I wait for the crashing fight.
for the tire screech,
the door slam-
for the lava words
that roll magnificent red from my tongue
and slowly drip ashen black onto the wooden floor between us.
I wait for the broken flute,
tiny bubbles, tiny dreams-
all absorbed by Berber Carpet
and mailbox stuffed
with molehills of mountains.
I wait for the heaving pressures
that blow things upwards,
that blow things inwards.
That makes canyons
and mushrooms
I wait for the fury that turns my eyes
cast with doubt, cast with coal dust.
my lungs puffed with indignation-
so little room to breathe
that I am high from venom.
I wait for the disgust to
wrap around me like a Sunday School wrap-skirt
colorful and gay,
and dropped to the floor without
consideration.
I wait for the hate to be early.
with hope already so foolishly spent on each other,
with faith so carelessly blown away
riding in invisible
paper airplanes-
such are the kisses sent across busy roads.
Waste, waste all these desires of the mundane
when lust drives
outside forces divide,
heat and sinner unite us
and I wait,
I do.

I wait for it to pass.
So as to get to the stuff a day beyond the splintered wood
past the love,
past the lush.
past the lace on my forehead.
I wait for it all to past so as to get myself wholly to you.
For it is not the very last of days
I wait to spend with you,
It is the very all of days I wait to spend with you.


Sahn 3/16/15

i lay down my
vanities
like
oranges
at the altar.
i pour out my
pride like water
from the Krishna-
sodden ribbon of faith
runs around and over and
through your hands
and i lay down my
face on your lap
and i lay down my face
on your map of the world
and the oceans whisper under my ear
and the future
is a boxer inside of your chest
throwing fist-
bom, bom
after fist-
bom bom
at the shadows on the wall.
and i lay my faces down
all five of them-
six of them.
and i lay them down to
be eaten by the dogs.
while they chew merry on my
presentations, my false introductions.
i look to the night sky of your face
and it looks like it may rain.
sorrow rain. snowflake fractals falling on my
cheek-
great rivers of regret and sorrow
and restraint.
i look up
Rigel Kentaurus
is shining from somewhere deep inside.
and i find you, and i find my way
around the black hole
inside you and i move swift around the comet that is me.
fire, fire, pieces of planets and fire
fiercely forcing it's way through the universes until
i finally hit
a force stronger than i.
i shed my clothes.
as naked is the eyes that see me, true.
i shed my pride.
as forgiving is the soul that nurtures.
i wear your adoration like cherry blossoms blooming
i wear your eyes, i take them from you
to see me,
to see me
and i do not disappoint. i am naked and beautiful and modest
just as you said i would be.
beautiful vessel
the Gods choose well,
so i lay my silks and finery at your feet.
blossoms in the sacrificial bowl.
let me lay, just a little longer,
on your lap that is the world
let me lay here
while your hand of the softest gossimer fingertips
rides the bumps in my spine.
let me find myself in your lush silence
and in this divine be forgiven-
oh! That I find myself forgiven.

sahn
1/19/2015

She wrote:
Meet me there.
Run across the track.
I never watch you leave,
Please, come back.

He wrote:
If you never watch me leave,
Then I am still here.
I watch over you, darling.
I'll be there.

Who are you?
Are you a human gentle and sad?
Are you a flower slowly wilting?
Maybe you’re the sun burning with radiation,
Or a myth that outlived a century,

Who you are is not what you think.
Maybe you’re actually a star burning with gas,
Or a medallion worn around an empress’s neck.
Or maybe,
You’re the God.

Maybe, you know exactly who you are,
Because the spirit never changes.

Everyone forgets your name
The name never spoken
The name never said

The name that sang songs
Too beautiful for the ear
The name that waltzes on every tongue
The name that’s like a being
Like a creature that hides
Only to be seen by chosen

This name that is never said
This name that is never spoken—
Only remember this:

Everyone forgets.

I can’t say a word
If I do the world will end.
I’ll be the cause
I’ll be the blame.
I can’t write anymore.
My words are too strong
Slowly, you’ll die.
I can’t say a word,
I’ve said too much
Like insects eating me,
I’ll be the fire
I’ll be the bomb.
I can’t write anymore
My words are defeating
Slowly, I’ll die.
I can’t say a word
If I do, the world will end.
I’ll be the cause
I’ll be the blame
I’ll be the bomb
I’ll be the flame.

Five years
Eleven cries
Don't go now
Don't let it die

A thousand years,
Two-hundred cries,
It's never gone,
But it nearly dies.

Watch me then
Watch me now
Your silence is soft
But silence is loud.

Eyes of new and old,
As deep as the sea,
Golden eyes as cold,
As eyes that watch over me.


Meet me there.
Run across the track.
I never watch you leave,
Please, come back.