I thought I heard
               Canadian slang
from the opposite bed-side
Like it's 2009, rub some lines off my face.
Inner space bleeding outward,
deep red, a nosebleed,
angled points on white of The Maple Jack.
               A Nip at the Sal's on Esplanade-Riel.

Grab your runners and toque,
               it's warm, but not forever
and these legs are sore. Polar bears
on the sweater you wore in the Fall--
Churchill, Manitoba, the streets are full of teeth and claws.
Awoke and wanted warmth lacking.
I thought I heard Canadian slang.

I thought I heard "it'll be okay"
from the voices of feathers fletching arrows falling.
     they whisper and screams sink deep behind
                                     eyelids
                                     closing.
A sentence unfinished,
                sinking in flesh
                              in time
                sinking
                              in snow and ice
                sinking
                              in water in Summer
                sinking
                              in memory.

I thought I heard
               plans being made
and shy laughter.
I heard it 5 times. Didn't I?
Days fade, ears dull*
Walking on streets, in the cold
towards her home
I thought I heard laughter--
                                   heard something
                        like laughter--
I thought I heard rain, as the Lodgepoles drank water.

I thought I heard laughter.

I thought I heard wax melt.
I thought I smelled fairness.
I thought you wanting more time
to bleed and blur tenses.
I thought I heard rivers rushing and roaring
                                                 their battle cries--
--asserting their presence.
I thought I heard cars pass and sounds of the daytime
                    and late March walk along bridges.

I could swear I heard something
     Like Canadian slang,
                 sweet
                     water
                  light
                      laughter.
Som­ething.

Gertrude, Stradbrook, River and Roslyn,
off of McMillan, my thoughts froze on Osborne
A drive through the Village on slippery streets
Bought records, drained pints
                        swallowed down summer nights
Back home in Wyoming--think I'll be fine
                         'til some night, filled to gills
                          trip through streets with a stranger
                          and sing "One Great City"
                          through swollen closed throat

And I remember...

Confusion Corner, commuting through cold streets
Watched you drive as the daylight died
I narrow my Focus,
                                     you eased into traffic
The Assiniboine ran and was watched by Riel

January.
Johnson's Terminal.
London Fogs.
Took Yellow Dogs for long walks
and Exchanged now for then. Snapped pictures, again and again.

Snow up to my hips
Spent a night at St. Boniface
We cased a cathedral, your friends seemed to like me.

Lines ran from reserves, over oceans and borders.
Your hair ran down shoulders, brown waves for a blanket.

Winterpeg, Manitscoldout
Portage & Main
Shivering, smiling
at a Tavern Uniting with friends,
'til we took the King's Head...
We took the King's Head.
Long live the king.

January.
Magic Thailand.
Curry soup, curried thoughts thawing,
melting, falling from pickled brains,
                      through lips chapping

I donned my Tuxedo, chopped down Seven Oaks...
Your Catholic heart spoke
     reached out for St. James.
     St. Vital answered behind Fort Garry's walls...

Our hearts, they were neighbourhoods
And the streets were all salt.

Blistered paint on your blue '02 Focus

To the City Center of the continent's middle
Form a Perimeter
Frame a city
Bullseye, center, a Gold gilded Boy
he leans into sky, as they sing, as I hear.
The road North Ended--November, it was.
I think, one year prior, in Robin's Donuts
front doors swayed, on hinges that sighed metallic,
I caught your eyes--organic, unplanned--
               through fog frosting lenses
Caught them, held on
               Held your deep brown
               In my gunmetal blue

Seasons will chase--haste to follow more seasons
White streaks to green
and the Red River runs.
When they score at the ballpark,
"Go Goldeyes!" the cheer sounds
Cheer. Cheer!
The Guess Who still ****,
but the Jets completed their round trip
"Go, Jets, go!" so the cheer goes.
"Cheers!" Cheers like bells.
             Bells
           Pealing
Peeling like your sunburnt back
            Bells
          Ringing
           Striking
Bells singing long
Bells sounding loudly from Grace Bible Church
  baptizing Baltimore as it kisses Osborne

Bells ringing. Round sounds.
Round rings for fingertips touching
Bells
Round sounds that hang on my neck
and sing me to sleep every night--
remind me how badly you wanted those bells
                I denied you.

