I can't picture my self
Telling you "I love you".
Maybe needing some help,
Showing you what I say is true.

But you know, I can't.
I don't know how.
You're everything that I want.
I hope you see it, somehow.

I just don't understand,
This hid feelings are in my hands.
It's hard to comprehend, that I can't say it.
It's so hard to pretend, that I can never let you know.

I hope you feel the same pray.
I hope I am mean this way.

Suffocating inside this monotonous routine.
Surrounded by ignorance and lack of correct communication.
Stuck behind boundaries like I am no more than sheep.
I am here voluntarily, I am here for myself.
Counting down the days until I escape for the precious few days I can ******* own space again.
Remember, I am here for myself.

*-dh

Olive branches smother and dismember
in the mud giggling in time
with the squish emanating from
my alternating huff and puff
footprints

I trudge in Winter's sweat of
schizophrenic rain
My old defence, sheepish stolidity,
got tweaked in a twist-up
tight as a candy cane
with a modest gasp
of underground success

That shadowy hush of acknowledgement
ballooned in my ear like a blow fish
amplifying the environmental inertia
that never made me happier
nor this sad

I may have been mad
walking from informed opinions
like a failed Orpheus
but defence shouted in silence
and I returned home
to the unconditional support
of a pet art

Acknowledgement's shadowy hush
tore a blister trail down my back
The ointment of Winter will soothe and
release me before billing me
with a scar and littering in the recycle bin
of who I want to be

Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared