I planned it all out
    Carefully manipulated
       Every tiny detail
           As if I thought
               For those few seconds
                   That I could script life
                        I was going to tell you
                           I had it all figured out
                             But when life happens It never happens the way you wish.
    Your laughter seemed off
        Your smiles struggled
            As if you were clinging
                To a past happiness
                     Or trying for us or you
                         To act like everything
                               Was fine
And so I knew that my seemingly
   Unimportant piece of news
       Would knock you from
            Your carefully placed
                Pedestals, and that I could
                    Not bear to see
                        So since I couldn't
                           Find the courage.
                               To tell you in person
                                   I wrote it in a poem
I had a relapse, it was only two days
But I felt so hollow, so empty
And everything seemed to hit me
Like a train that had been delayed
I realized how far apart we really are
We said that it wouldn't change us
But I know that isn't true
We will always be friends but things are different now. And just the other day. In the hall I met his eyes and all I wanted to do was turn to you and cry
But then I realized I have gone so far, that no longer can I turn to you and hug you, unless it's from afar. So I had a two day relapse, it's run its corse and gone, and even though it's over now, if you know what I mean, the long sleeves are on.

life can be a theme park
not tall enough to ride this ride
merry go round dreams part
where ferris wheel hearts died

when all of the screams start
there is nowhere to hide
roller coaster dreams part
where bumper car hearts died

Maybe I’ve lost my voice because I’ve been screaming for help for years.
Now its the big day and I can barely spill a word
-foolish child, cant you be independent?
well heres what you deserve.

I'm standing in front of a crowd of people
I've tried endlessly to rely on,
and now I'm going to show them how I've failed.