They sing "Left and Leaving"
             and show me old scars
          they ring and peal and strike
                         and sing
                         unending.

I remember March of 2008
Dropping my toque in the mud-and-slush street
            We took Pembina Highway
              Ate Vietnamese.

I remember...

Confusion Corner,
Commuting through cold streets,
Watching you drive as the daylight died
In your blue '02 Focus
Ease us back into traffic,
The Assiniboine River.
And Louis Riel.

So tell me...

Comment-allez vous, ce soir?
Je ne suis pas comme ci, comme ça.

"Preciso de ti! Não partas e não deixe-me partir;
Me enterre aqui ao teu lado, senta comigo e vê as horas a passar;
O céu se encontra entre o azul e o mar, ambos claros, a fadar;
Preciso hoje mesmo a cor dos teus lábios encontrar, pois meus lábios incolores, precisam do toque dos seus para se pintar e num beijo cor de rosa arrepiarem-se.
Preciso hoje mesmo a luz dos teus olhos, pois meus olhos apagados e congelados precisam brilhar, e num só encontro de nossos olhos, num feixe enorme entrelaçarem-se.
Preciso hoje mesmo das tuas mãos para aconchegar-me, meu corpo, alma e coração sem vida precisar do seu calor para reanimarem-se, e num fogo a mil bons tons entregarem-se.
Ah amor, seu toque almejo e entre mil desejos só quero amar-te;
Nenhuma riqueza paga a felicidade do meu coração ao apaixonar-se.
Deus posso viver na pobreza, sem nenhuma grandeza se puder amar-te!
E a vida lentamente, ao seu lado ardente, irei trilhar-me.
Pois cada parte minha e cada parte sua, nunca estarão completas, se não juntarem-se."

Aparece
                  Ayúdame a existir
Ayúdate a existir
Oh inexistente por la que existo
Oh presentida que me presiente
Soñada que me sueña
Aparecida desvanecida
Ven vuela adviene despierta
Rompe diques avanza
Maleza de blancuras
Marea de armas blancas
Mar sin brida galopando en la noche
Estrella en pie
Esplendor que te clavas en el pecho
(Canta herida ciérrate boca)
Aparece
                  Hoja en blanco tatuada de otoño
Bello astro de pausados movimientos de tigre
Perezoso relámpago
Águila fija parpadeante
Cae pluma flecha engalanada cae
Da al fin la hora del encuentro
                  Reloj de Sangre
Piedra de toque de esta vida

¿Por qué, por qué tiene que ser así? Esto no es correcto, no para mí.
No quiero que me digan que pruebe el “Café de Costa Rica”, los “Bombones de Colombia”, las “Arepas de Venezuela”, las “Carnes de Argentina", las “Pastas italianas”, los “Tacos mexicanos”, la “Tortilla española”, la “Comida china” o la “Pizza con el ingrediente especial de Italia”. No quiero que me digan “Esto está hecho en China” ni “¡Wao! Esto no está hecho en China, está hecho en Taiwan”. No quiero que me digan “Mira este documental de África”, “Que hermosa se ve esa foto de la Torre Eiffel” o “Que alto debe estar ese edificio de New York”. No quiero que me cuenten cómo les fue en su viaje a Europa, su jornada en California o sus problemas mientras estuvieron en Canada. No quiero que me relaten las historias aprendidas durante su tiempo en Egipto o los bailes ensayados mientras estaban en Brasil. No quiero que hablen de su críticas respecto a la cutura de India, de Guyana o de Cuba. No quiero que me describan lo exquisita que estuvo la comida en Perú, en Australia o en República Dominicana. No quiero que me muestren la música de Jamaica o la de Rusia. No quiero que me digan  o me enseñen nada, nada más. Quiero yo poder probar los alimentos en su nacionalidad. Quiero sentir el aroma del café en las mañanas durante unas vacaciones en Costa Rica y probar ese toque especial que hace que la pizza en Italia sea diferente a la que acostumbramos a ordenar. Quiero ver cómo hacen los artefactos, estar en China y luego en Taiwan, tener esa experiencia de crear algo. Quiero visitar África y tomar mi propio documental, treparme en ese gigante edificio y apreciar la hermosa vista. Quiero ser yo la que cuente mi experiencia en las calles de Europa, California o Canada. Quiero aprender historias sobre Egipto y sus magníficas esculturas, incluso quiero aprender a darzar como lo hacen en Brasil y cada movimiento perfeccionar. Quiero dar las críticas sobre mis pensamientos hacia dichas culturas, pero con respeto. Quiero describir los suculentos platos y hacer que las personas se los imaginen, de tal manera que hasta en sus paladares puedan sentirlos. Quiero  escuchar la música de Jamaica y la de Rusia y si es en vivo, aún mejor, así podré meditarla e interpretarla. Puede sonar un poco alocado y para muchos sin sentido, pero para mí es más que un simple pensamiento o cualquier capricho, son sueños y metas que a diario me propongo. Para ello hay que trabajar duro, pero desde mi niñez me enseñaron que “el que quiere puede, solo hay que perseverar para triunfar”. Sé que algún día lo voy a alcanzar y todos se sorprenderán, cuando con orgullo les relate sobre lo que un día fue “un simple  deseo internacional ”.

