What would happen if I disappeared?
Into nothing, out of time,
all stemming interaction ceasing

There would be the grievances,
ultimately stemming from the fear of it becoming truly personal.
Then the world would move on
With the human idea of time erasing me from existence.

The sun sets and the moon cycles
gravity pulls the earth around.
As i sit with you watching the stars,
I cannot fathom all of those who we have forgotten,
and realize i must come to terms

with the fact that i am a tick of a clock that will pass unnoticeably.  
But if that tick did not happen,
then we could not continue:
stuck in a moment when i did not exist.

who knows how many universe there is
who knows how many creature exists
in this  place where science and faith rules
i am just an insignificant matter who doesn’t truly matters

Big men
always seem
to only
talk about
small things.

Take comfort in our insignificance
For we are composed of cells and atoms
These false gods and beliefs are meaningless
Oh look Death is coming
Embrace him for you are nothing smaller than a dot

I am of no use, is what it tells me.
That I have nothing special, and that
I am nothing compared to those around
me is the truest lie I was ever told.
It allows me to be soluble
in the lives and achievements of  others.
The individual pieces of me dissolve
into insignificant, infinitesimal specks
that serve no purpose, and amount to nothing.
Anything I do - any talents I have - will be surmounted by those
who are more than I could ever wish to be.
Alone I am whole, where the love I keep under my
sheets and between my arms tells me
she values me.
But out there - out there in the world
I am of no importance and
infinite expendability.

So I woke up feeling crushed and sad, my anxiety and my depression were screaming. My intrusive thoughts woke before I did.
So I fight back with hope.
Science and hope until my negativity feels so small in a universe so vast.
So small against the wonder of the universe, how small my hurt is amongst the vast light of countless suns. How insignificant in comparison to the depths of the oceans and the power of storms and solar flares. I am small, so is my hurt, I am strong enough to shoulder and carry it long enough to feel the wonder overtake me.