I miss my father
he isn't dead
only pretends to be
he dims the light
behind the curtains
to make it seem
as though no one is home
as though no one
is dusting the family photos
sweeping cobwebs
off the best of times
we don't talk
about the worst of times
then again
we don't talk much at all
still, he was a good teacher
I am a good student
I have learned my lesson
closed my curtains
dimmed my lights
locked my door
©KNL

I have always dreamt of running
to a place far from here
my name would not ring a bell
and my manners are not shunned or shamed

Maybe with air that freely flows
to the crevice of my opened windows
no curtains of clothes hanging
or the foul smell of smoke

Is it too much to wonder
if I succeeded years ago
If my bravery did not falter
would I be freed, or, be caged?

I just wonder if it'd bring peace
or anger and rage
these days I am just a baggage
all my words are always kept.

in the longest days of summer
the sun could be up ‘til ten o’clock
PM of course
the night begins then
the street lamps every block or two
when those come on
we’re expected home
that’s nighttime
so the sun’s going down around ten
that’s PM again
and it rises around five
AM if it matters
so there’s barely seven hours of dark
to call night and
that puts midnight
around one-thirty
AM, ya know
so while midnight is twelve
again AM, yeah
twelve AM
it’s not really midnight
well, it is
because midnight is accepted
to be twelve
AM, I know, but
I want to be clear
so if nighttime is
measured in darkness
at least where I am
and particularly
at this point in the year
twelve
AM again
just isn’t the median - how?
at least not of darkness
so midnight
the whole concept
just doesn’t make sense

no, I haven’t been writing poetry
I’m busy living

out there
walking down the streets
partying through the nights
working to make the earnings

I don’t have the time to sit down
and write

to think about life
to just exist in this world
contemplate the nothing and everything
but now that I’m writing I feel…

I feel something
I had forgotten
like I lit a spark
in the darkness
like something died
and I brought it back

I had been desperately flailing around in the water .
I forgot that if I stopped panicking I could stay afloat.
Drowning my sorrows in distractions .
I forgot what a sober life felt like .
Depression became my default.
I forgot that joy was also an option .
Suffering was normalized.
And peace was just a distant dream .
I was too busy surviving the days .
I had forgotten to just live in the moment..