It's disheartening that you're sharpening all your knives to break your skin. To gouge out deeper, to cleave disaster, to carve out canyons with your hands.

And your heart's pacing and your mind's racing while you're retracing every scar with a pen. What a nervous itch that you hope to quit. The knives you hope to ditch weigh on your mind again.

You know these epidermal lies, they're just artificial highs just to help you get by but it's not the same as finding a new will to live and finding one more hope to give in every single cut you did just to keep you sane

These medications that you're taking: they're not keeping you from breaking. They're just filling you with anger, a bitterness and a resentment

And it's not shocking that your pill popping has got your heart stopping. You feel like dying once again. What a nervous itch that you hope to quit. The pills you hope to ditch weigh on your mind again.

Your decisions left incisions. But let's not talk about it. Let's just forget about it

I never tell you when I'm crying
I never tell you "please don't leave me"
I never tell you how empty I feel
I never tell you about the pounding in my head, or about the overwhelming urge to talley my sleepless hours into my skin
I never tell you about the broken vessels in my eyes from the times I weep so hard I ***** up your absence I so carefully choked down
I never tell you how I wish you would give me flowers..they don't have to be fancy..
I never tell you what a fool I am
I never tell you about how selfish I really am
I never tell you about how badly I want you here; about how lost I am without you
I never tell you about how badly I want to dance with you
I never tell you how I wish you would tell me I'm beautiful every chance you get
I never tell you how when I see you disconnect, I cry and cry and cry
I never tell you how I bet you're fine without me
I never tell you how I want to spend the best years of my life with you
I never tell you how lonely I am
I never tell you
I never tell you
I never tell you
I never

their eyes carve letters in to my back, spelling out words that will break me.