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I am aware of the voices
Aware of the choices
That led to these scars
Each one is beautiful
Each one is dark
Each one tells a story
Of how they left their mark
Some are from anger
Some are from pain
Some of these scars even have a name
I remember how they cut me
How I felt ashamed
In a moment of weakness
I’d play a little game
Sink the blade deeper
Grit me teeth through the pain
Each one of these scars
Tells a story
No two are the same
Mental illness is a real disease that affects people of all colors, races, genders, and religions . It never discriminates! if you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness or suicide please there is hope reach out to the suicide and crisis lifeline CALL OR CHAT 988 or go to 988lifeline.org
Kalliope Nov 4
A ghost or a shell
I never can tell
When I look in the mirror
And everything's weird
The smile I miss
Now a thin line so crisp
The glaze in my eyes
Since the glow died
This skin isn't mine
This body feels like a crime
I don't recognize what I see
I just want to feel like me
Holding onto the past
But wanting to be new
How long does this transition last
I'm ready to shed this shade of blue
Kalliope Oct 30
Lonely and craving the feel of touch,
The electricity from skin to skin,
The magnetic pull from eye contact,
The I love yous and I miss yous.

But it's a craving best left unfed
To be touched is to be vulnerable and the electricity shocks my brain, the I love yous and I miss yous make me feel insane,
To look at me too long is to pick apart my flaws, and at the end of the day I'm better alone after all.
I don't know what does it,
I'm ****** in the head
But when I fall in love,
I tear it apart til it's dead
Orange
dancing lady slippers
perform uncoordinated
reblooming of dormant orchids;
warm and cordial in
informal candor
but agoraphobic
from misfortune;
mourning and remorseful
over flowers wilting, mortal.

Daybreak aurora
portent of
sunlight to come,
but stuck northward,
scorching corneas
in torrid dysphoria.

Organism born
horticulturally
disproportioned
and poorly formed,
origin in morbid horror;
cerebral cortex
its own torture,
the mortician
orphaning the organs
from the corpus;
stored in morgue,
torched in crematorium,
vivisected immemorial.

Stems and tendrils incorrigible,
disorganized into
deplorable ****
of tangled discord
clumsily running its course,
corsage and bouquet
aborted in accord.

Important shortage
warrants foraging
for resources
hoarded by some
abhorrent lord;
crowning court this
monarch's consort,
sordid and immoral,
keeping score like some
sick and sadistic sport;
reinforcing order of what's normal,
stronghold cordoned to conform.

Pollinating
swarm of hornets,
buzzing orchestra
of wings in chorus
quarreling with silence,
their scorpion stings absorbed;
stabbed, pierced, and gored.

Like a tortoise
slowly inching forward, torpid,
morass forbids;
roots exploring floorboards,
divorcing into a gorge,
fingers blindly implore
contours of the walls
searching for the door.

But drawn and quartered,
blossoms' florid
and ornate frame contorted,
warping its own portrait;
assorted torment transforming
efflorrescent, metamorphic.

Dwarfing, enormous,
and soaring towards orbit,
forty story high
arboreal forest
flourishing before us;
gorgeous morning glory,
thorny laurel adorning.

Forthwith,
storming windows' glass,
bastille, and castle supports;
warring against fortress
though swordless,
never resorting to forfeit until
entire territory terraformed
into floral orchard-
fragrant and vibrant aura
rewarding victoriously.
Wrote this one a few years ago and wasnt sure if i liked it, didnt quite sit right with me. So i rearranged a couple stanzas to transition between thoughts a little better and try to improve readability (though I'm still not so sure about it lol)... but I've always loved the ending 🤷‍♂️

