame me for you
i get it
well what do you want
what could I do
to make you happy
to make you better
to make you.... loveable

do the right thing
most of the time
when you can
do the right thing
help people
as a matter of self respect
educate yourself
when others fail too

be fair
be strong yes
but don't forget to be fair
money doesn't matter
having enough matters sure
but you don't need a yacht
be the smartest man in the room
even when you know you're not

treat the homeless with respect
they are the ones that need it the most
respect common sense before religion
respect contentness before exhilaration
don't eat when a waiter is at the table
don't let your good idea lose to a popular one
never let someone intimidate you
unless they have a gun

love
love unconditionally
let your heart be broken
so that one day someone can help put it out together
don't settle
unless you know you should
never become a cynic
please never do that

be better than me future self
please
I will do my best to make it so
I hope one day you will read this
with a smile
knowing that you became
the person that I
doubted you could

You said there would be a next time
and in that moment I wondered if there wouldn't be
and there wasn't
is that my doing
or was it all inevitable
did there have to be a next time
that wouldn't occur
it was never going to end easily
so what if it just never ended
what if by next time
you didn't mean next week
or next year
but sometime down the road
if there's always a next time
then nothings truly over right?
It's amazing the lack of finality in it all
I just can't let it end
I'm obsessed with writing story book endings
with characters I know all to well
Happily ever after isn't an ending
it's a cop out
nothing ever ends well
that doesn't make sense
if something was so great why should it end
which leaves two possibilites
A it was never that great to begin with
or
B it hasn't truly ended yet
My heart wishes it was B
but my mind knows it's A
which *****
it does
do you think the eiffel tower was the first thing the french came up with
there must have been other suggestions right?
other options
that didn't allude to that great big beautiful tower
i'm getting drawn into the abstract
but the point stands
the eiffel tower is an iconic message
but at a time it was nothing
just an idea behind an idea
maybe nothing is what we want it to be
maybe we build our own diorama's and view life how we see fit
it would make sense
you see what you want
but if you turn around you'll see the world for what it is
not the candy coated box where you dwell
but an open room where objects lay where they lay
for no other reason than that they lay
I'll never be perfect
I know that
but I think I'll always try to perfect my world
make it better... for me of course but the nobility is just in it's own right
you're too random
you don't fit the script
so maybe you should have never read lines
in the first place

There once was a chicken
and there was once a hawk
the hawk would talk
non stop
about his ability of flight
his speed his force
he'd talk so long
the chicken would bash his head against the door

The chicken hated the hawk
hated listening to him talk
the chicken wanted to beat the hawk
so he would no longer have to hear him talk
and then the Rocky music played
as the chicken flapped his wings
up steps sliced out in the sky
till he would reach the top then dive

the chicken became very good at this
though not as good as the hawk
and when the hawk won the race
he would just continue to talk and talk
the chick was sick of it
he fled to his own getaway
feeding on solely chocolate
and liters of gatorade

The chicken consumed
until he couldn't see his toes
he stumbled out his front door
where man found him
unaware of his past
caring just for the fire and not the wood
why the Hawk is fast
and the Chicken tastes good

I want to
feel nothing for you.
I want to
soak myself in Novocain
when you pass me on the street.
I want to
not be blown away by the way
your hips shift when you walk .
I want to
delete memories of you
like they were data on a disk.
I want to
shove you so deep into a crowded backpack.
That thousands of years could pass
before I found you.
I want to
be like the neutered dog
able to **** away and away
with no consequence.
I want to
close my eyes and think of anything else
literally anything else
like dead bodies decaying
or something along those lines.
I want to
be free from your chains
and I mean that.
You don't seem to understand that
but I do.

Mean it.

Believe me.

