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Kalliope Jun 6
I'm walking in the rain.
My hair is wet.
My clothes are drenched.
I'm not running.

I'm walking in the rain
With no umbrella,
Pulling a suitcase
Of baggage I can’t seem to get rid of.
There’s mascara all down my face.

I'm walking in the rain.
The thunder is loud.
The lightning is blinding.
The wind tries to push me fast—
But I'm walking in the rain.
I hope it washes me away
Kalliope Jun 6
To breathe but not explode,
A feeling a time bomb will never know.
Exposed without safety,
Of course I'm ******* crazy.
The panic is attacking,
A safe space I am lacking.
That's just her behavior,
Way too stubborn to accept a savior.
After the scene is said and done, there's no one left around- I'm the only one.
I write to be real
In life I'm just convenient
C May 31
Gargantuan slack-jawed
hunchbacked
creature pours itself over the seams of its dresses and kills flowers as it
drags pale soles across the eggshells
littering the ground.

We must starve it;
We must **** it;
When it looks in the mirror it cracks it.

Then heinous beast
no more shall feast
and emaciated it shall become.
A shell of a thing, a carcass in fact,
the meat falls off the bone,
but its brain is still intact.

Poor thing.
Warped thing.
You wouldn’t think she’s human,
this thing.
Like apeneck sweeney, but worse
Kalliope May 15
My hair is unruly,
I don't like my teeth.
I haven't seen my debit card
in three ******* weeks.

If I'm not early,
I'll be ******* late.
"Just be on time"—
my brain doesn't work that way.

I did three loads of laundry,
yet have four to fold.
I planned to make a salad
but the lettuce has mold.

The lettuce has mold?
The lettuce has mold.
I swear I just bought it,
I didn't think it was old.

What day is it?
Do you know the time?
I can't find my keys
but I'm thinking in rhymes.

Did you tell me the date?
I'm sorry—I forget.
I'm sure that you did.
I just haven’t remembered it yet.

A mile a minute
is how my mind goes.
Do you want to rearrange the living room?
Should we go to Lowe’s?

These boxes I found
haven’t been opened in ages.
I found an old journal
and sped through the pages.

I should throw it away
but I think I might keep it.
It’s treasured this way,
and no one learns my secrets.

I’m sorry I’m on a tangent,
did we have plans?
I’m sorry to abandon,
I live in my head man

I’ve got so much to do,
I couldn’t possibly go out.
Have you seen my bathroom?
I must clean the grout.

You can stay if you want,
in fact, I’d like that very much,
if you don’t mind my gibberish
and constant running amuck.
Is there cure to this chaos?
Am I forever lost?
Neglecting everything,
Until its covered in moss.
my thoughts jumble inside my head
i circle my seat one too many times
like a mutt in a doghouse
until it feels just right
and i finally sit
i pick up my pencil
i have to sharpen it exactly four times
before i decide its good enough for writing
as i sit in class
my mind begins conjuring
i think deep and hard
about things i might have done
but don't remember
i suppress the thoughts
ignore the compulsions
do something once
instead of multiple times
but it all just leads
the same way back again
my experience living with ocd
Em May 13
i yearn for control,
take it into my own hands.
i control the lack of food,
let only my own metal draw red.
‘why would someone do that to themselves?’
i truly don’t understand their lack of understanding,
for it is oh so simple.
there’s no choice.
when the thoughts in your head grow too loud,
they break out,
morph into a multitude of monsters.
whether it be my blade - my oldest friend - or the scale, a newer addition.

surely i have developed Stockholm syndrome,
how else do you make sense of the
comfort, peace, and familiarity
found with my monsters?
thy blade only does showcases my deterioration, it in itself is of no real harm.
that, i must tell myself.

my monsters mean well, surely.

they only mean to help.
i’m begging for the next
“u good?”,
because maybe this time,
i’ll have the courage for honestly.
maybe this time,
my thought may finally
lose.

a long shot,
i’m aware.
but a shots better than a cut any day,
so much nicer,
quicker and simpler.
what a way to go out,
stain the floor forevermore.
really it’s a question of what hue
will coat it for eternity.
royal, majestic maroon,
or busy mush
from deep within my “brain”.
miss having one of those.
once you dig the razor in too deep
you know youve crossed a line
in more ways than one

physically;
youve cut deeper than
you ever have before

and then
mentally;
you cannot go back now
Damocles Apr 30
Swimming in the thicket
Thickness of thorns tearing the fabric
Bones ache as blood curdles
It's bad magic.

There’s a chance at this,
Hunting the wishing wells for a mad Alice
White rabbits,
Time watching like a gatekeeper
Tight rope overhead tiptoeing past all seers
Never saw me coming, no.
Not when I’m silent.

Behind the veil of a smile,
Lurks a wolf’s grin
And I’m licking greedily,
Needing to feed my violence.

You’ll never know how these gears turn,
Feel the dark tides smack along the shoreline
Tripping the trip wires —
I’m snapping and you can’t see the monster lurking.
My mind should come with a warning sign.

“Danger close”
My mind should come with a warning sign
Abby Apr 30
-

i want to gag my brain

watch the waterfall of vile

knuckles scraping the throat

teeth coated in bile

sorry if that was too graphic

the image comes to me with ease

I frequently think about purging

this sickening brain disease
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