I
could
shower
myself
in
stardust
and
I
still
wouldn't
shine
as
bright
as
her*


                              B.S.

I feel sad again
I don't know why

I play around with it in my head
But there's still no reason why

Maybe it's because I fail at all I try
Maybe it's because I am not special
Maybe it's because I'm too weak
Maybe it's for no reason at all
Maybe my outlook is simply too bleak

Suicide; I haven't thought of how
In a long time
Suicide; I have thought of  when
Maybe now

It seems as good a time as any
But how to do it?
The choices again are too many.

I tried it once and failed
(Story of my life)
A halfhearted attempt derailed

I am sad again
I don't know why
I am deep
Below the sky

Help!
I shout
In my head
Help!
I never shout
Out loud
Again why?

Oh let me cry
I want to weep but I can't
And here again WHY

I feel alone
My heart beat frozen
I want to show how I feel
On the out side
But it never seems right
I am a in a solo fight
Again
WHY?

I'm heavy and fat
But I hate the heavy feeling that stops my simile
But I hate the heaving feeling that keeps me in bed
I hate the heavy feeling hovering all the while
I hate the heavy feeling that's rotting my head.
I'm fat and I hate it but I'm sad and I hate it more
This heaving feeling I abhor

Am I rotten?
Am I rotting?
I don't see the point
Is there one?

I am sad
Again
I don't know why

The pain is too much and has been going on for far too long
Good things never last and bad things find a way to stay
I feel abandoned and alone
I feel like I have no home

Lost in a dark forest
It's black and all around are the screams of who I used to be
In the distance I see a tall black tree
On it a rope
I tie it around my neck and set myself free

There's much more to life than what you want and need
There's others out there with more important needs
But life is full of selfish people ignoring the pain
Or so it seems
All people can see is what THEY have to gain
Look at life beyond whats only in YOUR mind
Think about the hurt of others and what they find
Inside yourself is something much more than you can see
All you need to do is put aside what's in your own world
And think outside the box to whats outside the things you believe

Feeling blue,
remembering you,
hearing the words that aren't true,
believing the love said by who

The feeling gave me butterflies,
and again remembering those lies,
Is this what I get as a prize?
Wounds will heal as time flies

You are my life's injury,
you were a Beast makes me believe to be beauty,
and now remembering our story,
makes me feel *gloomy