I want to feel nothing for you.

bees can't fly
yet they still do
because they don't know
that they can't
of course this holds no relevance to me
I'm not a bee you see
i'm not saying humans can fly
i'm well aware we've tried
it just makes me wonder
about the things we never try
how the greatest musicians
turned into accountants
about what we do don't do
solely so we don't fail

if a bee were to understand
that he couldn't physically fly
he'd just buzz away
I want that

They say money is time
but technically time does not exist
so we need to make money
because time is what we make it

but money is power too
because to make money takes time
which we do not like to spend
so people who crave it quick turn to crime

but money is freedom
giving us time to do with what we wish
the power of choice
the ability to switch

but money is material you say?
simply paper?
real life is spiritual ay?
well see if a smile pays the bills

regardless of what you think
accept that money is a choice
and realize no one listens
to the man without a voice

So deface it if you will
belittle it if you want
but money is microphone
although I am no savant

I know money is money
and not much else
so treat it as such
and save yourself

If all good love poems
rest on metaphors
Then I'll write with one
that you could've searched
the world three times over for
and never found before

like the last puppy
lying on its on back
in front of a convenience store
the one that was unaccounted for

that little crease on the windshield
the one your wipers could never reach
or that annoying kid with ADD
the one your teacher could never teach
(me)

time is at once infinite and definite
life is short, yet is the longest thing we'll ever do
why must we lust for forever
when we know a dinner for two at 2 would do

Prince and Princess charming aren't walking through that door
which makes me question what we believe in happily ever after for
and I won't become a cynic
and if only a writer that could never write is deemed a critic
then i'll drop my pen
and drink all the ink in it

love is a four letter bubble
what looks to be
a meandering ascent into nothingness to those outside
but is a self sustaining world to those who inhabit it

what good is an art
if one can not master it

face it
a critic's a poet and a writer
that could never quit

There's always gonna be a hole there
volcanos look like mountains from the outside
inside there's molten lava
and there's a hole at the top
what i'm saying is that I look ok
and for now I am ok
but there will always be a hole in me
and that may be a problem eventually

Miles match a masterful
portrait portraying
thoughts and things
my mind might miss
while welcoming
some substances that substitute
the traditional thoughts
that once lined my brain

I'm heading down a long road
Where the destination is known
Where the journey is calculated
Where the grass is well kept

I'm heading down a long road  
A longer road than I've traveled before
To a place I've never been
Where hopefully there is a place for me

I'm heading down a long road
With no intention to return
To the place where I was born
Where my welcome is worn

I'm heading down a long road
Focused on what lies beyond
I take one last look behind me
Until the fork is all I see

Let's play a game
grab a glass and take a seat
let's play until you or me
can not rise to our feet
think about your lover
and where she is now
that she isn't with you
and the sweat above your brow

Did you over think?
Drink

think about your life
where you thought you'd be in 10 years
20 years ago
how you're holding back tears

Did you over think?
Drink

think about yourself
the man your parents raised
have you lived up to expectations
as your EKG plays

Did you over think?
Drink

If all good love poems
rest on metaphors
Then I'll write with one
that you could've searched
the world three times over for
and never found before

like the last puppy
lying on its on back
in front of a convenience store
the one that was unaccounted for

that little crease on the windshield
the one your wipers could never reach
or that annoying kid with ADD
the one your teacher could never teach
(me)

time is at once infinite and definite
life is short, yet is the longest thing we'll ever do
why must we lust for forever
when we know a dinner for two at 2 would do

Prince and Princess charming aren't walking through that door
which makes me question what we believe in happily ever after for
and I won't become a cynic
and if only a writer that could never write is deemed a critic
then i'll drop my pen
and drink all the ink in it

love is a four letter bubble
what looks to be
a meandering ascent into nothingness to those outside
but is a self sustaining world to those who inhabit it

what good is an art
if one can not master it

face it
a critic's a poet and a writer
that could never quit

They say home is where the heart is
so I guess this is my home
although I can’t sleep in it
I live through it
It’s been mine for forever
well not forever
or even before I can remember
there was a time before this


I had a house a real house
but it was not a home
my father wasn’t around
my mother was but her mind was not
I was alone
so I left
I was 15
with no idea of what was next


It was fun at first
it was me, my bear, and my suitcase
the first night I slept by a pier
peered across the water with no fear
when I woke I up
it was me and my suitcase
my bear was gone
along with my childhood


from that day on I’ve been walking
and searching
but searching for something
you'll never find
is the very thing
that will ruin a mind
and so with every step my heart breaks
because I’m living out of a suitcase

