A part of me hopes that,
when I go meet him,
the devil will also be a too-much boy.

When he kisses me,
sickly sweet,
too hot, too much spiced honey tongue,
he’ll bite my lip on the first pass
and I’ll bite back.

pour the gold of your heart over mine,
shining rivulets filling up the cracks
left by other burdens
of another time

a trade:
id offer you warmth
and the iron in my blood
to keep you strong through it all

it was with love too
                        sudden
                             too
                               new
                           too
                    shiny
that a heart
sudden heavy
felt as a curse:
something
to fear & mourn

but
acceptance
rang
through the ranks
as a war cry:

bright
and queer
and pure
and he —

who knew
      my pieces
and just
      how they
all
fit
together

— spoke:
       “ a heart is indeed a heavy burden -
          but we can surely offer you a hand. “

life is safe in your arms
shield me from myself
the thoughts can’t get through your love
your skin against mine
connection deeper than this

I’m fully physical
just a body next to yours
soaking in the warmth of love
a bed with you in it
is better than anything I’ve ever wanted

sometimes I think I don’t know what love is
that I can’t say the words
since I haven’t lived long enough
to really experience it

but then I remember how I felt
with his head in my lap
my hands idly playing with his hair
as he fell asleep

how he let me fidget with his fingers
when I have nothing to occupy my mind
and that he found it cute and not annoying

I know how love feels

I know what it is because of his blue eyes
how they look at me in the morning
after holding me all night long

it’s in the way he softly kisses me
before I walk away
even though I’ll see him in a few hours

it’s how I am amazed at
every little thing he does
that even a small smile I see daily
always makes my heart flutter

sometimes I think I don’t know what love is
but then I remember him
and how he showed me
what true love is

I promised myself never to give in
Never to be the hostage of my emotions
Never to let my knees turn to jelly
Never to lust and never to hope
Never to trust nor elope
But your fingertips are magnets
And every piece of my body that you touch
My skin follows, giving in to your warmth
Begging for more, begging for you
I'm letting you take over and control for me
Feverishly, I watch you handle my life
Piecing things together, tearing some apart
And as if you were magic
I sit back and think:
"I am so glad you have my heart".

I’m well acquainted
with the eyelashes on his cheeks
the way his mouth curls
around words with no finesse
the strength in his hands
and the furrow between his brow
when he catches me looking

I’m in awe of his smile
shy- like young flowers
in bloom for the first time
I love his caramelized eyes
a singularity of tooth-aching sugar
the first drop of the roller coaster
when his hand touches mine

I suppose I’m in love with him
why else would I be jealous
of the sun-beams on his skin
and the cool sheets on his bed
a closeness I wish I knew

the heart is located just below the sternum and i
would like you to exist in the space between them
curl into me and fall asleep to the pounding
of my heart that i feel whenever you look at me.
i think i could make you like me better if i
could make a soft bed for you inside of myself
but there’s only hardness and bone.
would you still love me after seeing that there’s
no depth to me at all? no flowers under my
nailbeds? there’s nothing poetic about the
desecration inside me. does that turn you off?
does it scare you? it scares me. it does.