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I will Hold you
up when you
can't stand
I will wipe
away the
tears
when
you
cry, I will Fight for
you when you give up and I
will LOVE you forever and
always!!
 Jan 2015 lost in thought
nivek
I am the nothing within your wanting
and your wanting is my reason-
reason to seek you no matter what
You bleed and
you wither,
and you bruise
and you shatter,

though, outwardly,
most can’t tell,
blinded and deafened
by their own
inane chatter,

as you slowly
and cursedly die,
it just doesn’t seem
to matter.


-by Mercurychyld
Copyright 28 Jan 15
 Jan 2015 lost in thought
AJ
Sorry you hate me so much.
Sorry I can't help but throw words of advice at you,
but you are so sad,
and you had brought me down in the months I've known you,
and it's such a habit to bring you back up instead of bringing myself up.

Sorry she tore your heart out of your chest,
and you can't help but keep ripping up the pieces,
but don't you see she's not even remotely close to being "worth it"?

Sorry I made you talk to me again,
after I told you stop,
but you made the promise that you wouldn't leave,
although how many times has that promise been made?

Sorry I want to find you,
and scream at you to make you understand
that no girl will ever understand you,
like I understood you,
when I stayed all night with you the night I came home after a long trip,
and all we did was talk about the stars,
and I saved your life for what seemed like the millionth time.

But I'm even more sorry for not even wanting you,
and for you not wanting me,
and for you being blinder than ever,
because you depend on others to be your happiness,
and aren't you aware that's the most self destructive thing you can put on yourself?
Many sighs between
The heart and lips
Oft, feelings are adrift
Winds of time
Takes hold of the sail
Pulled away
By the undercurrents
Of despair
It's like why I wake up early. Then you can justify to yourself why you are feelings so lonely. Obviously, since no one else is up, it makes sense you feel lonely, but when you are around people and you still feel lonely, that's when you feel most alone, because it doesn't make sense.

If I'm cold, I can justify to myself the reason I feel that way. I'm not wearing a jacket in the winter, clearly it makes sense that I'm cold. Then, if I feel cold inside even though I'm wearing a thick jacket, I feel even colder than before and can't understand why I feel so cold inside.
it's hard to explain. basically, I'm cold inside, but it's not a normal cold. That's the only way I can explain this feeing. It's unpleasant though. Horrible, actually.
I'm sorry* your inbox is all me
I'm sorry I'm so **** needy
I'm sorry I'm afraid of everyone leaving
I'm sorry I say yes and then I say no
I'm sorry I beg you to stay then I go
I'm sorry I'm the sun then the moon
I'm sorry I'm so confused
I'm sorry I'm addicted to abuse
I'm sorry I hate being used
I'm sorry  
I'm toxic
I'm sorry  
I'm me
I'm sorry, darling.
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