Every minute of everyday of every week of every month of every year, all I hear is your voice. Your voice has driven me to the point of insanity, you are the reason I hate myself. The reason why I have scars. The reason why I want to die. I can't take it anymore, I thought if I left then the pain would go away but I was wrong.
Everyday I hear the names.
Stupid, *****, worthless, *******, useless, ******, and so many more I can't name them without a risk of having a breakdown.
Every week I feel the pain of the hits.
In my sides, back, thighs, and arms.
Every months I hear the old things.
I wish you were never born, I wish you would just leave.
So I did. But I still want to die.
Every year... I miss and love you even when I shouldn't... But what can I say... I'm a stupid worthless birth who should've never been born, right dad?

Darkness covers my vision, making me fear my own actions.
The actions I can't control.
The action of me picking up a blade, only for the light to come back as my lover walks in.
The action of me screaming at my lover, only for the light to come back the next morning.
Who I am can change and it scares me.
I don't know what to do.
I can't control myself anymore.
I need the pain.
I need the blade.
I need the blood.
I can't survive the blackout...

Cats say "meow, feed me punny human."
Dogs say "I love you, Master! Could you feed me please?"
Cows say "Moo, I'm a cow."
Ducks say "Quack, get the hell out of my way."
Bugs say "Oh look! A freshly cleaned car! Let me go explode my insides on it!"
Society says "You're fat, Go **** yourself, You're stupid. Ew, your thighs touch? That's nasty. Oh my god, your ribs aren't visible through your skin! What's wrong with you!?"
No one likes society, maybe society should just go **** itself rather than making us all hate ourselves.

I don't understand, according to society, the new look is your ribs poking out of your chest and having a thigh gap as wide as the grand canyon. Do people not realize that isn't healthy! I want to see curves, not the curvature of your bones! You don't need to lose a meal in hopes of being pretty, you don't need to cake your face with make up. Beauty is all about who you are, not about your skeleton or the brand of makeup you use. Beauty isn't forcing yourself to throw up, it's eating more healthy food and saying a big "*******!" to the few who try to call you otherwise. **** society, make your own standards.

There it is again, the craving.
I can feel it crawling under my skin.
The need to feed is too strong,
I can't move.
Not until I have it.
The poptarts put a dent in it,
But it's not enough.
The cereal, better,
It's coursing through my veins.
I can feel myself getting stronger.
The pepsi, it fuels me,
I can do everything now,
No one can stop me.
I will be satisfied for now, maybe an hour.
Then the urge will return and the cycle will start again.

I've noticed that the term "Mom" means so little to everyone now, they think "mom" just means "the woman who gave birth to me and tells me what to do."
I'm here to prove how wrong that is.
A mom is so much more than just some woman who controls you, wives and teachers do that too.
A mom is an angel with a shotgun, she can make you feel like you're up above the clouds, but she'll put you in your place to.
A mom is a soldier, she fights all of your battles right by your side and she'll never leave you behind if you fall or get hurt.
A mom is like a counselor you can do talk to about all of your problems and she'll never judge you.
A mom is the greatest friend you could ever ask for, she will gossip with you, go shopping with you, argue with you, laugh with you, and make sure you don't do anything stupid.
A mom is like a tiger, she's fierce, she can be scary, but she protects her cubs with her life and does everything she can for them.
I don't know about you but my mom is all of these things and so much more, I don't know where I'd be without her. But, I do know one thing for sure, she saved my life. Not only did she create it but she saved it.
I wish I could show her how much she means to me but I'm super bad at that kind of stuff.
So I keep trying to not be as much of a pain in her ***.
I wish everyone could have a mom like mine.
Everyone needs my mom to get them through life because she's the greatest mom I could ever ask for. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you more than you could ever know or even begin to imagine.