I used to go home for a smile,
a little escape,
a little love from
vibrations and messages

Now I go home with a smile,
a vast void of solace,
an immense adoration from
stolen kisses and glances

I used to think I'd rather be the one in pain
than to see my lovers hurt
I used to think they are dainty
and aren't capable of sorrow

Now I think I'd rather risk the battles
than to see this fade
Now I think the one I have is too brave,
and is too giddy for tomorrow

I used to be so afraid
I used to be so careful
I thought sacrifice might save them
as I hoped it might redeem me, too

Now I want to break these rules
Now I want to be aggressive
I think I cannot ever let you go
as I hope you would never, too

If only you know you are wasting that pretty face,
that scarred body,
that filled mind
and those skillful hands,
your sweet words and fake kindness

If you could only let go of the dark,
I am willing to walk you down the exit
we could be actual friends,
we could actually be true to ourselves

I craved for bolder,
stronger,
badder
than what we had
but what I received
were
much more of an impact,
a combustion,
much
much
more
*cosmic

The best love of all?
Is when you both
Found it at your worst.
Because,
Through all the flaws we see
*The beautiful truth.

I planted kisses on your shoulder,
the cloth was not thick enough,
so I gave kisses on your back, only softer,
and they were enough.

I saw how the sun shines on you,
it was beautiful,
it was a bliss,
it was radiant.

Embellish my life with sweetness
Fill my desires with gladness
Heighten my hopes like soaring birds
And fit my poems with fancy words

with thoughts simmering
i finally sat down
why cant my heart just stop beating?
on that note i frown.

for this life is nonsensical
without my muse,
i confess,
my days would not be lyrical.

this shall end tonight,
this should be my last,
but should i fright about
the shadows she had cast?

yes, for it will follow me
wherever I will be.
no, for i don't want to be free
let her shadows be with me

i tried to stand for all i care,
i tried to eat because they stare
i tried to move but i could not do
i almost wished you felt it, too