So while I was writing this one i learned a few things about orchids (and a couple other things) which I tried to work into the poem (or use a bit of poetic license lol), so I'll put them here for context:
–Orchids only bloom once a year then go dormant, but can be rebloomed if taken care of properly.
–Dancing Lady and Lady Slipper are two types of orchids, but there are a ton of different types, and people cross pollinate all the time (so using a bit of poetic license here lol), both of these also have an orange variety. Most orchids prefer indirect light.
–Aurora is also a synonym for dawn.
–Hornets *do* pollinate flowers as well (just not as effectively as bees because they arent fuzzy)... calling a bit of poetic license on that one as well lol.
[City Bridges (5th draft)]

Indigenous citizen
struggling to stay civilized
amidst
monolithic visages,
stone-faced and stoic witnesses;
overhead,
gargoyles grin—
hideous grimaces
guarding ever vigilant.

Inhospitable city grid
dimly lit,
rain's residual liquid
slicks
gritty asphalt
glistened,
blacktop igneous
pavement glittering–
shimmering
in rigid obsidian.

Hidden within this vision
visits
solitude, unsolicited–
loneliness exhibited,
never fitting in;
island imprisonment
as bridges begin
quivering
above stygian rivers grim,
abysmal reflections glint,
swimming in viridian.

Water's
brim risen
to vertiginous limits
I see
flitting images
of cataclysmic collision
with frigidness
obliterating to oblivion.

A dismal wish
reminded by
a grisly glimpse
of figments vivid since
residual shiver imprints
from winter's winds
whipping shins
and thinning skin;
I cringe, wither, wince,
my eyelids squint–
but I still live, so
no longer motionless
my frostbitten digits grip,
limbs never given in
to blizzard's pins
or crystalline prisms–
I walk,
despite icy splinters
and misery digging in
my ambition wins.
This one took me at least a year to write, just took me a while to form it into something more cohesive (and im still not sure its as coherent of a narrative as i was aiming for 🤷‍♂️ lol)... still not quite satisfied with the ending but for now it just is what it is i suppose.

And because i use a rhyming dictionary and usually learn words/things as a result, here are some less commonly used words (to save anyone the time having to look them up)...

Visage (vizij) - 1. the surface of an object presented to view, 2. a person's ****** expression.
Stygian (stij-ee-uhn) -  of or relating to the river Styx.
Viridian (vr·i·dee·uhn) - a blueish green color.
Vertiginous (vur·tij·i·nuhs) - causing vertigo, especially by being extremely high or steep.
Falling Awake Oct 20
Distraction after another distraction,
Chasing dopamine but it’s fleeting.
My failure to take any real action,
And patterns go again repeating…

Sitting with it would be better-
Creating space with each exhale-
But instead, I seek quick pleasure,
Can I escape from this mental jail?

With each transient gratification,
Receptors meet a chemical reward.
Producing less natural generation-
I just want my brain restored.
SerenaDuru Oct 20
My grandfather is ill,
Well he was ill when he was alive,
My aunt was ill,
Well she was ill when she was alive.

My grandfather died naturally,
My aunt took her own life,
And their decease was like relief,
So I sit here covering my face with a plastic sheet.

Shall I just end it here?
It seems that I have disease in my blood,
But would I go to heaven if this is how I go?
In the light through the sheet Jesus shook his head « no ».

So I fell back down to earth,
As Jesus motioned for me to go to hell,
If this is how I choose to go then heaven he will not approve,
He tells me I still have work to do.
Alexis K Jan 21
Because there's
Fire along my skin.
Ice shards in my lungs.
War in my head.
I've anvils for feet.
Air feels like water.
I'm drowning, unable to move.
Paralyzed in life.
"Guess I didn't sleep well again."
Words have more power than bombs. Every noun or verb I pronounce reverberates across worlds. They disperse. They coerce with like minded individuals just trying to get a grasp on what goes on earth. Pay attention. Try to listen. Your potential is worth more than I can mention. Ignore the tension. Breathe my brother breathe. What you have in this world you can't take when you leave. The love lives forever wherever I am here. I am near. Nothing to fear. I love you. That's what really matters. That's all that matters. Everything else is just chatter. Breathe my brother breathe.
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