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jessica grace Dec 2017
people come and go,
like a ticket with an
expiration date.
without warning,
they just leave.

but you,
who brought so
much joy and comfort,
⸺ through your music,
i was able to learn
how to smile again.
you, with your honey-like
voice, hooked me with
the lyrics you’ve made.
i wrapped myself
around your songs,
knowing that it is
what keeps me going.

but you,
who brought so
much joy and comfort,
couldn’t learn how to
feel the happiness you
give.
i’m sorry.
i know you tried your best.
you tried to find the light so
hard that it must have blinded you.
and thank you.
i know you gave your best,
until the very end.
you gave us music that will
comfort us in our sad days.
you gave us the inspiration,
to keep going no matter
how strong the storm gets.

you might have went without
warning, but you are treasured.
your soul is alive as we will keep
your music going. we will blast it
from the rooftops until they hear.
the love we have for you.
this one’s for you,
kim jonghyun.
my 11:11.
veritas Aug 2018
a glass chalice shattered on marble steps,
a cherub speared by his own arrow—
    do not tell me you do not hear it.

where moon boys and glossy girls live boldly,
they glow, shining and tacky like transparent saran
wrap
a rope around your neck and
stay.
for where death is present, so too is its midwife.

inhale exhale
in the dark
help guide me to the exit sign

oh! perform for the lords and ladies,
lie down under lights and washes of blushing love,
over your body
lay a rose for crows who do not sing.

but beware, when slowly will a golden shroud descend

and you will fall to your knees.
(as petals fall to the ground, so soft)
and it will part a way
(if buttery light could cleave so)
not clear but swiftly fading, slowing

illuminated faintly dimly glowing
above me reaching inhale
exhale inhale exhale inha—

thank you.

.
oh fallen child, where have you gone?
is there really balm in Gilead
or is that the mistaken hope of every saint and sinner?

it is a silent night tonight, blessed with only one star,
and i hope that it is yours.
for the world went black when you closed your eyes
and will need new seeds of light.

how did we fail you so badly?
how did we fail to see underneath, fail to
hear you screaming, telling us you felt wrong.
you spoke out for us, lifted us in our silence,
and yet, we said nary a word during yours.

it is not hard to tell someone they are loved.
to let them know that they have done well, that they have worked hard;
to lighten someone’s heart with a simple word or two.

for in this life of stop and go, the rush and sigh of a few billion souls
runs fast like rapids beneath the feet, and
it is not so hard to be
lost ,
swept up amidst a current of
mockingly pulsating restless life,
all the while being buried ,
fathoms beneath a violent sea of wrath,
a tempest held in depthless waters, a fight unresolved—  
where, under the shadows of a brooding cloud and a weeping rain,
our sorrows will wash over us.

but what good is a battle unwitnessed?
address it say its name.
stop hiding it behind plastic flowers and brittle leaves,
under rice-paper skin and honey smiles.
rip the valance off
of this drapery of deceit
and lay bare before the world the truth.

it was suicide.

he took his life.

mental health is real.
perfection is not.

reach out.
speak up.
give love.

if anyone can be saved, then
let not your death be in vain.
.


rest in paradise, jonghyun.
if you are aching, if you are drowning, know that someone, somewhere, is afloat because of you.  please, do not hesitate to seek help, we are here for you. it is not wrong to feel how you do, to be who you are. you are loved, you are worthy, you matter. reach out, for you are not alone.
Sora  Aug 2018
Every Night
Sora Aug 2018
Every night I look up to the sky
wondering if you see me
I talk with my face to space
wondering if you hear me

Every night I look at the stars
looking for the brightest one
because I know that that's you
you will always shine the brightest

Every night I ask you if you're alright
you deserve to be
because you did well
and you work hard
you deserve to know that

Every night I tell you that you're worth it
that you fought so well
and that I will never leave your side
because you're not alone

Every night I ask myself
why it still hurts so much
this aching pain inside my heart
no matter what I do
it isn't fading

Every night the tears stream down my face
while listening to your beautiful songs
Breath, Lonely, End of a Day
they all say how you really felt

Every night I feel sorry
that I couldn't erase your pain
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you
even when you screamed for help in your songs
we still didn't hear it

Every night I realise
you made me happy
you made we laugh
even though you were in pain
you still made me smile

Every night I wonder
if you're finally at peace now
no more tears, no more pain
just happiness and love

Every night I thank you
for the beautiful memories
and for the meaningful songs you left behind
I will treasure it forever

Every night I hope that you're looking down
watching over us
looking back at the beautiful memories you made here
with your members, family, friends and fans

And every night I tell you that I love you
I love you Jonghyun-ah
Ella Dec 2017
"Jonghyun, a star that shined brightly on stage for 10 years,
now a star of the sky".

