This isn't a new story;
In fact it's quite old
I may have mentioned it before
But now this story must be told
All through my Primary years
All I had was sweat and tears
I had no friends and too many fears
I couldn't even trust my peers
I kept my secrets hidden deep;
They began to devour me
I tried to talk to somebody,
Please oh please, anybody!
I had begun to play yard games with kids
Who weren't really my friends
They used and abused me every day
Until I felt like it was the end
I blurted it out to them
"Stop this, I can't take it!
I have Aspergers, *******,
Do you know how I deal with it?"
They didn't know how I did it
They were absolutely speechless
Now I regret saying it
Till then it was only known by teachers
My simple reply
To the question I posed them
"I don't"
And a new level of bullying began
Now "******" actually meant something
"*******" was introduced
I regret ever opening my mouth
And helping these new taunts be produced!
Had to move schools because we were moving house
My first term in new uniform, new school and different people
I had hoped that moving would get me friends and less enemies
But no matter where you go, it seems, people are still evil!
I had a crush on a girl that year
And she was always taken
She swapped boyfriends so fast they called her a ****
If I'm not mistaken
I wrote her letters, I was too shy to talk
And the best bit? She wrote back
I kept her letters to this very day
But I did not know she would betray!
She showed my letters to some guys
These guys who used to tease me
I only found out through a friend
When he said he'd seen the pieces
She'd scattered them at the school pond
I found a piece hidden in the grass
It dawned on me that all her beauty
Hid a ******* *******!
She knew I went down to the pond
I ******* SAID SO, IN MY LETTERS!
She didn't feel guilty then
I thought that she was better!
That friend who told me, by the way
I made halfway through the year
He is and was an absolute legend,
Is my friend Pal Tear
Moving on to Year 8
New Year, New Me, right?
******* hell it wasn't
First term, and already in a fight!
Betrayed again by someone who
I had the trust to call a friend
Trusting others is one of my flaws
So I get stabbed again and again
Year 9 comes around
People look but do not speak
There is no reason to diss me
I'm no longer shy, submissive and weak
Instead they **** my anger
As I found out in Year 10
Thought the torture was over
That it wouldn't happen again!
Food scraps thrown at me
Names called from afar
I pretend I just don't care
But it's all a great big façade
I started to ponder
The sharpness of blades
And how easy it would be to cut myself
And try and replace the pain
For a pain I could tolerate
That in good time I would love
The blade would be my bestest friend
When I'd had enough
And so it came to be
For I got set in bad ways
These old habits die rather slowly
I've been trying, for so many days
I made a promise to a girl
A girl I loved, now all is neutral
That I would try not to cut
That a blade is, by far, more than that kind of useful
I'm still trying to stop
To this very day
But although I do it very little
I still get by with my wicked ways
...
