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My Heart is a Rose
Delicately it grows, as flowers do;
I wish it were tough as nails.
Not so, although,
it's tough like a root,
That gets stronger the longer it grows
It creeps and sneaks through the dirt,
The ugly dirt.
It searches the depths for some food.
It knows what grows above,
and with love
It stays hidden, unburdened,
By the world that would judge.
It's beauty,
could never compare,
However without it there,
Everyone knows,
nothing can grow,
Without love.
Is it a sin to see my beauty within?
Some vain train of thought,
What I've never been told.
Knowing all that I'm not,
My beauty, behold, seeps through
And then seemingly out of the blue,
A flower bursts through.
It blooms, it grows, it's beauty, it knows.
And as it fades and gets ready to die,
It has no care for never meeting your eye,
to behold I.
And my ***** roots down below.
_
of all the love
and hate,
we are all
going
to the last word

End.
I lost myself
in the process
of finding happiness

©IGMS 2022
dear mother,
my mental health is not a spectator sport.

you do not get to tell me "you need to go to school to learn to be a decent person" when i am too depressed to get out of bed and then brag about my ACT score.
it is not your score. it is mine.

dear mother,
you do not get to tell me that you are sending me to a psychologist to "learn how to treat other people" and then ask me if i am okay. i am not okay.

dear mother,
you do not get to watch me hyperventilate under a bed on a school morning and get angry and then brag to your friends about my GPA. it is not your GPA. it is mine.

dear mother,
you do not get to scream at me for "upsetting your household" and order me to take easier classes and then brag to your friends that your daughter took 5 AP classes. yes, that is hard, but you made it harder.

dear mother,
you do not get to scold me when, yes, i stayed up all night but didn't finish my work but then brag to your friends about my success. it is not your success. it is mine.

dear mother,
you do not get to push me down and then comment on how wonderfully i got back up.

you do not get to cheer me in success and boo me in defeat. i am not a sports team, i am your daughter

dear mother,
you are not my mother. you are my fair-weather fan, and yes i am doing well now but i do not have time for autographs.

dear mother,
goodbye.
i wonder if
you wonder if
i'm sleeping

i wonder if
you wonder if
i'm fine

i wonder if
you wonder if
i'm knowing
there's another reason
that you can't
be mine
i'm sorry my writing *****
you made me feel so warm
i didn't even notice
you were setting me on fire

you burned me to the ground
and i'm not even sorry
if someone had came before you
and offered to douse me
i would have said no,
i would rather burn

now all i am is ashes
doing all i can to keep these embers burning
and trying to savor the warmth

i never knew, but you've always been fire, and i've always been easy to ignite
fires must move on to new fuel to stay alive
so goodbye
you burned so bright
 Jan 31 silvervi
Heliza Rose
Remember when the sun kissed you darling?
No?
Look at your skin and the memories will come flooding
 Jan 31 silvervi
Heliza Rose
Darling,
I know you are scared to **** your garden
Because you are afraid it will look too bare
But those pretty flowers you crave need space to grow
So even if it takes you a lifetime
Pull the weeds
Disturb the earth
Plant new seeds
do not fall in love with a romantic.
when he leaves you, every red rose you come across will remind you of the ones he surprised you with

do not fall in love with a romantic.
the song he would play for you on his guitar will echo in your ears for years; each time you hear it will feel like a small dagger in a fresh wound

do not fall in love with a romantic.
for two years, your heart will jump at every unexpected knock on your door, because you think that maybe it's him on another surprise visit.
eventually, you will guessing that these unexpected knocks are your new boyfriend, surprising you. your heart will jump, then fall. your new boyfriend doesn't make surprise visits

do not fall in love with a romantic.
you will find yourself naked in your boyfriend's bed crying about how you think he doesn't love you
because he doesn't love you like your old boyfriend did
you'll apologize, and he'll apologize, but he still won't love you like your old boyfriend did

do not fall in love with a romantic.
you'll embarrass yourself drunk texting him a year after you broke up

do not fall in love with a romantic.
i promise you that your boyfriend loves you even though he doesn't compare your lips to sugar and your eyes to oceans.
you are still his beautiful flower, even if he doesn't know how to spell hibiscus

do not fall in love with a romantic.
i promise you that your boyfriend loves you even though he doesn't surprise you with roses
i promise that your boyfriend loves you even though he doesn't write you letters
i promise that your boyfriend loves you even though he doesn't write you poetry
i promise that your boyfriend loves you

do not fall in love with a romantic,
you will never get over it
one of the most honest things i've ever written. we broke up a year ago today
I want a boyfriend who makes me laugh and smile.
A boyfriend who gives me butterflies.
I want a boyfriend who will hold my hand when we walk places.
A boyfriend who will call me beautiful and kiss me when I least expect it.
I want a boyfriend who shows me that he cares.
A boyfriend who makes me feel important to him.
I want a boyfriend who will stay home with me on a Friday night and watch movies with me.
A boyfriend who will cuddle me and get fat with me.
I want a boyfriend who loves me.
A boyfriend who will stay for a while.
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