Sister Carnalis: Favorites

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

Chloe

I want to smash my head through a ******* wall. Anything to make these thoughts stop.
I want to be held and have my forehead kissed, with the words “You are loved” whispered in my ear.
I want hands on chest, hands on neck. I want my neck to turn blue and my heart to stop. Then to start again with a kiss.
I want it all and I want nothing. My mind is so fast and so slow at the same time. Is this why the words come out in random orders?
Is this what it feels like to die??? /??? ??

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

He doesn't love you. (yet)

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

Chloe

He doesn't love you. (yet)

Give him everything you are.
Strip yourself to bare skin with chills on your spine.
Wishbones and collar bones,
your ribs protruding through your shirt.
He doesn't like fat girls.
So love begins on your knees in a bathroom stall
10 minutes after lunch.
Stomach acid burns your esophagus.
"I wonder if his **** going down will hurt as bad as ***** coming up?"
Be skinny.
Be everything he dreams.
Quiet, soft, subtle, pretty and confused.
Be this, that, and everything in between.
Be willing.
Be recyclable.
Be trash.
Broken glass in your retinas,
don't look him in the eye.
Let him have every part of you,
but hold back the feelings.
Be emotionless.
Be empty.
Now hope to god its enough for him to stay.
Ignore every part of you screaming
"he doesn't love you".
Unbutton your pants, pull off your *******
and reply,
"But I can make him."

I did this with 48 different guys.

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

Untitled

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

Chloe

Untitled

..

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

Dangerous

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

emily grace

Dangerous

and i hate to admit
i'm a lover of all things dangerous;
torrential downpours
too much whiskey
your hands and your lips

#love #lust #relationships #rain #hands #lips #whiskey #dangerous #kissing #danger

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

ruin me, apollo. make me daphne.

Aug 2015 Sister Carnalis

rogue

ruin me, apollo. make me daphne.

I want to eat ambrosia
from your fingertips.

I want to lick the wine
from your lips.

I want to **** the nectar
from your veins.

#lust #apollo #daphne #mythpoetry #apolloxdaphne

May 2015 Sister Carnalis

Touch

May 2015 Sister Carnalis

Angela Moreno

Touch

If for a moment, you could take away the lust
And the expectations of ***.
With the purest innocence
And absence of intentions.
Even with no desire for anything of flesh,
There is not a sweeter feeling in the world
Than that of being touched.

May 2015 Sister Carnalis

A real stranger

May 2015 Sister Carnalis

Angela Moreno

A real stranger

I almost ran away one night.
I almost left
To find a man to dance with.
Someone who was a real stranger.
He would never say,
"I know you."
And he would hold me
And hold me
And hold me.
And for a second I would be frightened
Because he held me too tight,
But really, "What's the big deal?"
Because he would be a real stranger.
He would hold me.
Never would I hear,
"I know you, I know you."
And I would never have to say
"No."

Dec 2014 Sister Carnalis

I would love you if I could

Dec 2014 Sister Carnalis

Chloe

I would love you if I could

I would love you if I could,
but I swear to god
his hands still glide over
my body in the night.
And his breath still
warms my neck when I'm alone.
I still feel his eyes watching me as
I shower.
I still hear him crying saying he's sorry.
But most of all
I still hear myself telling him its okay.

I love you more than anything in this world
but how am I supposed to show it when
every day it feels like I'm being ***** all over again.

I lock every door and I close the blinds. I keep my head down when i walk through the streets. I hate walking past his old room so now I avoid that hallway. I don't drive by his high school friends house, so I take the long way home. My eyes can't focus when I drive by the national guard building because that's the last place I ever saw him.
But no that's not true because I saw hin buying drugs one day and I got so high that night I couldn't even move. I smoked away that panic on his face when he saw me walk by. I still wish I would have yelled and screamed and told him I was hurt.
Because now I can't be in public without feeling violated by the eyes of strangers.

#love #pain #hurt #i #you #*** #dating #**** #brother #neck

Dec 2014 Sister Carnalis

Dead

Dec 2014 Sister Carnalis

Girl On The Wing

Dead

If you died tomorrow
What would you want them all to know?

That you loved having to conform?
That you appreciated the need to be the same?
That you were grateful for the chance to feel self conscious about your body?

No

You would tell them that you hated them
Their words
Both said
And unsaid
You hated their eyes
Looking
Judging
Never understanding

You would tell them that you found your place on earth
That you found your heaven
A place where love was real
Where friends laughed
Where people mattered
Not for clothes, hair, status, or money
But for the sole sake of being people

You would tell them that you were happy
And they still found a way to ruin it
And you hate them for it

#societysucks #somepeoplearecoolthough