Nung ika'y aking nakita,
pakiramdam para sayo ay wala,
Ngunit di nagtagal,
Naglaro si kupido at tadhana.

Pinana ng pana ni kupido
at binaluktot ni tadhana
landas nating dalawa

Isang araw, nakita kita sa isang tabi,
ika'y nilapitan at pinangiti,
Hnaggang isang gabi,
Puso'y di mapigilan, sinigaw sayo
Mahal kita, aking sinta!

Nung naging tayo.
Walang umangal ng kung ano,
Hanggang sa dumating ang araw na
tayo'y pinaglayo.

Hindi kinaya ang pagkukulang,
kaya winakasan,
sapagkat sandata ng kalawakan,
oras at distansiya ating kinakalaban.

Bakit kailangan ganito?
Pero anu pa bang magagawa ko?
Huli na lahat, para ipaglaban ko,
pag-ibig na binalewala ko.

Kasalanan ko,
Pagdurusang dinaranas ko.

Cold linoleum and hushed voices,
**** tests and strip searches.
Accept their help or don't make it.
Recondition to become a sheep.

Control yourself, only you can do it.
But don't find relief unless permitted.
It might be your flesh but don't scar it.
Eat these pills but don't enjoy them.

Purge what they don't preach.
Deny your soul a sense of self.
Rely on acceptance and kneel at their
     feet.
Molded into an institution's dream.

Time blurs until your release.
You don't recognize home or scent.
Remain tamed for years to come,
until their chains gratefully come
     undone.

Creature of habit and comfort
slipping back into an old phase.
Relief swells with an epiphany-
Rehabilitation has always been fiction.

I set up a place
to mourn,
like a Mother & her dead,
a deep & sacred peaceful bed,
she sleeps & she weeps,
beneath,
a vigilia soaking moon,
a flickering flame
of love snuffed out way too soon,
& boy that thing can really croon,

Death of a friendship,
& maybe romance,
gone in the wind,
we hadn't a chance,
or a last dance,
a last shooting star
came in cutting in deep
left a painful, poignant scar,
dug it down just a little bit too far,
put it on the shelf and put it in a jar,

You're shining,
& I'm the one who's endlessly whining,
because your light,
your light is ever shining so very bright,
shining, shining, shining,
a heart is ever-pining

Cuz' I sit 'neath the florescent light
that took my sweet & needed sight,
exposed to your external radiation,
composed in your internal frustration,
imposed by your nocturnal causation
& endless is the aggravation,

Wanting to glow & wanting to go,
wish that I didn't ever know,
that florescent ink, I stare & blink
Never stop to wonder & think,

Hey I'm burned, I'm blinded
you think I would be reminded,
you know I never really learned,
such star crossed lovers
never under starlit skies
& star kissed covers,
over me they hover,
hover

I got a million reasons to let you go
& ya you know,
ya know,
I should run for the hills
take some kinda pills,
lose every bit of  my will,
I should just.....

walk away,

No I should never let you leave early
or stay, but anyway,

you come,
in lucent technology,
appear on the screen,
I think hold on, this must be a dream,
your not exactly what you might seem,

I know it's my voice, so yeah it's my choice,
& in its sound I do rejoice,

but I missed,
I missed,
as I kissed that passing tear,
but I've lived to fight another year,
as it travels here no more,
no, no more,
instead she's the one,
knocking,
waiting  at your door
your door, your door,

hey knock, knock, knock,
tick tock tick tock I hear the clock,
ohhhhhh...oh, oh,
hey boy is anyone with you
tonight?

Cherie Nolan© 2016