is it too selfish that
i want you to know how you teared me apart
how you made me grow overnight
how you poured acid on my rib cage
and left me with thoughts like i deserved that outrage
i want my wasted childhood to hurt you
haunt you in your nightmares and in your daydreams
no father, im not as brutal as it seems
but there are some parts of my body that i hate
because i cant forget your hand's weight
there are some memories that i wish i would forget
how you filled my child heart with secrets and guilt
then slip away like you were a great dad to the hilt

The mess you made?
I was left to clean.
I scrubbed it spotless,
While you skipped 3,000 miles
Like a rotten fiend.

You’re a shadow of the man I thought you were--
Or who I had hoped you were, at least.

Every good deed you’ve done
Has been thrown back in my face
As proof of your love.
While every mistake I made
You never forgave.

Consider these my parting words
Because, finally, I’m done

I can’t take the constant abuse.
The emptiness I feel has no use.
Forever *******
By life’s vicious wheel
Of misfortune.

I hope you’re happy with your new life
That's not any part of mine.

Since I’ve been such an awful daughter
it’s not a huge loss now, is it?

Didn’t think you’d admit it.

But I’m far better than you, you see--
I gave you countless chances
And let you back in.

I believed that you changed,
But you proved me wrong.

I wish you well,
I really do.

No matter what you may think,
Part of me will always love you.
You’re my father, my blood, after-all.

But you left me,
So why wouldn’t anyone else?
I play that game constantly with myself-
Shut down. Turn off.

When it comes to relationships,
It’s living hell
To get the real me
To come out of this hardened shell
That you helped me build.
Quite a lonely guild.

I’ll fight every urge to mistrust men,
But walking down the wedding isle
My arm will bend
With no hand to hold.
I’ll face the world alone--
Exactly the way you left me,
The way you wanted it.

This is everything you asked for, isn’t it?

So I’ll be the bigger person for one last time:
I wish you well;
Goodbye.

I hear a sigh
Across the sky,
Filling the stars
And fulfilling life....
No sigh; it is my daughter
Waking from sleep.

One:

She sings in her bed
While she stares at a picture
Of her daddy.
On her lap is a razor
And her monsters cut away
At her lap, laughing.
The girl sings her song
In the empty house.

Two:

Her sky was a daddy,
There were birds and clouds
And the air was pure
In his hands.

The clouds caressed
Her face and her face told
Of a sadness,
Like a cloud her daddy
Wasn't there.

Three:

Heart full of dreams
And eyes filled with water,
I will share the girl's secret:
Daddy was taken away,
Her daddy was locked away.

Unfastened in her defenseless
Blood, she annoints herself interrupted,
She has the scars,
You can see the scars.

Her song sings:
Daddy do not abandon me.
I am alone
In the tears and the blood
I am home, alone.
You are not here,
And it hurts me truly,
You are not here.