My slumber is restless and tortured by endless rivers of flowing words that pour from my mind and run down my cheeks. I have visions shattered with red eyes - succubus' dreams and deep despairs of forgotten lovers. I have all the normal layers of womanhood but my widened, blank eyes stare on into darkness. My mind is plagued by dreams of ghoulish figures and dansing devils. I feel enigmatic and cursed, like a banshee roaring through the mind of a mad man. I have only sexuality and insanity to feed my starving soul. There is a stellar gift bestowed upon me as I glance up to the heavens, as I am deep in the throws of my insomnia. I find comfort in this cosmic god that I swear only I can see. Everything around it becomes black at the sight of this glorious red gleam in the sky. Perfectly aligned and positioned in my window, a glimpse of my true home. The Rocky planet stares indifferently at me but with a faint vengeance in it's glare. The god of war scolds me for being weak and brings me visions of blood soaked angels come for my soul. I am unsure if this brutality will bring contentedness but at least it has rested the other bitter thoughts battling for a piece of my mind.

Sorry to victimize you with my lonely cries
Fabricate my brain under the sheets of lies  
How selfish am I
Selfish is taught,
by was selfish See's
Depression & suicide
Took me down to my knees
A man once told me-
Depression is a choice
My aching heart that feels suffocation
Before I'm able to speak my own voice
My aching heart that can't simply
Define what it means-
The guilt that destroys you
Or what it means to destroy the guilt.

I hold my walls strong,
Just like the others,
I am no more weaker than-
I am no more selfish than
Depression & suicide
Doesn't let me know that you are better than
Your not.

Here, in the darkness
I am free
Here, in the darkness
I can be whatever I wanted to be

Here, in the darkness
I am my own God
Here, in the darkness
I forget everything I had

Here, I'm all alone
With nothing,
But the devil in me
'Coz I'm a fool
Who's afraid of light

We move in strange ways
Our minds have gone insane
Dark haunting jerks of
Misrepresentation clinging grotesquely
To our fragile bones.
We live in fear, wonder slipping from
Empty eyes, crying in an
Echoing silence, still moving
In rituals. Lies whispered between
Truthful teeth, seeping deceit as we
Lie in wakeful drunkenness
Absorbing the black
Outside our window.

The eyes of her;
Are beyond beautiful.
Much more than I, myself, can imagine.
The wondering eyes of me;
Can never stop staring at the beauty,
that swipes Thy heart for herself.

The kind heart of she;
hides throughout the brutal darkness,  
Never for seeing the need of light.
"Those who wonder in to such;
Futuristically get broken down,
And end up where I, myself am now.

For every slight attempt,
I am turn down.
No trust as expected,
For I am one of the unimportant.
Inside the brittle heart of thy;
And past the walls of hell,
She knows I love every part of her.
The mind of mine;
knows the beauty inside,
has been torture by those of the weak,
For past, and present centuries.
The brain of me;
Understands,
"For thy myself;
Think and feel the same."

As the shining stars cover the dark,
Night sky,
I think to myself
Beyond the darkness of her,
She still amazes thy heart and soul...
Never more

"He left me
high & dry
fondling
just the
fizz of
us."
|| shoo.shu ||

"chasing down
******-babble
with distilled
shots of art
after detonation,
was not unlike
unlike being
spellbound
by a lover's
jawline,
unhinged."
||shoo.shu ||

"preyed upon by
a decipherable
stranger,
mapped in
déjà vu. a
prophetic bang
of sublime
yesterday's
& objects in
mirror are
closer than
they appear.“
|| shoo.shu ||

"**** valley hero
of barbaric bled
innocence; a
collection tray
of lake
sang bleu,
out of place"