Interesting how my story
hasn't been written yet
But somehow
you know
all the
words.

How long do I need to wait?

I've been here for a year
With my heart in my hand
And nothing more to offer.

How long do I wait?

Until you notice me.

How long still,
Would I have to believe
That you are going to be mine?

How long do you think it'll be
Till I give up?

And how long would it take
For you to begin to miss me?

How long?

oh my
did you see it?
Grandpa kissed Grandma
and she liked it!
I don't believe it!
but why?
eeewwwwww
kissing!!

oh my
did you see?
Daddy kissed Mommy
and she liked it!
but why?
ughhhhh
kissing!!

oh my
I think I..
am going to be sick
Why, Gramps?
Why, Daddy?
kissing!!

Then Mommy told me
nothing's wrong with it
just a gentle kiss
women like that

Then Grandma spoke up
nothing's wrong with it
just a simple kiss
things women like

Mommy? Grandma?
Daddy? Grandpa?
Will I like it
when I grow up?

After they all nodded
I just said
''Not me!
I'll stay a kid forever!''

We couldn't find you

I shouldn't be the one to have to tell you this
There was no need for anyone to finish that sentence
I knew what had happened

They found you in the car
With our family's dog
The garage door sealed shut
Car still running
Spewing toxic fumes

A huge anvil came down and knocked my feet out from under me

My sister and I collapsed onto the floor
It felt like someone was tearing me apart
One piece at a time
Like someone had punched a hole through my chest
Ripping out my heart to burn and crush into the ground

Our worlds seemed to collapse around us, I had to hold my legs so tightly to my chest to prevent myself from falling apart right there on the floor

I didn't have a mother anymore
She is not going to see me graduate
She is not going to help me pick out my grad dress
She is not going to meet my first true love
She is not going to be there when I have my first drink in a bar
She is not going to be there when I show her my engagement ring
She is not going to be there when my father walks me down the isle
She is not going to be there when I announce that I'm pregnant
She is not going to be there when my first child is born
She is not going to be there to be the most loving grandmother
She's gone