She left me
I never thought she would
I don't know what I did
and she wouldn't wait to tell
I went out that night
I never do
well now it's never did
it became routine
arrive at 9
drunk by 10
home by 1
escorting my visitor out by 9
you know most times
I never learned their names
I never wanted to
too personal

personally I think I'm fine
I don't think about her as often
and if I do I drink
until the thoughts subside
the pain drains away
only to refill itself
every morning I'm woken up
by the same pain I'd avoided
the night before
but over time it lessened
my mind learned it's lesson
it forgot how to love
I stabbed myself the other day
and was surprised to see I bled
the pain didn't register
as I lay another woman that isn't her to bed

I was born in Princeton University.

2. That's the closest I was to getting in.

3. As a kid I enjoying stuffing round pegs into square holes.

4. I knew it wouldn't work.

5. That comforted me.

6. I grew into jeans I didn't own.

7. So I could stop wearing other jeans I didn't own.

8. Come to think about it I use a lot of things I don't own.

9. I have two parents.

10. My mother used to be anorexic.

11. Now she wishes she was.

12. My father makes a lot of money.

13. Yet he is unsure of whether or not he is successful.

14. He does not want me to make money.

15. He believes he's done enough.

16. I am tired.

17. That's probably because I don't sleep a lot.

18. I am tired of being tired.

19. I doubt the redundancy matters to my brain.

20. I used to want to be an astronaut.

21. I only said that when I looked at the moon.

22. Now I want to work in Tv.

23. Maybe that's because I always watch.

24. I look for inspiration under every rock.

25. All I find is dirt.

It was the 25th
which meant only one thing
a trip to grandpa's house
every 25th of every month
we traveled the 10 minutes
down the gravel road
to see my grandpa
and his rocking chair

man that rocking chair
sculpted from reddish brown wood
balanced perfectly
like a pedestal
I had never sat on it
just out of respect
I admired from afar
every 25th

my grandpa was always in that chair when I arrived
rocking back and forth
and forth and back
like Galileo's pendulum
rain or shine
snow or wind
when I pulled into that driveway
my Grandpa was in that chair

it fascinated me as a kid
like he was some video game character
programmed to do this mundane task
it was familiar
it was calming
but I grew older
and thought about that chair less
along with my family

but every 25th
even on a windy day like today
I'd travel down the gravel road
to see my grandpa
when I arrived the chair was rocking
back and forth
forth and back
but my Grandpa was not sitting

One day I will be a famous poet
for now I write stillborn poems
that die after a line
so I have to delete them
my professor tells me unfinished thoughts
are just as intriguing as finished ones
but they will not make me famous
so I do not need them

One day I will be a famous poet
I will write a one thousand page poem
so long that no one will ever finish it
but they will think everyone has finished it
so one will ask
"Have you read that one thousand page poem?"
and the other will answer
"Yes I have and it was great!"
and then the two will agree
and continue to speak of its greatness
even though neither has read the poem
because if they had made it past page 193
they would have seen that the remaining pages
are just the word "famous" in different fonts
strewn across the page like dandelions
and then I will be famous

One day I will be a famous poet
I will write a poem with no words
with just a title that says "Think"
and people will read it
and they will think
and they will write their own poems
each different and precise
unique in its own way
and they will credit me when they do so
they will say "you made us think"
"you are a genius"
"A great"
and all I would have done
is write one word
a word we all say
and then I will be famous

One day I will be a famous poet
I will write a poem with no ending
And people will proceed to write their own
Because I

Why do i still care is probably too simple a question
it implies an easy answer like “her eyes” or “her smile”
but it isn’t that
it’s not love at least not yet i’m too young
so it isn’’t that
think think think
there’s been other girls
four in fact
but what did they not have?
what were they missing
what made them Roseline and not Juliet
does “it” exist? it’s possible i guess
maybe nothing tangible could account for what i’m feeling
i doubt it but it’s a possibility
So what is it?
Seriously(tension builds)
Maybe it’s because you still care
sure I only know because of the grapevine
but i’ll just assume it still counts


