I am completely fascinated by humans:
their behavior
their emotions
their desires
their needs
or at least what they believe to be their needs

So fragile and vulnerable
filled with doubt
weighed down by insecurities
finding joy in the unexpected
always surprised by their own accomplishments
struggling with experiences they thought would be easier
but miraculously solving problems
finding ways to get by
making it through another day

My nights are often filled with lucid dreams
where the whole of humanity is contained within a zoo
They are the rare and exotic creatures I came to admire
...but I feel like a human impostor
A sense of paranoia begins to seep in
like the ominous heaviness you feel before a dream becomes a nightmare
I feel as if they've always known I am not one of them
They've known since the day I was born
They've just been playing along
until someday when my suspicions of self will be confirmed

Maybe that's what death is - the big reveal
Maybe this is how every human feels
Maybe I am human after all
I hope I am

I had lost sight of myself,
probably more than a little,
and now I'm having to fight
to get myself back again.

It's not easy finding out
which aspects are extraneous,
and it's a terribly sad process,
cutting out parts of yourself.

But the process is necessary
to pare it down to the
true individual within.

So it's been a mad method
of drunken nights and
evenings brimming with tears
that have propelled me along.

But with each drop
of alcohol down my throat
my mind clears up a bit.
And with each drop
of a tear down my cheek
my vision is a little less blurred.

I had lost sight of myself a little,
but I'm gaining ground every day
on who I'm really meant to be.

Pretending it's not enough
None is able to deceive all these ghosts
They banalize your smiles but
They banalize your tears
And I wasn't born empathic

Identifying your thoughts with strong words
But you're still incomplete
None knows this feeling, I guess

Find the way
Can anyone tell me how can it be so hard, now
The way out gets weaker
Gets extraneous
Can't be enough anymore

Can't stand still
Can't wait all the time
Can't fight it all away