So cold. I can't go on. I can't.
I tread well worn snow,
Retracing my steps, hoping to go back
To the time green grass littered the ground.

I can't go on. Not forwards.
Unknown. Unknown. I can't go on.
Not without my Mother.
Not in the shadow of my Father.

I must go on. A spectre
On a black horse tracks me, waiting.
Wants me to fall, scavenge me.
Take my body, pour dirt on it.

Give me strength. False or true
To take the steps that I must.
Like Moses in the desert,
I can't go on. I can't go on.

I'll go on

I have been told
"It's not who you think about at 2:00 AM
When you're lonely
It's who you think about at 2:00 PM
When you're busy"
But I think about you constantly
even when you're next to me
and I wonder how it is I got so lucky
for you to be this in love with me

well we can sit inside the sun for days
growing hungry, foaming at the mouth
like the red will gloss over our lips
cooling the flames bursting from our eyelids-
stare in silence waiting for bad dreams
hoping old ghost are familiar faces to greet
like
black plagues coughed up in disease
watching our skin disintegrate into the bone and wash out to the sea-
and i could sit and wait for the fire to spread
bursting through your blood vessels again and again
until your eyes run black,
how much longer until the end
i've waited for this moment long before it even began!

-i could watch this world crash and burn before i lift a finger
i've waited so long to watch us fall apart, watch the taste linger-

if this is the start of the end then lets end
the small talk telling us to say we're old friends
because if i could i would cut you off from all this pretend
and imagine a world where there's no more to bend!
pluck!
out!
my!
eyes!
i want to forget!
the voice comes around to let my thoughts grow sound!
if there's anyway to start, then lets begin!

-i'll wait inside your closed closet doors
hoping that when i come out, you'll be nothing more-