Every night,
we were skin on skin,
soul on soul,
pain on pain.
I only knew him through heavy breaths
and vulnerable ***,
but I still let him slip away.
It hurts to say,
you can know someone so intimately,
from head to toe,
yet be blind to the emotions behind
every kiss.

But I should have saw his downfall,
because happy people don't
show up drunk at 3 AM,
begging to be touched,
begging to feel alive.

We've all been molested
By time and space

The lovers have problems
With keeping their place

A head filled with toxins
Colours, fairy tales

They teach us that men
Can make a home inside whales

My message is simple
Don't stand near train tracks

Though everyone does it
So it's time to relax

Speculations of pain
Hurt me enough

Weak to the core
Though I'm told that we're tough

I was fine I really was
I looked in the
Mirror
I was breathing, My eyes
Reflected back
I.was.there.
Then I saw the ghost in the
Mirror
Time stood still
And I stood still
Then my fist shattered the glass
Then I fell
And the darkness embraced me like an old
Friend

And the ghost took me to my back
12 year old me standing before the shower
And he saw
Me
But he didn't believe in a future
Consuming the hate spewed at him from the darkness
In his tormentor’s words
And I saw
Him
And I saw the ribs etched on his skin
The skin filling the Grand Valley
There’s nothing grinding that
I saw the blank look in his eyes
As he grabbed the
Razor
And he prepared but saw me
Hoping he
Had a chance


And the ghost took me back again
And 14 year old me ran around the track
And he was happy
Yet when he left
I saw that same blank look
I saw the kids avoid him like a rabid dog
I heard
Whispers
"He's ******* weird"
But he heard just as
I

And I returned to my sixteen year old self
And the shoes hung on the wall in their shoelace noose
Disused he lacked interest
His love was stolen
They said he wouldn't fit in no matter how fast he
Was

And the ghost from the mirror took my hand
And I stood over my 18 year old self
Gazing at him passed out on the floor
Pills spilled over in turmoil
Foam spilling from like bubbles from an overflowed bath

And now I'm 20
And I'm driven by the shade I was
hating the future
hating the past
hating the present
I liked being told the world was fair
I hate discovering it is anything but