You better make room at the top,
If not I'll push my way into the crowd
I'm not going to stop, not asking if I'm allowed.
They'll read my name in the paper, watch me.
I'll be the reason you spit your morning coffee.
That odd kid made a best seller,
That weird kid sold up and isn't so lame.
Unfortunately they still don't know my name.

I've been chasing a beautiful success
Long before you even had a cerebral cortex,
The problem with you is you're thinking backwards.
I'm a different sort of intellectual awesome
If you can't see that, I'll saw you in half
Starting right at the corpus callosum.
Or I'll just keeping being me
Tap the first domino and watch the rest
Scattering across the floor in a mess.

I joke about never making it there
I'm afraid I'll never get noticed
The truth is, I write everyday
Just to hope today is the day
That I wake up to minimal fame
And someday, someone will write me a letter
To tell me how something I wrote
Made their life change
But today I'll stay unnoticed

what is real
that's what i want to know
what exists
is anything of this real
and if not
what is
what if this is just a fantasy land
inside my own head
what if i'm in a coma
what if i'm somebody else
what if i am the only one that exists
what if i don't exist at all
what if there is some massive movie screen
that everybody can watch
from which everyone can see
the world through my eyes
what if i am dead
what if i have existed and lived a thousand times before this
what if this is some strange attempt to truly find peace
what if none of this is real
what if none of this is real
if i close my eyes
does the world cease to exist
and does anything truly exist
if it is possible for vision to fade and never return
perhaps the world is born when i am
perhaps it will die when i do
perhaps the world is just snippets thrown together
different perspectives
different timelines
there are explanations
the gods of science
but who is to say that that is real
who can determine what is real
is it me
is this all up to me
to all those reading
if there is anyone reading at all
i will never know you
i will never have a way to know
if anything
or anyone
truly exists
this life has the permanence
of dreams
flashes of images
thrown together
who is to say what is real
who is to say what is real
who is to say anything at all
my memories might as well be fake
so what do i do
do i do my best
to fit into this make believe world
do i let go of the universe
and play to my quiet niche
or do i let go of the present
let go of the past
let go of the future
and just be
who is to say what is real
who is to say what is real
does the world disappear when i close my eyes
does it all cease
to be
when i die
will the world die with me
is my body real
does it exist
and does the world around me exist
or is this all just hallucinations
is this anything at all
i have no way of knowing
i can see my fingers
i can feel my bangs
brushing against my face
i can smell the must
i can hear the gentle murmur
but what makes this real
what if this isn't real
what happens when it all goes away
what happens when everything goes away
what happens when i can no longer feel
what happens when my eyes don't see
what happens when everything fades
and even my thoughts go away
what is behind the veil
what is just out of sight
is there anything there at all
is it the void
is it just the void
the blackness behind my eyes
stretching out forever
is this the flashback
before i die
is my life running before my eyes
is everything draining from me
and is there truly mortality
do we truly exist at all
is there a we
or is it just me
alone
with my vivid hallucinations

it could go away so easily
it could be gone

i imagine those chambers
those water chambers
where everything is silent
and the water is the same temperature
as your body
and there is nothing
and you lay in the dark
is that dying
is that what truly exists
or is even that an illusion

is anything real
is anything real

Being far from home alters reality
You seem to dissolve away
We experience two nights and mornings
It’s hard to keep track of the days
I printed out a photo of you before I left
I don’t take it out often, I swear
It’s just so I’ll have something to hold onto
And I like to know it’s there

Poem

Blood shall flow
And tears will follow
Once all is out
You will feel hollow
Death will come soon
For you and me
Until that day
Let us be

Help!
Hold me
I am
A glass half empty
Trying to fall into a larger cup
Metaphorically speaking
I am the one looking for innocence
It'd be easier to be empty
Than to toss it all in poor judgment
Possessed by this desire
A fire rises, and I'm just a fly on the wall
An anthem of indoctrinated philosophy
Wondering where is the merit in being avenged
Hold me, before I slip across the edge
Into a glass half empty
Engulfed by saltation into my darkest dreams

i'll never lie to you