Waking to black silence
I witness the death of alternate selves in writhing light
Gripped at the throat
Leaving breathless bodies
With little struggle left

The world behind my eyes is so much prettier than real life
The world inside my head is filled to the brim promise
The world behind my eyes is brimming with a million, million dreams
The world inside my head is where impossible possibilities exist.

I will dive into my imaginary world today
Floating on Zaleplon and Flexeril pills
I will live inside my mind's creation and thrive
While my body is still.

The world beyond my skull is beauty and innocent words
The world within my brain is laughter and smiles and games
The world beyond my skull knows no pain or judgement
The world within my brain is free from tears and frowns, from shame.

I will immerse myself in my second reality today
And I will forget nihilism and existentialism.
Life will regain the meaning it held in my early childhood
And, with Death, they will pull me, and I will let them.

There is no greater curse and no greater gift than to be aware of Life.
There's nothing worse than knowing the pointless routine
And it'll send a thinker to the grave, thus I chose the world
Behind my eyes, beneath my skull, inside my dreams.

I've got a well I need to draw from, but there's nothing in there

I am told God will fill the well

I am told my government will

I am told hobbies will fill it

"Fill the well with your passions

and draw from those

Be mindful, prepare for the coming rain

Do good deeds"

I am told the well is too much to understand

My perspective on it too limited

I am told all of these things

and none of it changes the fact that there is nothing in that **** well.

Let's be children for a day (for a year)
And forget where the hell we came from
.
.
.
Forget where we're going.
We'll run and play and smile
And leave our nihilistic thoughts coughing in the dust.

Then we'll grow up all over again in a second
And files taxes while staring at a blank TV screen
Until we realize there's nothing more to do besides cry
Besides scream
Besides laying down and waiting for death to visit.

We'll clean the house until it's ***** and
We'll invite over a party of the entire world
And together we'll dance in a vertigo of color and light...
Until the last soul has gone home.
And we'll grow up all over again for the first time in a second.

We'll remember fear and send that country home.
We'll remember hate and send those people home.
We'll remember society and dress those people like us.
We'll remember money and haggle with that nation before we head to work.
We'll remember anger and fight and take that country's home for ourselves.

Now that we've grown up, we'll sneer at that dropout on the streets.
And that family who can't afford another bill.
And that mother without a husband.
And that husband with a husband.
And that wife with a wife.
And that child who's pursuing art.

See, now that we've grown up, we can't be seen with them.
We've grown too heavy for the clouds our heads used to live in.
Our heads are too dense for us to look up at old dreams.
But our hands are still light enough to tie a tie
And button our dress shirts.
Light enough to pay the train fare
And hand in a daily report to the boss.

I don't need a rhyme scheme to describe humanity.
There's nothing beautiful about it.
There's nothing that incites a beat.
I don't need a rhyme scheme for this.
I don't need to write a song without music
For something that never knew how to sing.

everyone's got a little to say about nothing,
nothing at all.

An explosion of motion

It is morning

The day lies open

Water runs between my claws

I pretend I am the permeable colors of glacial melt

Where I am distinctly heedful. No eyes. No hands 



I want to be invisible;

the lazy colors of gold and blue;
unable to recall any identity or reality

I can’t say why. Invisible hurts. Maybe its easier to feel the hurt of invisible but know that the struggle of existence will never be in me



I’m sick at the prospect of a cage but it’s easier than freedom

So I quietly dismantle myself during your sleep. I wait in my constraints for the machinery in your mouth to turn

That sound is my cue. The only evidence I know



Maybe I’d be good for a living hell; tied to the incessant bluster of gods with animals heads, munching holes in each others pale golden horns
But the war is at a pause for now. The cavalcade is sitting down


Is it still morning?

I sleep to shelter my head. But good sleep never really comes



The drop line reaches down my throat and hoists a voice

How condemned I feel

Condemned to action and reaction, burdened with contempt, choked by doubt, commanded to love

How can I be, if I cannot know what I am?

Why can’t I be invisible?

Some enchanted morning senility will be upon me. And when my body begins to cool, let it be

Haven't been since this hole in my chest
Tried to silence the wind with a vest
but I still hear the buzzing of those timeless gears
It still might.. no, maybe not. So I'm still filled with fear

Why am I here plagued by my buzzing ears
all but abandon is allowed, but my heart is searing with it's song
So where am I to go, some aimless throw to put off the sounds
while I'm still crushed by my bounds
it's a pointless question so now I've made up my mind to disappear

Running time overwhelming rhymes shove them in my eyes
Colors bright and dark forget my stark alignment
so I laugh until I've dried up my honest hide
It's still a wave of dead peace outside my basement

Why am I here plagued by my buzzing ears
all but abandon is allowed, but my heart is searing with it's song
So where am I to go, some aimless throw to put off the sounds
while I'm still crushed by my bounds
it's a pointless question so now I've made up my mind to disappear

Cults and jewelry are starting to dissolve.