To set a goal and be "class clown"
Is not something good, I'm stating
I was the one who wrote his words
I was the "class clown in waiting"

A yard stick and a winter toque
A voyaguer I now was
To inherit a new character
As I aged, became a loss

Was bullying  the reason for
Hiding behind a mask
Or was it something deeper
That made me take this task

A true class clown has no regrets
Of what they say or do
Their only goal is laughter
And that they'll get from you

Attention seeking misfits
Not in my book, there was no way
You couldn't be a misfit
And say what they would say

A true "class clown"'s an artist
Knowing when to make a scene
Knowing when a situation
Needs a lift, or at least a lean

Voices with strange accents
Silly faces set the stage
You get the class all laughing
While the teacher fumes with rage

Move on from the "class clown" name
And pursue it with a crowd
Do you really crave attention?
Do you want the laughter loud?

Or were you starved for some attention
Something you never got at home
Were you troubled as a child
Did it cause your mind to roam?

Were you deficient in your memory?
Couldn't handle work at school?
Or did you really crave the laughter?
Because on stage you could be cool

I envy people who were clowns
There were many in my life
To just be free with who they were
To dance upon the knife

I never was the top banana
I was always second, on the side
I always worked well as the set-up
But I came along and rode the ride

Me deje ir
Toque fondo
Y cuando estava ahi
Me di cuenta
Que estaba
Completamente sola
Era yo acompañada
Pero no de personas
Sino
De mis miedos
De dolor
De mentiras
Crei que talvez
Seria encontrada
Pero como?
Si yo
No estaba dispuesta a encontrarme
Asi
Que decidi buscarme
A buscar mi proposito
Y empezar a cultivarme
Para crecer
Para encontrar la paz
Decidi que tengo que ser crucial
Con lo que acepto
Y que me empezaria
A aceptar
Porque me quiero
Con lo bueno de mi
Pero sobre todo con lo malo
Porque lo de afuera
No es importante
Es solo un buque
El que carga mi alma
Todo es energia
Y esta bien ser selectivo
Con la energia que quieres a tu lado
Me reclamo a mi
Y a todo lo que me hace ser yo
Me acepto
Con mis inmensas ganas de amar
Con mi torpeza
Con lo sencible que soy
Con mi ojo mas pequeño
Con mis derrotas
Y mi mayor deseo
Es
Que tu tambien.

I do not know you, but I feel you are a very dear friend of mine...

I'm certain

In some time I have turned to address you.
Even shared my intimate thoughts...

But in this reality you are just a teenage girl wearing a black toque and a flowing coat
Stood silent and alone, waiting for the train.

Our worlds may never even intersect beyond this moment...
          May never share any consequent interest past this single interaction


But I'd like to believe in the future if our paths were to cross again that you would see me...

And when you did, you would simply know that we were once friends
.