faces

pressed hard against frosted glass
face shapes, indistinct
bleached of expression
distorted by breath condensed

why choose to suffer like that
frozen to the outside of distorting glass
separated by that pane
division you refuse to submit to?

when every smile is unaware
where there are no windows on the soul
who you are a concrete set

I resonate because
on this side too
there is identity, pulse,
that quiet sense of self
pushing harder into the ice
believe some locks
can be unpicked

Think think!
Think of a time
when you had a friend
one negative thought
will make your friendship end
if you think your mind is negative
then think again,
all this bitterness inside
must come to an end.

Echo echo!
Echoing voices inside your head
the words clogging up your ears
after all the books you read
you believe there are more words
that hasn't been said
if so, don't overthink it
don't drown yourself with dread.

Dream Dream!
Dream about achievement
never over relax
don't chase your dreams by sleeping.

Hope Hope!
Hope won't bring you low
you say it's pointless
believe me I know,
always stay positive for
god will shine a light on you
and make your confidence glow.

Imagine imagine!
Imagine a day without stress
if everyday was a vacation,
you couldn't careless
picture your mindset again
it's not a torn up mess,
fiill your thoughts
with happiness and nevertheless.

Love love!
Love from the work of God,
he taught you much
loving him wasn't so hard
but loving other people is
that why he made you smart
by managing your feelings
he has given you a clean heart.

Believe Believe!
Believe in God and yourself
God loves you as aspie
he gave you multiples of talents
of what he trained you to be.

Every day, I get out of bed
And wait for work so I can stay out of my head.
For 8 to 9 hours a day, I talk to people I barely know.
but it's a big relief because I'm not the star of the show.
When you live life on the autism spectrum, the mind can be a scary place.
You question every decision you make, and just talking to people can make your heart race.
It can make you feel alone. Frustrated. Sad.
But it's not all bad.
People on the spectrum see the world in a way most could never understand.
It's beautiful. And we want you to experience it. That's why we reach out for your hand.
We want to connect.
But it takes a while to learn how.
If you can be patient, when we're ready, we'll show you the world in a different way. I promise it will make you say "wow."

Look at me.
Tell me what you see.
Dark hair
Blue eyes
Pale skin,
Is that all?
Look again.
Look closer.
Please,
Look closer.

Do you see them,
The scars
The bruises
The cracks?
The shadows,
So many shadows.
When I look in the mirror
They're all I can see
But you say that I'm fine,
Am I fine?

Please.
Please see me
Please hear me
Please.

Can you hear them
On my tongue,
The pleas
The cries
The screams?
They sound so loud
In my head,
And taste so bitter
Always sitting there,
A sodden
Seething
choking pill
That I can't swallow,
But can't spit out.

Do you understand?
Please.
I just need someone
To see me.

All I can do is close my eyes,
And hold my breath,
And pray that this is not my life.
That I was switched at birth,
Or switched in time,
Or maybe I just haven’t woken up yet.
That’s it!
It must be!
This is all just a dream,
a nightmare,
This merry go round
Of work and bills and people, oh my!
And the tune that it’s playing
As I spin round and round,
The cracked cadence of a broken music box,
Do this, do that, why aren’t you married yet?
Hey don’t worry,
You just haven’t found the right guy.

It should be so easy,
To dance to their tune.
Everyone else does it…
So why can’t I?