I felt so alone.
every place I went. every place I stopped to visit.
Seemed off.
I followed the noise of everything around me
in the hope of finding something familiar.
I rounded corners, crossed mazes of streets.
I didn't feel like I belonged to any of these places.
mostly filled with strange looks. anxious behavior.
still, I walked.
big city life is too busy.
always somewhere to be. always something to do.
it's easy to lose track of time.
keeping up with the next thing to do, the next place to be.
I felt so alone.
my walk becoming more unease. my shoulders more tense.
nothing really felt warm.
everyone felt cold, lost in the hustle of busy feet.
Shoulders almost bumping into each other,
Cars screeching their horn almost running into the other.
the sanctuary of what I really needed seemed far away.
still, I walked.
meeting the avenue of your eyes. you.
you seemed different.
far different than any place I’ve been.
I felt like I’ve been here before, or at least
Would remember if I’ve dreamed about it.
I didn't need to look at a menu to know what I wanted.
there wasn't a question of where I’d sit, or if there'd be
a seat by the window.
No remembering if I needed to stop at an ATM or if I had the right
Amount of money. I felt at ease.
I immediately knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be.
if I did continue to walk, it would be into tomorrow.
so that I could come back here.
a patron whose face would take no time to remember.
when the weeks turn into years.
I’ll remember to tell you; this is how I got home

My city...
I was here before it was even one,
my toys are older
than the high-rise buildings.
Yet all of my oldest dreams
have long been gone,
this is where new people
from far-away are dreaming.

People dream to visit here
even for a day,
I can't count the years
I've been trying to escape.
People travel here
to have a sip of coffee,
even the taste of water here
can tell that I am sick.

In the inner city,
while everyone takes photographs,
I try my best to walk
with my shoulders not dropped.
In the chic cafes
where others strike a pose,
I knew I never wanted more,
I had my dose.

My city,
that many people dream
of visiting and living in,
why, then there's me
who's here and feeling livid in.
My now-larger-city
that still feels like a small town,
I feel suffocated,
as if all my life I'm in a tight gown.

Meeting you gave me the permission
I sought in myself.
To get out & explore in a sense
that it feels like home.
Being with you, the best idea yet.
Small petite buildings, towering
buildings.
Everyday feels brand new
I don't feel the need to stay cooped
up inside a room.
With you I want to get out &
explore and sleep when there is
time.
I've never been to a place like
this before.
I've never tasted food this good
before & for once,
There are no distractions, no other
place to be.
The lights that shine from your eyes
The thoughts that travel fast like cars.
I've never been to a city like this
before, the best idea yet.
When people ask me where I've been
I call your name.
When friends ask me where I'm going
I call your name.
And I can't wait until I get back there

I had forgotten
The **** steam from a sewer grate
Nature’s heat lamp
And the regulars you see
When you’re walking the streets
And I hope they can find a clean mattress.

I remember these early times
The first
Downtown in the cold
Lights out.
Adults living like heathens
Teens on the streets
My inspiration
The freedom which comes
from taps on bricks
cold air to put
you right back in your body
Frightening.
It was freedom nonetheless

What a city!
What tales to tell!

A pizza boy crossing the street
impatient, tired features
clicking of heels on the stairs
their elbows touch
strangers from different worlds
intimate for a fleeting moment

Wailing of an ambulance
crashing with the seductive smell
from the corner coffeeshop

A girl flirting with the waiter
while round the block
at a divorce court
one fairy tale ends

Yesterday's newspaper
left on the bus seat
a homeless man in the park
humming quietly
the city has many faces

Raindrops on your office window -
is it a life what's happening out there?