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Chloe Haas Feb 2021
am I broken
is there something wrong with me
I just feel so confused
and gone
and alone
you see,
I thought I had someone and then she left me.
for all the things my mind did to my body.
and then there was her but she left me and every-body.
but is there something wrong with me?
I feel as though I don't work properly.
my mind and soul drifts away from me
disconnected from all of what's left of me.
and everyone leaves.
...and I'm not here enough to tell them to stay.
Void Feb 2021
The intricate patterns
Plastered on the wall
So intricate in design
But I've studied it all
The wall is a friend
Of whom I can depend
To console my broken spirits
My mind relaxes
As time passes
And all I do is stare
Nothing seems to matter anymore
As I stare at my wall
As I stare, I start to lose feeling until I feel nothing at all
Alexciya Feb 2021
The gurgle of the coffee maker,
The clink of your spoon on the frigid counter,
The sizzle of bacon residue in a frying pan,

and an egg cracking over it.

The murmurs of the news reporters on the tv,
The distant roar of a train in the background,
The dive into sensory pleasure,

while reality dissipates.

The smell of hazelnut creamer and cinnamon,
The taste of a waffle with buttery syrup,
The warm sun on your face through the window,

today is good; today will be different.

The giggles of the waffles and coffee,
The light conversation and hard laughter,
The feeling of home... within them,

a sudden shift in atmosphere.

The sharp loss of appetite
The grieving of what wasn’t lost
The shared remorse for nothing you’ve done

they tell you that you’re pathetic.

The despair in your mug dropping into the table
The swallowed tears and screams
The chaos that covers every square inch of you

distance between you and hope still stands.

The ***** kitchen and your empty stomach
The distressing moonlight that creeps in the window
The anger in thinking you’re liberated this time

sounds of an empty home stir.

The cold seats that have accompanied nobody
The wallowing roar of silence
The jacket of despair that wears you

your average day.
Cole M Jan 2021
Once again it was past midnight
when I woke up from my lethargy
and I couldn't feel a thing.

Nothing has changed
after all these years I couldn't live,
I'm still whining and crying
pointing to the sky with trembling hands,
waking up watching the same day over and over
and I can't help but keep asking to the void,

why am I staring at the same ceiling,
writhing in the same agony,
recalling the same gone days,
locked up in the same rotten body?

Because no one will answer,
please, God,
release me.
cleo Dec 2020
got all these voices in my head
and monsters in my bed
and memories of words and things
i can't recall i said
cleo Dec 2020
miles away
i’m feeling F a r  A w a y…
i see myself and i just float (t)here
waiting to wake up from this fog

things are hazy
curse that **** juice
what happened exactly?
the words are heavy on my tongue…

can’t get myself to spit them out
can’t get myself to speak the truth
can’t get myself to admit what you did to me

out of character behavior
out of body experience

oh
you don’t remember
oh
i’m sorry i’m holding onto things you forgot all about

i tried to use you as an antidepressant
you just used me
i should have left my feelings for you at the door

i wish i had said no to you
i wish i had been given the choice

i’ve got to let it go (but when? and how?)
if i don’t think about it, it won’t hurt.. right?
gotta focus on someday cuz today hurts a little too much

i wish i could stop thinking about this
i wish i could forget you
i wish you could understand that i don’t hate you
i just wish i’d never met you
some old writing
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