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Prana Moonshine May 2015
Gently close the door before
Running away from the sangha of the gongs,
Running to the sangha of the forest.
Dualities, so extreme,
Oneness, so infinite.

I step more patiently now,
With the same wonder,
But with increased senses.
The senses feast on stimuli.
The senses fast on deprivation.
Yes the green is greener.

I return to the chakras,
The protection of the fox,
The fuzzy comfort of soft things.
To hear music, to bake bread,
To feel touch.

Now our distance is greater,
And it creates closeness.
Now the sadness of spaces
Creates refreshed longing.

I smile at the mystical and curious
May Apple Retreats.
The Big Tree, the threshold.
The portal, welcomes me,
Shelters me.

Practices breathing fully,

                            “LIVE LIFE,
                              LIVE LIFE”
At a Zen temple
I chanted
and blended in
with the Sangha
as though
we were all one being
with one voice,
so another time
I decided
to stand out
as an individual
and chant in my own way,
and then another time
I couldn't keep up
with the group singing
and was kind of
left out of it,
so the world is
one world
with one heart
and one love
as I just read
in another poem,
but this brings up
love and fear
as some think
about the human family
while others think about
One World Government,
and some think
about imagining one world
at peace
while others think about
Business Globalization,
so I think
this is life
and we should embrace
whatever comes
because whatever
will come
and I try
to approach
this one world
with fearlessness
and equanimity.
Hey Father Death, I'm flying home
Hey poor man, you're all alone
Hey old daddy, I know where I'm going

Father Death, Don't cry any more
Mama's there, underneath the floor
Brother Death, please mind the store

Old Aunty Death  Don't hide your bones
Old Uncle Death  I hear your groans
O Sister Death  how sweet your moans

O Children Deaths go breathe your breaths
Sobbing *******'ll ease your Deaths
Pain is gone, tears take the rest

Genius Death  your art is done
Lover Death  your body's gone
Father Death  I'm coming home

Guru Death your words are true
Teacher Death I do thank you
For inspiring me to sing this Blues

Buddha Death, I wake with you
Dharma Death, your mind is new
Sangha Death, we'll work it through

Suffering is what was born
Ignorance made me forlorn
Tearful truths I cannot scorn

Father Breath once more farewell
Birth you gave was no thing ill
My heart is still, as time will tell.

July 8, 1976 (Over Lake Michigan)
Green candle     on the altar
for the Buddha,      Dharma, Sangha

Flickering     the fire shines
golden light rays     on brown table

Candle glows     bought at hardware store
and on sale!     so that's life
Free sijo by Chris Everson - 2002   (companion poem to HEART HAIKU)
When I was really suffering
and I mean really suffering
I was lying in bed
like Brian Wilson
watching Pat ******* Robertson
and the ******* PTL Club
asking for help
from Jesus and God
and Buddha and Dharma
and Sangha and Shiva
and every other ******* god
or whatever there was or is
and they all
just made things worse
so do you know
what got me through it all
no, it wasn't the psychiatrists
or mom or dad
or brother or sister
or friends
or any of the above
all I had
to get me through
this ******* torture
my holy smokes
and now
tobacco is an endangered species
but I'm ready
with my pipe
and a lifetime supply
of tobacco
so bring on
the cigarette enemies
because I think
I'll have a smoke -
So at the bookstore
I talked to people
and realized later
that they were all there
for me
and that I was there
for them
and it filled me
with a great mind liberation
and a great love
so then
I realized
that everyone
is here for me
and that I am here
for everyone
who is here
and that's everyone
so I also realized
that evil people
are here
to test me
and that people
who just pass through
are here for me
and that people
who try to sell me stuff
are here for me,
so this
is my Sangha,
my family,
the one's I care about -
Matt  Aug 2014
The Saga Continues
Matt Aug 2014
I love the smell of incense
On the morning of Aug. 18, 2014

So what is this place
This place called earth
I'll work and work and work
Until my body breaks down

I'll probably always be alone
Maybe I like to be alone
Because it is all I have ever known

I am envious of beautiful women
Sometimes I wish I could have been a woman
I feel like I inhabit the wrong body at times
Oh what a joy
To experience the thrill of multiple *******
I imagine myself as a beautiful blonde
Riding my hot powerful black man

But those are just dreams
Wishful thinking
Better to accept the cold hard reality

Oh the emptiness of it all
Shunyata--Free from permanence
Neither permanent nor non-existing, and that is, ultimately, how things are

Lao Tzu says
"At the center of your being
You have the answer;
You know who you are
And you know what you want

I know who I am
I know I want to be a lifelong teacher
Beginning is so difficult
I hope I am able to start soon

Being a human being can be quite difficult

Future operations will use drone and robotic weapons whenever possible
Since human doubt in a rightful purpose in the mission
Is rapidly diminishing
The technocratic authoritarians diminish the sacred nature of life
With each New death system

