there are those
who read this stumbling
bumbling
work who are truly
beautiful
compassionate
people

thanks beforehand
for understanding me
without judgement


IN SEARCH OF THE LOST CHORD

i've been searching
all my life
for the lost note

there is a chord in the
cacophonistic chaos
which is my
existence
i simply miss

my otherwise
nimble hands simply
can't bring out
the magic
the music
the majestic
harmonies which
i hear in my mind
but are not translated
to my fingers

i believe it
is due to my assertion
that i was unloved as a child

i was not a planned
pregnancy
my mother fell
on her stomach and
i was a preemie

I was not touched
as an infant due to this
i was in an incubator

i was also
severely neglected as
an older child
due to my mother's
inability to cope
with two very small children
(I was born nearly one year after my sister)

I have also been
TARGETED
for twenty years by
by the
"CHURCH" of SCIENETICS
(name has been changed)

so if I am
slightly dark and
seemingly insane in
certain respects this is why

ONLY GOD CAN HELP ME

I've already learned
not to play my music
drunk or ******

but i am still
in search of the lost chord


♡ love ♡
Catherine