I refuse to believe im the Pip to your Estella
I’d like to believe I have too much pride for that
Pride pride pride
maybe that’s the answer
I messed you up pretty good the first time
but then again you did win round 2
so maybe it’s just a game
a game my mind is just set on finishing


Maybe you’re just evil
crazy i know
really crazy
lunatic crazy
but still is it that crazy a thought?
you say you love me when you don’t
you say you don’t love me when you do
you say you miss us
but somehow “I” am not included


Maybe I have simply ruined you for myself
I’ve built you up in my head
to be something you simply can not live up to
It’s hard to explain but to me at least in my mind
you are a different type of “perfect”
Flawed in all the right ways
proficient where it really matters
In my head you don’t make mistakes
In my head you choose me first so you don’t regret it later
In my head you act rationally
In my head I create fake things


So to answer my question I must decide on an answer
and i choose all of them
because that’s life
that’s what it is
you’ll meet a girl who you feel is perfect for you in every way
except for the fact that she isn’t
and it won’t make sense
and it will drive you crazy
and you’ll write some stupid poem at a late hour trying to find an answer to your question
until you realize it doesn’t matter
because you’re young and she’s young
because there are mistakes to be made
nights to be forgotten
people to meet
places to see
and all the while there is time to sit down
to really ponder and finally come to the conclusion
that You
yes You
are not the one I end up with

Maybe I don't have a One

This isn't meant to be depressing
although I agree it may come off that way
I just want to be realistic

Maybe I don't have a One

People die for no reason all the time
I don't mean to be somber
these are just facts
do think they had all fallen in love?
do you think their lives were fulfilled?

Maybe I don't have a One

We're force-fed fairytales
peddled parables of Princes and Princesses
love is just a product
no different than chocolate
or straight to DVD CDs of Dumb and Dumber
Not everybody has a bicycle

Maybe I don't have a One

Don't get me wrong
I'm as hopeless a romantic as the next guy
I'm sure people do find love
and a couple consists of two people
so they very well may make up the majority
but as obvious as it may sound to say
50 is not 100
some is not all
and everybody might not have a somebody

Maybe I don't have a One

This wasn't meant to be sad
I just feel like we're all fed a certain narrative
that may or may not be true
which is fine
I just don't think it's crazy
to admit that
perhaps
possibly

Maybe I don't have a One

I am obsessed with my own mortality
or maybe the fact that I believe I am immortal
how could I die?
how could any thought of mine be final?
it can't just end
I wake up everyday
eyes peeled wide
and comfortably rise from where I lay

sure others pass
but they are not me
they don't walk in my shoes
they don't see what I see
they aren't special
and I am because well...
because I believe I am
I just know I can tell

but maybe there's truth to what they say
the groundwork which they lay
treasure life every second
because it could end any day
it's sobering
to think you're nothing but a ticking timer
that someday it will eventually end
that whatever you have won't last forever

There are ****** people in the world. There are ****** white people. There are ****** black people. There are ****** mexican people. There are ****** asian people. There are ****** short people. There are ****** tall people. There are ****** smart people. There are ****** dumb people. There are ****** people that act nice. There are ****** people that don't care. There are people on this earth that would punch a disabled child in the face in order to hear them cry. There are people that **** because nothing great was on tv. There are people that **** for money. There are people that **** for power. There are people that would **** a woman and leave her on the side of the street for someone else to deal with. There are people that would beat a child's head in just to see what's on the inside. There are religious people that do awful things. There are non religious people that do awful things. Some people would cut off a cats' paws one by one because they liked the way the purrs changed. Some people would do it regardless of the purrs. There are people that would hack off a mans testicles just to see his face after he realizes what has happened. There are people that just want something for the mantlepiece.

To disagree is stupid. These people exist. Which is why it makes no sense to talk of peace.

When we are clearly living in Hell.

