how does one go about expressing their love to a girl?
I've never felt like this about a girl, before
but everything - my heart, pounding and vulnerable and so impossibly fragile - now seems to depend on
her.
her laughter is like the colour yellow
and it turns my vision hazy every time
the expression she wears is innocent and unassuming
but those hazel eyes are white-hot fire
she's got this rosewood hair that floats around her, ethereal,
her hands are gentle, delicate
her heart is so full of love
her arms, filled with kidness
she turns the blood in my veins to crackling flames.
look at her mouth.
what can I say. how can I vocalize this kind of want. this kind of hunger.



I'd never tell. no, I'd never say a word.

If you would like to feel happiness
You must chase the sadness
And spread the smile overall faces

There are always places
To everyone to live and get wishes
Respect yourself by respecting the others
God will give you your demands

The earth is our mother
Her heart is so better
She plants mercy everywhere
Her fruits are kinder

Her plants are welfare
We must cooperate and not go far
the time will bow
the rain will do
and greeted you

with green leaves and rainbow
the shadow of lights will grow
to draw your shape to go
your image be known at  all

The oceans of snowdrifts
have laid at his porch
for a sleep.
He gives them a blanket
made from his kidness's feathears.
He believes
inside them
must be hidden somebody's heart.

18.02.2015

I met a nice lady


I met a nice lady
at the new plase
where I am admitted.
She was older then me
but in her eyes I could see
the glimpse and kidness
and spirit full of life.
We sat together late at night
and it was cold outside
but we talked for houers
we share our life stories.
Mishaps and difficult moments
wich left its mark in bouth of us.
I liked her from the first time
I felt it was something
in common between us.
Bouth of us had experienced
a lots of pain
but she gave me a little hope
to keep and hold the small
joys in life
and never give up
was her advice

to be kind?
                                                           nice words?
compliments
that travel as far as you **** them?
how about you tell  people what you think,
i mean, really, really think...
you can't be more kinder than telling strangers
what you're thinking on the odd chance,
that you can morph
the ethereal presence of thinking
that materialists argue is no basis for a soul...
into medium of shared
experience that, can, somehow,
compenstate itself to state: well...
it's unreal... but it's sure as hell,
******* possible. the heart knows no kidness,
whatever kidness that could ever
and will always exist, is writing a sketch of you
thinking narrative and feeling not fear for having
thrown it out, to the "wind" of a blank page...
       if that's not what you
realise... then i'd invest in canvases,
a studio, paint brushes, oil paints... and a gay lover;
because the art of poetry? is going, to, hurt, like, hell.
for some only god spoke,
        and for others, man spoke over god,
and for others man's origins as the onomatopoeia
of comprehensible wordings trapped and then untangled
from a monkey...
          well... like i said...          at least philosophy
balances on systems... on geometry...
               poetry?      a chance conversation with
a stranger...
               i already said it's hell...
                    do i have to add: please don't, cutie pie?

2015
christmas eve
The day we met

I immediately fell in love
in love with your sparkling blue eyes
your straight blonde hair
your beautiful hands

March
2015

we kiss
it felt like all I ever wanted
I loved you more than anything else

It were those little things that made us so special
the way I always waved you goodbye
every day when you left

I remember the one time I didn´t
It felt like my heart was being torn apart
I run outside
not wearing shoes or socks
but I just couldn´t let you go
without telling you
I love you

I screamed your name
and jumped into your arms
it was the way you swang me around
in the dark
that made me love you

It was the way we layed on the playground
in the nighttime
just the two of us
looking into the sky
you holding me close
inside your arms
that made me love you

It was the way you stopped
in the middel of the sidewalk
to go back holding the door open for a pizza men
that made me love you

It was the way you always looked at me
right after we kissed
right before you told me
told me you loved me
the sparkle in your eyes
the kidness
that made me love you

February
2016
we broke up

January
2018
Birthday party
I arrive
You were already there

I still remember the tasted of your kiss
nicotine and beer
and we kissed
all night long

March
2018
we hug
and tell each other
that we love the other one
but it isn´t the right time

you go
and once more
I wave goodbye as you leave
but this time
you do not turn around.

I shall be remembered not by success and accomplishment
but by the kidness I gave to others.
I shall be recalled by my brightest laugh,
  the dimples of my cheeks
As a steady shoulder to my friends,
  an open ear to their stories.

But first things first
If you can do it, I too
can live.

Will we be angels too
When the heavens are emtpy
Crossroads of empty streets
Will not bear
The body of Nazareth
We remember our shame
As children
Like nothing else
What do we hold
In common with monsters
Will we ever covet
The exhibition of kidness
Not only the reception of it
Are you willing
To be an imperfect
Example of compassion
While whole human
And partly humble

I'm leaving for a while

left with the wind, just like that
Hopefully it won't affect your smile
not to much at least, well maybe a little.
Hopefully without me you'll still have a shoulder to lean on
just don't forget me and, you know, have to much fun on your own
while I'm gone.

While I'm gone to see
how the rain falls on the other side
how the light breaks in waterfalls
how the jungle sounds, all the oceans smell when the sun is shining a little to bright
How the desert sand feels running through my hands
running away like the time we had together.

How many ways are there up the mountain,
to make me feel alive again?
The view from the peak as my reward

To go where the earth, water and sky meet, become one
for me to walk on
Where hills become rainbows for me to climb
Take the same steps, same roads as the people of the past
civilizations long gone
I wish we could share it ,
all the spices o the world on the tip of my tounge

I'm looking for peace, for kidness, for love
Let's find out if life is really worth living,
let's see if I can find it, my way of life
tucked away, hidden in a treasure trove

Not only to witness but to experience it,
first hand, for a change
Be part of a story
add lines to the lyrics of their songs
Instead of just being part of the audience,
the reader turning page after page
Take the plunge and see where it leads me,
what else is in my range?

I wish getting there would be a little gentler tho,
I could use a little bravery and courage before the scary part.

I hope when I make it back we'll still be the same,
although we all will have changed of course
I know nothing lasts for ever, we will lose each other eventually,
but
I'm not quite ready to accept that yet
and I hope I never will be.
Some things are just to good not to hurt in the end.

I miss my time with you already
it still tastes bitter to just leave like that
I can't wait to see you again
spend time like we used to, remember?
Talk to you soon in different times my friend.