These China plates remind me of you
So i'm a little more cautious than normal
Because i don't want to break them
And i never want to destroy what should of never been broken
I only amend the fallen parts
And make them new
My body trembles
At the thought of you making a rash decision out of desperation
You've been throwing those words around and i get extra nervous
Because this isn't something i take lightly
It seems like i'm the only one in this imaginary small town that lends a hand
While everyone glares at us like they have a right to treat us like dirt
I want to save your life, regardless of how many people turn their back on you
I see backs all the time
People love walking away when it gets hard
I just keep going- it's what must be done
These China Plates get prettier by the year
I think it's the same for your soul
It just looks rusty because you've taken quit a few tolls
That also want extra fees
And i'm here to tell them that you already paid
Because you don't deserve any more wounds
Don't worry about me
You're the focus
The art on the China Plate
That gets unnoticed
Way too often.
But i'm the Man that takes interest in the non-perfect
And seeks to make it new again
The Misfits just lost their way
And i'm here to point the way.

Breathe.
It's only for a time.
Breathe.
Do not let the tears spill out.
Breathe.
But they laugh and laugh and *laugh and I cannot handle their hands on each other and their smiles turned away from me and the complicity they share I am so
alone
In a sea of people
I put 5 plates
On a table and I am the odd one
Out.
I stare straight at the wall.
But they laugh and laugh and laugh and do not realize we are in a different universe.


**I am the 5th plate.

Did you ever see those circus performers with the spinning plates?
Plates on poles spinning, spinning, spinning
You could never understand how they kept so many up
spinning, spinning, spinning

Just as one is about to fall
you can already hear the crash in your head
the shattering of porcelain on the ground
they spin it again and it stabilizes
just barely

A year's worth of growing
again by her side
So much time to become knowing
how I handle, how I hide
This year I wrote a poem called "Plates,"
which subtly revealed our sorry fates

A year's worth of distance and trauma.
You are unaware that I have beared
though you bear it too
We began to constantly fight.
So I wrote a poem for you called "Blue"
and it was about that night.

A year's worth of time
to let your anger unwind
yet the finger remains pointed at me

You say it's not my fault
although it may be
But I was too young to discover
*How the loss of love for a daughter
is impossible to recover

100 pounds. And Mommy wants to raise me
She takes my plate
It floats from her hand
And falls down
Three drumsticks
Splat
It was all on the floor

Her voice
And I kept looking past her head
Because my eyes couldn’t face
Rage

So, no longer could I cook
To her, I needed discipline
One rod to set me off
To the sky and push my head against the ground
The fact was I am
Fat

Every supper, she took the bread.
The flour is mute in the edges. Its texture is soft on the tongue
There were always blue dolphins in my glass.
They wish to swim within an ocean
And I set them free
Because I didn’t want my stomach to be
Empty