I never thought that I could live this long.
I never would have thought that I could stay alive.
From the brinks of death, I never would have thought of living a broken life,
And stand up to this day in my family world's full of lies.

How long has it been since I was cured?
How long has it been since they damaged my heart?
How long has it been since I continued living this kind of life?
Or how long has it been since the scars continue growing inside my heart?

If I am going to take a chance of stepping, will it be okay If I do that?
If I am going to risk the chance of moving on, will it healed my heart?
If I am going to turn a blind eye of what's happening into my life, will it be enough to erase the scars?
If I am going to take a chance of believing, will I be able find happiness of following what my heart desires?

I never would have thought of this growing up;
Of living with your stepmother, stepbrothers, and your own biological father.
I never would have thought of sticking to them for too long!
If I have all the means to live alone, it will only caused them to be puzzled with my existence.

Chances are there for my life to go on living.
Chances are there for me to have faith and go on believing.
Chances are there for me to find the happiness that my heart keeps on seeking.
But, I don't have the chance to wipe out all the scars inside my heart including painful memories even if I forgive everything.

Smiling. Like you don’t care.
Laughing like you actually like what they like.
You just want to be in a spotlight.
Saying those words like its your line,
I believe its time you stop.
I believe you should stop thinking you are on top.
Forcing yourself in...into a “perfect” you.
Keeping yourself captive.
Wanting to be in their collective.
Because you want to fit in.
“ I know how you feel.”
I said into the mirror.
Finally it is clearer.
That I don’t have to be a joker.
Anymore...that I could be myself...finally...forevermore.

You twisted your perception
To believe what you wanted to believe
Without thinking of the repercussions
Your heart would feel in time,
I wasn’t about to judge
I’m imperfect myself
Mistakes made quite frequently
Learning and stepping forward,
My gut instinct will tingle
Skin start to sweat
If I stray off the path
I’ve laid down with true intent,
Be true to yourself
In mind, body and soul,
Only then will you find
Your own trail to follow
Give in to your soul’s desire
To avoid undue sorrow..


Neil C 2017

Be you a freak
Or a geek
Transgender, gay, or bi
Let your flag fly
We are all ****** anyway
So for the rest of our days
No matter how bizarre
Let's be ****** for who we truly are