It's all so terrible
The things people do to each other
Such a primitive race
Such a primitive race man is

And the young college kids are glued to their iPhones
I just wish more people had an appreciation for history
Of the human story

Buddham, saranam, gacchami
Dhammam, saranam, gachami
Sangham, saranam, gachami

I listen to these words as I write this poem

I go to the Buddha for refuge
I go to the Dhamma for refuge
I go to the Sangha for refuge

Please try to grasp the scope
Of what has gone on here on earth
We each write our own story

Please remember Colonel Glen Frazier
One day he suffered a severe cut on his hand
Which went to the bone
It was so cold and he was so emaciated
That the wound did not bleed
Some days later he was walking across the camp with his hands
In his pocket, to keep warm, and quickly found out
That this was against the rules
He was taken before a judge and sentenced to death,
But was saved by a miracle of God.

With a gun to his back and a saber to his throat,
His assassin asked Colonel Frazier if he had anything to say
Before his head was cut off

He was then given, as he recalled,
"A mouth and wisdom"
"You can **** me but not my spirit,"
He told the stunned Japanese soldier,
"And my spirit is going to lodge in your body
And haunt you for the rest of your life."

Buddham, saranam, gacchmmi
Dhammam, saranam, gacchami
Sangham, saranam, gacchami

You cannot **** my spirit
All those mean and nasty comments
He who must not be named
Has said to me
I hate you!

I do not ever want to see you again
My spirit cannot die

But the world is full of hate
And so as Colonel Frazier learned how the hate devoured him
He learned to forgive
I try so hard to forgive
But still so hard for me
Forgive but not forget!

Stone Buddha
Stone Faced Buddha
Impermanence of reality

Buddham, saranam, gacchami,
Dhammam, saranam, gacchami
Sangham, saranam, gachami

And what about the ego maniacs
The ego is a social construction

Anatman or non-self is the reality

The Upanishads sought to free individuals from ego-attachment
By pointing out that the real self
Is the Universal Self rather than the individual self,
The Buddha sought to free individuals from ego-attachment
By pointing out that there is no individual self
To which to become attached

No man is an island
There exists a certain mutual arising
Alan Watts says
We see how things kind of go together in a connected net, rather than as a Chain of billiard *****, banging each other around
The world is like a network of dew drops on a spider's web
And in each dew drop the reflection of that drop can be seen
And so we rely on each other

I live with one who does not live
Thirty years she has done nothing!
The degeneration of the American mind
Is what I have witnessed
Countless hours spent mesmerized
In front of the television

Wake Up!
A wise man would say before giving his lecture
You are all asleep and if you don't wake up
I won't give any lecture

Wake Up!
And still she sleeps
Her life away
Unable to face the challenge
How pathetic
Just to exist
And never to live
What a waste
Do something!
Don't just sit in front of Fox news
At 4 p.m. again
And talk to the dogs

Well, I've told many a tale by now
And still hope remains
That is all I ever had really

I know something of love
But not really much from human beings
And who is this Jesus anyway?
Well I love him I guess

I hope to feel love one day
And still
The drudgery continues
Work work work
For increasingly worthless American dollars!

I hope to be able to have my own small apartment
And work myself to death
Well, at least there is the incense to enjoy
And the occasional cigar

College graduate
And another 16 months after that
And still
I am going to the market
She has collected spare change
So I can put them through the machine
For a few lousy bucks

At least I have a good car
And a good diet
And a gym to work out in

One should be determined in this life
As I see my life unfold I come to understand
That maybe this is the most important quality

Though shall not fear
Sayeth the Lord!
Stop barking dogs

Buddham, saranam, gacchami
Dhammam, saranam, gacchami
Sangham, saranam, gacchami

Thank you to those
Who have liked my poems
And follow me

If one can call this poetry
I suppose it is like a stream of consciousness
I never did realize
How much I would enjoy this

Cries some

Will I ever leave this home?
Will my dreams ever come true?
I ask that you think of me
Off in internet land

Do you know I once closed
The Captains of Crush #2 gripper
Manufactured by Ironmind
Look it up, if you would like, it is a hard gripper to close

Do you know I used to bend and break the white and green nails?
Made by Ironmind for this purpose
The metal made hot by the pressure placed upon it
I bent it back and forth until it collapsed
I had to stop because it places too much stress on the hands over time

Do you know
Once did about 150 total pullups in one day
Up and up and up

What was I trying to prove anyway
I'm not sure
Sometimes we must test ourselves

Know thyself, and your limits!
One day the hard times may come
The tough and mean times
I will not live with fear in my heart!
preface: this isn't cohesive, and it's mostly a side effect of having too much free time while stuck in traffic - lots of thoughts can pop into your half-awake head when you choose to start your 1 hour, 45 minute commute at 5:30 every morning and 6:30 every night.

these are some of those thoughts:

how many car accidents and concussions will it take for me to just move closer to where i work? apparently, more than five.

