Padre day always felt so gray
Typically too clouded for anything uplifting to say on a personal plane
Nor much of anything for me to really celebrate

Many moving pieces, some removed before "too late"
This month wouldve marked year 8 -
Of revolutions and opportunities to be great.  I would've stayed and stumbled into ways to be brave.

Instead again I sit here and isolate

Called upon a necromancer for a family to raise.  He handed me a mirror and said, "Start here today."

I am grateful to be, and honor the planting of seeds from generations prior
But the cold washes over me alone staring at the embers of a life that was a fire.

I wouldn't say that this is all a test
Life is stress when comparing with the rest
Judge self only by your personal progress
Try not to take it personally and trust the process

When this sun sets, there wont be any regrets.  Instead whispers in the wind reminding you to keep steps to the beat in your chest

Ive had my talks with suns, moons, and planets in their orbit...in many driveways, backyards, and various porches.  Kicking it with night sky, a dark cave, with stars as my torches.  These conversations elevate and ultimately nourish.  Still, I can only fantasize about how we'd all have flourished.  One daydream at a time finding the courage to surface

Oh what a place of hope and of no pain
Perfect skies with no rain
Of endless happiness
No tears or even darkness

For nothing loved is ever lost, broken or sad
I am happy here, knowing that I made you glad
I will still remember in the lifetime we had
Doing life together, embracing both the good and bad

Though I could live and love in many past lives
Yet you were the only one I love and is truly mine
I will hold you dearly not only in our earthly life,
But also here in the afterlife

I’ll be watching you from a distance
Still loving you so relentless
Being with you in every instance
Hoping you’ll feel my love and presence

‘Til I wait for you here in paradise
Seek my shining angel light
Though I may have been taken away from you that night
God brought me home, resting by his side

rest easy sweet soul
i love you, i miss you
you will never ever be forgotten, you are one-of-a-kind
your beautiful face when you’re sleeping
your beautiful voice, singing in the car with you
your humor, and how you made me laugh so hard i cried countless times
you are my brother forever
the tony to my effy
i’m going to miss your aarbear hugs the most
your laugh and your perfect impressions/quotations of our favorite lines from our favorite shows
i will miss the way you get under my skin
so many people loved you buddy..
it’s crazy, because you thought nobody would show up to your funeral, but so many people did
maybe, hopefully, you knew deep down how loved you were
i'm so so sorry for all of my shittiness
but for as hard as we fought, we sure loved just as much and more
i know you would have hated some things about your funeral, but i hope you appreciate the ***** breaking bad and ooof maddon stickers, and tony soprano gold chain and medallion we put on you in your casket. it looked amazing on you
i’ll love meadow and see you in her, and feel close to you when i’m walking her
this wasn’t meant to happen.. i still expect to see a message or tweet or update from you when i wake up
you are forever in my heart ♥️ rip grains

chomping on crunchy bones- my frail bones
how hard is it to just be a skeleton
unbothered, just straight-up dead
under the grave, just a small feeble corpse
let me rest in peace, you deadly humans,
let me be
i can’t stand the silence let alone the laughter
of the ****** bodies with crooked souls
let me rest in peace
it’s like an inferno down below
why can’t it be just like before?
when i was just a skeleton in the grave
before they sawed my bones
before i lost my own
head
in these weeds
in these plunging depths
let me rest in peace, you foul idiots

In the morning when you're thinking
Of the chores that lay ahead,
When the shower water's freezing,
When there's numbness in your head;
And the telephone is ringing
And there's someone at the door,
And the neighbour's dog is singing
And there's toys strewn on the floor;
When the kids are all a-squabbling,
When their music is too loud;
When the car has trouble starting
And it makes a knocking sound;
When you breathe a heavy sigh
And wish this day would pass you by

When the office phone is ringing
In the middle of your Zoom,
And the coffee tastes disgusting
And your client's a buffoon;
And your secretary is waving
As she tries to catch your eye,
And she's holding the receiver
With a teardrop in her eye;
And her frantic face is straining
As she passes you the phone,
And you hear the desperation
In the voice that calls you home;
When you breathe a heavy sigh
And wish this day would pass you by

At the school gate is a circus
And you think that you're the clown,
And your feet feel far too heavy
As they scrape along the ground;
And the sirens are a-wailing
As the uniforms go by,
And you feel your nerves are failing
And you dare not catch an eye;
And the headteacher is waiting
With his head bowed to his chest,
And he beckons you to join him
And he leads you from the rest;
And you breathe a heavy sigh
And wish this day would pass you by

And his words impart a sadness
That you cannot understand,
And you're staring at your fingers
As he's holding tight your hand;
And you see a policeman crying
Huddled on the stony ground,
With his colleagues standing by him
And they never make a sound;
And you walk across the carpark
And you walk towards the spot
Where the ambulance is waiting
And your stomach's in a knot;
And you breathe a heavy sigh
And wish this day had passed you by

And the doctor grabs your shoulder
As you stand outside the room
Where your broken child is laying
In the dimness and the gloom;
And the vest they wore this morning
Is ******* up and on the bed,
And there's tubes still in their nostrils
And their sheets are stained with red;
And he's talking and he's talking
But you don't hear what he said,
Just the faintest understanding
That perhaps someone is dead;
And you breathe a heavy sigh
And wish this day had passed you by

Just this morning you were thinking
Of the chores that lay ahead,
With the shower water freezing,
And a numbness in your head;
And the telephone was ringing
There was someone at the door,
And the neighbour's dog was singing
There were toys strewn on the floor;
And the kids were all a-squabbling,
How you miss that happy sound;
And the music they were playing,
You would love to hear it loud;
And the car had trouble starting
And it made a knocking sound;

Can you breathe one heavy sigh,
And have this day just pass you by?

Beans.

Yup. The kind in a can.

Beans. They go surprisingly well with ham.

Beans. You gotta love 'em.

Beans... Now, if only I had an oven.

Beans? Yeah, you heard me right.

Beans. Heaven's only true delight.

Beans. The nearest can is at that yonder Dollar Store.

Beans. I just don't have the needed $3.74.

Beans. I don't even have a way to get there...

Beans. Now I'm in my life's greatest despair...