I think the words are beautiful, but I don't think they're enough.
jonghyun, an amazing Korean singer committed suicide. we love you Jonghyun and we know you are free from everything you were going through.
ItxNotTrixh Mar 2018
For Him:

Why
Why do these waves of your memories
crash so harshly on my shore?
I see you smiling
Laughing
Was the pain so much to bear?
Why
Why did you leave me?
It hurts so much just looking at you
At what you once were
At what you are to me.
At what you were to yourself.
Why
Why couldn’t I save you?
You screamed until your throat tore
You cried until your tears refused to flow
You prayed for that moment of freedom
Until your last breath
So why couldn’t I see your desperation sooner?
It’s all my fault
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.
I don’t deserve this happiness
This happiness that you never felt
I can’t live with all this pain
But time heals.
One day, long after this
You will be but a fleeting memory
A remembrance of days gone by without care
One day I will stop mourning you
One day I will stop listening to your voice.
One day I will forget you.
It may take a month
A year
A decade
I will let you go
But for now, I’ll hold onto you a little longer
I’ll cry a little harder
I’ll scream a little louder
I’ll live a little fuller
I’ll do this all for you
Because
I love you.
Madison Kennedy Jun 2019
Please, notice me.
Someone, notice me.
Please, notice me!
How I writhe In agony.

Please let me rest.
Someone, give me rest.
Please, let me rest
So that I can catch my breath.

For a long time, I've silently screamed that I needed help.
My God has left me because of my unfaithfulness.
In these conditions, isn't it right to die?
To die because of my loneliness?

No, I will not give up my life.
Feelings can always change.
To run from temporary problems using death,
Would simply make me deranged.

Jonghyun, I understand you a little.
It seems like no one cares.
Everyone is busy living wonderfully!
Tending to their own affairs.

Can they be blamed, dear Jonghyun?
Who can blame them, My God?
They are not obligated to care.
I do not think their apathy is odd.

Yet, I beg for them to notice me!
Someone, please notice me.
Notice my illness first,
Lest I continue to writhe in agony.
The One who reads, please notice me.
NAME  Dec 2018
I Took Today
NAME Dec 2018
Today
is the day,
the day that
you died.

Carbon monoxide
and
Suicide
was what
they said.

I miss you,
still love you,
will remember you,
and sing
the songs
you made.

I sang,
a final good bye
to the stars
and to the sky
where you're sleeping

Thank you
for saving  me
with your
smile
music
laugh
persona
everything.

I owe you.

You did well.

Merci, Jonghyun
pluviophile Dec 2017
goodbyes are hard to say
because we never know when it is our last

your breathy voice whispers
it's last message
"final farewell"--
and before we know it
you've committed to something
that would scar us

your angelic face fade
into death forever
leaving me in bitter tears
because we never treated you right
like a human

seeing you lifeless
a crushed rose with poison
in you wilted stem
tears my heart into broken glass
tunes my words into broken blues
turns my writing into broken poetry
and all i can think about is

my sorrow
i'm speaking for everyone
when i say
i'm sorry that it's our fault
such an angel has left the earth
that you were driven to your pain
leaving us to all cry for you
knowing we would never see you

i speak for everyone when i say
sorry
we love you--

KIM JONGHYUN
december 18th is a painful day that will forever be imprinted in my heart. it was the day we had to say goodbye to our beautiful singer, Kim Jong Hyun. it marks the day that he gave himself to depression. it marks the day that all shawols come together to cry together. most importantly, it marks the day of our mistake, as shinee's world, we failed to support him, and give him enough love. all we can do is mourn. now all we can do is pass roses over kim jonghyun's memory.
death is painful

— The End —