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m Dec 2018
“who birthed the seas?”

it was snowing,
but it fell upon us warm and scattered,
like ash,
like dust,

i turned my head,
and watched you speak.


“sometimes i wonder who cradled her when she was just a puddle,
who nourished her to grow this big.”

i felt as if seas could grow in me.

“stay”
i begged,
“this city is so empty,
even with all these waves at its back.

and,

and stay,
for me,
because these feet don't know the route back.”

you whispered back, eyes shut,

“i want to know this body's delicacy.
how light would it need to be to sink?”




“micka, please.”




“micka?”


“and when do we ever find the time,
that is what i truly wonder,
time to search the sea,
time to fill our empty stomachs with its insides?

everything is just so rapid,
i feel like i can't breathe.”

i krept closer, the tide rising and falling like a set of lungs.

“stay,”
i said again,
watching while your hands grazed gentle waters,
searching for depth.

you hummed,
looked over and pressed a wet palm against my face.

the sea was a silent wash of stillness beside us.
your breath was loud against my cheek,

be comfortable, darling
I’ll be here awhile.
who birthed the seas? who cradled her when she was just a puddle? who nourished her to grow this big?
Makayla Jane Dec 2018
I like the feeling of tight sports bras
To hide what little I have
And to make me feel secure

I like the feeling of tight sleeping bags wrapped around me
To hold me
And to make me feel like someone else holds me as I rest

I like the feeling of tight cozy jackets and sweaters
To soothe my soul
And to make me feel snuggly

I like the feeling of wires, ropes, and belts wrapped tightly around my throat
To cut off my circulation
And to watch my face turn a nice dark red-purple
Honest feelings.
Feel free to share revision ideas :)
Taylor Nov 2018
"If I killed myself today, the sun would still come out, the stars would still shine, so why not?"

Why is that a comfort? A warm, firm hand on my cold heart
The soft touch of a delicate embrace

But, it's supposed to be bad right?

I shouldn't but I want to
I know I can't yet I yearn still
What is wrong with me?
I find solace in strange places
The screaming of thunder storms and harsh blows of the wind
The chaos and pushing of hundreds of bodies against my own
I've learned to like the dark, the ugly, the bad

And it feels good
Why is that so bad?

But if it is so right, why does my heart scream "guilty" ?
Makayla Jane Nov 2018
I wanted to know if you'd want a letter
If I were to leave
But I told myself it wouldn't matter;
They wouldn't care

So I stared at your name
And thought about how you'll go to school
But I won't be there

How I won't just be home, sick
I'll be found dead by my mother when she goes to wake up my siblings but asks her boyfriend to open the bathroom door instead
For the door is locked, my shoes and bag are near the front door still, and there's no response

I thought about how you'd find out about my death
If the school would be told and they'd announce it
Maybe you'd stumble upon a newspaper and see my obituary
Or maybe a part of you would just know

I reminded myself of people I love
How I'm scared of what happens after I die
And the thoughts of what hell could be like
I tried to tell myself God would understand
But nobody would care about me;
I deserve to suffer like the ******* I am

I ask myself what my final words should be
But I can't think of anything original and deep to say
So all I can say is I apologize for what I've done
And I hope you forgive me, let go, and move on to have a happy life
Feel free to share revision ideas :)
Makayla Jane Nov 2018
I'm finished and I'm done
Now everyone knows
Feel free to share revision ideas :)
Makayla Jane Nov 2018
What's it matter Makayla?
You're nothing to everyone.
Feel free to share revision ideas :)
Makayla Jane Nov 2018
I should've known I can't trust anyone
For they only leave in the end
No matter how many reasons they have to stay
And memories that should keep them around
Feel free to share revisions ideas :)
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