driving on a california freeway, especially in the rain, is like getting a free ride on the world's most dangerous slip n slide. or like playing roulette and praying you and your precious car you have had since high school don't fall victim to the misfortune of a collision or sink hole or only clear radio station being the one that won't stop playing adele songs that compel you to hit up your ex boyfriend again.

but you're a smart driver who doesn't text on the road or date men from new jersey anymore.

i like to map out new ways to tell my family that i'm actually kind of really gay because they've been having a really hard time accepting that, despite the fact that i've tried to make it as blatantly obvious as i could by dressing like chandler bing from friends, dying my hair rainbow, and listening to more fleetwood mac than any straight girl should.

i have even walked up to my mother and outright asked her, "hey, what's it like having a gay daughter?" (not that it should be any different than having any other kind of daughter), and she said, "i don't have a gay daughter", and i'm like, "oh my god, mom. yes, you do. she's 5'8", looks just like me, and is constantly talking about how gay she is."

a lot of people have given me unwarranted "advice" on how to make myself more appealing for jobs or romance, and i'll mull it over in the car, but not for too long because women aren't empty suggestion boxes just waiting for your input.

if anything, i'm more like the receptionist at the DMV. i'm only listening to you a third of the time, and the other 2/3, i wish you weren't there to bore me with your problems because it's not my fault that you need to pay off a ticket you got for texting your ex boyfriend from jersey.

people in college frequently asked me "what are you?" and i never really knew how to respond because i wasn't clear or pleased about the question's context or purpose. i would half-seriously respond with "i'm a sophomore" or "i'm a capricorn" or "i'm a sociology major who just realized gender isn't binary and taco tuesdays are a real and exciting thing".

i knew that being ethnically ambiguous meant i would be subjected to guessing games, but i thought if people didn't know what you were, you could dodge judgment and racism. but no, i actually just found myself treated like an ice cream flavour people had never heard of or tried before and weren't sure how they felt about it.

and i, myself, had been in this phase of dating exclusively white men for years, and it only recently occurred to me that that was probably because subconsciously i knew: "this is the closest i'll ever be to having white privilege".

then, i started working in schools where almost all the students were black and brown, and for the first time in my life, i saw myself in people around me.

small people, people in progress, with big brown eyes and clenched fists that i would spend months prying open

with love.

enough love to raise a hand,
hold a pencil,
braid my hair on days when it was so frizzy
- "oh my god, miss sangha, let me do it"

up until then, i had never chosen to be brown or queer or a woman. not until my students demanded i learn spanish because i already got the skin tone, now i just need to learn the language. not until my students asked me why the school made them line up boy girl, and one of them started the third line with pride that took me nearly a decade to find myself. not until i stopped letting people label me an angry ***** just because they lacked the vocabulary to say "wow, jaswin, you have really assertive leadership skills and i'm going to respect you and the space you take up and not at all be threatened or bothered by the fact that you have two X chromosomes to the point of harassing you to make my insecure self feel better."

i became someone who got "do it for the kids" tattooed on the left side vein that leads to her heart, someone who chooses her students every day to the extent of being terrified of having her own kid one day because if she can love someone else's child that much, her heart might just burst from locking eyes with someone whose existence she is actually directly responsible for.

clearly, i'm not going to let a little traffic slow down that kind of radical love.
Nirvana you want
As God's grant
O those faces
Of relieved 'pupils'
After heavy days
Of an exam
Their minds not jammed
O have your thoughts crammed!
Buddha saw four sights
That caused him plight
Luxuries of palace
Couldn't prevent him
He took his flight
Into a world of light
Unknown as you might
In search of ultimate truth
Of this world's delight!
He was changed
Will you?
He formed a sangha
Oh not him
His pupils
So as we might
Remember something
From our book
Its heights!
Let's read and
Learn something
From around us
Let's form a sangha
For doing this
In this light!
Reading this
Caused you much plight
Like a plant afflicted
With blight?
I know it,right?
Some weirdness of thoughts!
Alexia Jul 2012
i'm full of inspiration for whatever reason.
And i feel like writing prose.
But my sentences keep getting shorter
and my thoughts keep getting longer
but they can't seem to string themselves together.

It's early evening in the mountains somewhere
and i don't know where,
but i'm sure you're there.
thinking something wise,
being everything you are
with everything you've got.

i think i miss you.

but i'm not sure
and i don't know how.
because i don't even know you.

maybe because when i look in the mirror,
i see you.

i know this is about more than just me,
but the sangha insists i tell my story:
I was just a little girl when I realized
that, truth be told,
we're more than just bodies.

we're bigger, we're wiser
it's all so much more surreal.
To suggest
that all I know is what I've lived,
it seems ridiculous.

I feel older.

It shouldn't be a surprise
that of all these years,
a peace has been made
that people are starting to tap into.

Finally, I've found my beliefs;
and it's peaceful.
Kashyapi Mar 2016
falling blossoms
at the master’s feet
the sangha

— The End —