You're mysterious.
You're mysterious in the way that makes me want to open you up like a book and read your pages from start to finish but I can't because you are so high up on the shelf that I cannot reach you.
You sit up on the shelf collecting dust trying to protect yourself from the people who will rip out your pages or bend your cover.
Oh, how I wish I could climb up the shelf and take you down and have you tell me your story.
Maybe one day I'll finally be able to climb and reach out to you, but for now, you're just the book I have yet to read and you're on my list.

There are a lot if things that i absolutely hate about myself but this one is the biggest. It causes the most problems, makes me feel the most pain, and is the Bain of my existence.
I fall in love too easily
And i dont mean this little crush type thing, i mean a full blown ‘i would put my life at risk to help you’ kind of thing. I’m not falling for every woman i see, but i do fall head over heals occasionally and it *****. It is the worst thing in the world. it’s just really hard to explain. But i hate how deeply i fall for them because when it doesn’t work out or we never end up dating at all, it’s the worst feeling that I have ever felt.

I am ****
The end

I hate myself. I hate my mind. I hate my body. I hate the way I speak. I hate my emotions. I hate my physical feelings. I hate my life. I hate my writing. I hate my thoughts. I hate the disjointed voices. I hate the way I walk. I hate the way I move. I hate the wayi eat, if I do at all. I hate the things I read. I hate the taste of my own blood. I hate my cheeks. I hate my teeth. I hate my torn up fingers. I hate my scars. I hate my bruises. I hate my hair. I hate my eyes. I hate my smile. I hate my lips. I hate my nose. I hate my diseases. I hate my depression. I hate my suicide. I hate my ADHD. I hate my anxiety. I hate my rumored schizophrenia. I hate my memories. I hate that people like me. I hate that people love me. I hate that people hate me. I hate being alone, but I hate being social. I hate the things I draw. I hate the things I talk about. I hate the treatment I go to. I hate how I try to help. I hate the things I learn. I hate my pain. I hate my blindness. I hate my voice. I hate my hearing. I hate the bracelet that pinches me. I hate the nise it makes. I hate the way the metal smells. I hate the bile in my throat when I feel guilty or scared. I hate the way I bite the inside of my mouth to bake myself bleed. I hate when I scratch and don't remember. I hate the way I shake when I cry. I hate being comforted. I hate when people talk to me. I hate wanting to go on even though I can't. I hate wanting to end this. End it all.

When I see you time stops
And I can almost see the air around you glisten
As it does in movies
But then I realize that I'm staring
And it quickly becomes awkward
My eyes quickly dart away
hoping that you hadn't caught
My prolonged gaze
And as my eyes drift back my fears are confirmed
I catch your eyes focused on mine
But I quickly realize
That you were kind of staring at me as well
Perhaps it was hopeful thinking
Messing with my hope filled mind
But I quickly match your gaze
Finding myself unable to look away
And we sit there
Until I realize that time
Was still passing by
And I hadn't even said anything
So while I continued my gazing
I decided to say hi
And you returned my greeting

I feel really weird
Like homesick
For a place
That doesn't
Even exist