As the first drop fell on me
I looked up at the black canvas
gathering and rumbling ominously.

But there was supposed to be another
not far
but right over my head
to defend me against the weather
pattering insane
between me and the rain.

Did I by any chance
leave my umbrella here, sir?
I ran to the shopkeeper.

We all suffer this predicament
was his smiling statement
losing grip over our mind
letting things be left behind
and then came the mischievous addendum
as if my trouble had inspired his mood

go for good
once you let them go
woman and umbrella

they never again show.

Is happiness a feeling?
A filling?
Making space for something
that has no presence
no weight bearing

Raise balled fists high
and whisper
I am okay with this
I am content in this

wraith of white
you wander wild
the hinterland
Valkyrie's child

your breath pants mist
in icy caves
you have made
10, 000 graves

your image is
in winter skies
its crystal glitters
in your eyes

loping through
the cold chill wood
its secrets you
have understood

born to lead
long of fang
through the glaciers
your voice rang

lonely in your Lycan heart
you made the ****
your kindest art

wolf of legend
wolf of lore
you'll reign untamed

forevermore


soulsurvivor
(C) 2/16/2014
Rewritten 6/12/2015

These days I don't look at the calendar,
These days I don't watch the clock
These days I don't have money,
But I'm alright,
Just doing me

These days I don't worry about no one but myself
These days I don't people please
I just walk forever,
Trying to get away from what's killing me

In December I left my job
I couldn't take the bullying anymore
I was sick of the minimum wage,
The sparse hours
No matter how much I tried my best,
My coworkers looked down on me,
I was the only one who wasn't a struggling single mother,
Maybe they were scared that I thought I was better than them

In December I would keep singing the song
I dreamed a dream from the Les Miserables soundtrack
I was so stuck
But then there was Christmas break
For three days
And I felt so free!
That I just knew I couldn't go back

But now I see it's the last day of June
I have no idea what I'm doing next
It's scary as hell
To be a blank canvas,
To be so aimless
What am I going to do with my life?
I wish a lightning bolt would strike me from heaven
And tell me what I'm supposed to be
It's been six months of doing nothing,
But within this intermission,
I feel myself healing...
Deeply.

My ashes will dance in the air of time
My body will feel the warmest fire
My soul will leave my body to swim in the water of void
And my name will remain on earth unstained

Termites won't feed on me
My bones remain whole
As my days traveled into the coffin of divine treasure
As my sun continues to shine in the ether where God lives

Written by
Martin Ijir

I waited so long
for this moment
so why do i feel so empty?

Three weeks ago
my only wish
was to be back in your arms.
but now i feel cold
between them.

I dreamt of you
telling me you missed me,
caressing my cheek,
looking at me like i was the only one.
so why do i feel
so indifferent
to your touch?

Two weeks ago
wine drunk under the stars
i swore i'd never stop loving you.
yet,
my heart
doesn't beat
when i'm with you.