Time's weird
In the sense that
You only think about it
When you don't have enough of it

A boy and his father sat by a lake
fishing rods in the water
but no conversation in the air
the dad asked what he learned in school
the boy said nothing
as his hook remained afloat
ok the dad said
but one day ill be gone and you'll wish you had told me

That boy became a teen
concerned with bigger things
like girls and homework
and designer jeans
he had his first date
but declined to tell his dad
that's fine the dad said
but one day ill be gone and you'll wish you had told me

that boy became a man
who had a little trouble getting on his feet
he was afraid to go home
to the parents that raised him
he felt his failures were a disappointment
so he said he was fine alone
just know the dad said
one day ill be gone and you'll wish you had told me


That man landed a better job
and met the woman he loved
now he was secure
and everything was ok
He picked up the phone
and had so much to say
but it turns out that day
was one day

I like the way your words taste
not nearly copacetic daffodils
but a boisterous bouquet of
letters tied so neatly
so crisply
that I dare not close my ears
even just for a second
because a time without you in my mind
is one I'd rather leave behind

Today I told a doctor that time heals all wounds
he said no that’s aspirin
and if  you have have allergies
you’ll need epinephrine

Today I told a priest that time heals all wounds
he said no that’s God
also prayer and hope wouldn’t hurt
if I was no fraud

Today I told a psychic that time heals all wounds
he said to get a reading and I’d be fine
and he’d throw in a magic ball
for only $9.99!

Today I told myself that time heals all wounds
as I looked in the mirror staring my body down
It better I whispered
because in this pain I soon will drown

I am God
a silent watcher of the night
a flaming-winged pegasus
a steel coated honorable knight
I am the moon that pulls the tides
the sun that illuminates the earth
I am power, constantly craved
I am money and all it's worth

I am all these things
because I am me
overrate yourself
no one else will

I can hear you bellowing from a room that rests just outside of my imagination.
My skin crawls
as the wind quietly whispers
begging me to open the window
so the thoughts that once crowded my head
can slide back into bed with me

Nothing ever hurts as bad as it did the first time
each sip of the bottle is easier than the next
as I slip back into unconsciousness

I can hear the rain
hammering on my roof
relentlessly
again and again and again
wishing that maybe the next drop
will be the one that breaks the camel's back

melancholy memories make me muse
perhaps I lost a piece of me when I lost you
and if everything
God willing
must end up right
than Perhaps it makes sense
that you visited me tonight

I feel the flames
sneaking past the floorboards
devouring my oxygen
encapsulating my space
occupying my attention

When the past comes knocking on your door
remind it why
it doesn't have a place in your home

I could list the number of people that have been killed by police in the last year.
I could list the number of police that have been killed in the last year.
I could list the number of people that have died with cause in the last year.
I could list the number of people that have died without cause in the last year.
I could do all these things
but it wouldn't matter
because somewhere along the road
we lost our way.

We have battled over the meaning of life
it's freedom!
no it's money!
Power!
Happiness!
We have pursued what we set in front of us
with little regard for its effect.
We build amusement parks over graveyards.

Death is unfortunate now
of course when it isn't useful.
Police **** a man and it's symbolism.
A man kills police and it's symbolism.
A white man chides a black man and it's symbolism.
A black man chides a white man and it's symbolism.
it's lazy
it's also unfortunate.

If everything is symbolism
then nothing is.
If we cling to every moment like it's a rock on a cliff
we will fall to our death every single time.
We grasp for the bigger picture
as we fail to see the smaller one.
Everything must mean something
no moment should be lost on us.

it's lazy
it's also unfortunate

What i'm saying is that the meaning of life
is thought
pure unadulterated
back of the head against the pillow
eyes to the ceiling
hand on the heart
mind in the clouds
thought.

Thought defies population statistics
thought frees you from the numbers.
Suddenly it doesn't matter how many police died last year
or how many people they killed.
If we think we can observe the issue
or ignore it entirely.
We can do whatever we want
isn't that what life is supposed to be?

But thought requires work
we must view not only both sides to every story
but each degree of the angles in between.
It isn't easy.
It isn't simple
and that's why I think it will never correct itself.
Next year more people will die
because we won't think.

it's lazy
it's also unfortunate.