I want to feel it again.
The pain.
I want to feel the blade cutting into my skin.
The Blood.
I want to feel it drip down my skin like rain drops.
The stains.
I want to see the blood stain my sleeves.
The scars.
I want to add to my story and create more marks on my body.
The tears.
I want to cry away the pain of regret.
The feeling.
I want to feel again.

Maybe one day it will all go away.
Maybe one day the pain will fade.
Maybe one day the scars will fade.
Maybe one day I will be okay.
Maybe one day I won't feel the need to cry.
Maybe one day I won't want to cut.
Maybe one day I won't want to feel pain.
Maybe one day I won't feel so lost.
Maybe one day I won't feel the need to push everyone away.
Maybe one day I won't feel like I'm nothing.
Maybe one day I will truly be happy.
Maybe one day I will be able to smile genuinely.
Maybe one day I can just forget.

Depression is like a never ending hallway with no light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, I see a small flicker but it quickly gets swallowed up by the darkness. It seems as if there is no end to this madness, I keep telling myself to keep going but I'm breaking... bit by bit, I can see the pieces of me just falling off. I try to pick them up but I always drop more. Then I see the darkness running towards me so I run, but I can't move. It has already captured me and is pulling me back with it, to never see the light again.. I will get out and find my way home. I have to.

I don't understand. Are scars invisible? No? Then how come I have to tell people my story? My scars tell you everything you want to know about me. The way I walk, talk, how I dress. It's me. How I act. Everything I do should just scream what my life is like and what I have gone through. Sadly, people only look, they do not observe. If people would just take a few more seconds to really look at someone then they would truly know how to react and care for them. Not just let them fall back into their holes....

Why is it when someone is physically in pain they describe it as unbearable?
But yet, when someone is emotionally in pain they just say they are fine?
That is because the only people who have experienced unbearable pain have either ended their lives or try to hide what they have done.
The rest of us could never truly know unbearable pain until we just want it all to be over.

Pain is easily remembered,
Love is easily forgotten,
But in order to have love,
You must have pain.
Love always causes pain,
Pain sometimes ends in love.
If  you want peace in life you
Must know that love delivers pain,
And pain is beaten with love.
Love and pain must coexist in order
To balance each other out.