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scooby  Nov 2017
Put a Poem Here Fuckface!
scooby Nov 2017
Put a Poem Here *******!
Put a poem here *******!
Even if you don't know what that **** is
(it's a collection of words, organized
and broken into
lines

and stanzas
like this!)
Put a poem here *******!
Even if you don't know how to type!
(you take your finger,
assuming you have one
and if not
that's ok
use whatever you prefer,
and press down on one
of those little squares
you know,
the ones with the
letters on em)

Put a poem here *******!
Even if you don't know any white man poets,
dead or alive!
(You don't need em,
you could read em
on the account of background
and cultural appreciation,
but you,
you're enough)

Put a poem here *******!
Even if you don't think you're good enough!
(You are, ******,
and I am the president of poetry saying
it is true,
but ultimately you will,
grow to be your own champion,
maybe not now,
but I can tell you how)

Put a poem here *******!
Even if you don't know how to be your own champion!
(You'll become one by
putting a poem here *******!)

So, put a poem here *******!
Go! Go! Go!
sorry 4 the swears, if you are under twelve don't show this to your mom!
#poetry #writing #art #creating #elitism #academia #how #to #swearing
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Naunie Baltzell  Dec 2015
I'm Going to Hell for This
Naunie Baltzell Dec 2015
I'm Going to Hell for This
Just because I'm an atheist,
doesn't mean I lack morality.
In fact, my morality
is what I pride myself on.
I have this strong urgency
to love everyone
because I refuse to listen to
the God of discrimination.
I certainly don't need a book
that condones ****, slavery,
misogyny, and genocide
to teach me right from wrong.

Just because I'm an atheist,
doesn't mean my life has no meaning
It just means I have
the freedom to choose my own.
I have value
because I know how
to be a giving person
without having to be tempted
with eternal bliss.
If you're only being helpful
to others due to a promised reward,
does it not cease to
be a good deed?

Just because I'm an atheist,
doesn't mean I have no one
to look up to.
God doesn't create us,
women do.
And why the hell
can't I praise a goddess?
We are creating misogyny
young, claiming that
little girls are always to
put a him first,
instead of themselves.

Just because I'm an atheist,
doesn't mean I hate God.
It's impossible that which
you do not believe exists.
And I desperately don't want
him to exist, because if he does,
then that means he doesn't care,
that he's okay with
watching me suffer.
I don't need any more
people letting me down.

Just because I'm an atheist,
doesn't mean I worship the devil.
It's impossible to worship
that which you do not
believe exists.
But if he did exist,
then I would embrace him
at hells entrance -
tell him I too know what it's like
to be turned into something evil.
Thank him for taking all
the rejected souls that God
turned away without a second glance
Remind him that losing
something good can win you
something great.

Just because I'm an atheist,
doesn't mean I think
Billy Graham is a *******.
No, I actually do
think Billy Graham is a *******.
Anyone who has the audacity
to claim God wanted
marriage to be between
a man and a woman,
when marriage was constructed
long before Christianity was,
doesn't deserve to be
preaching to our children.
This is indoctrination
of the worst kind.

Just because I'm an atheist,
doesn't mean I hate religious people,
only what they preach.
I'm tired of people blanketing
their bigotry with
"religious freedom"
and getting away with it.
If you build a fire
to warm yourself,
and end up burning down
someone's home,
your warmth doesn't bring
their house back.
And it doesn't let you off
the hook for accountability....
Unless you're a Christian
because America was founded
on Christian morals, right?
***** John Adams who says
"The Government of the
United States of America
is not in any sense founded on
the Christian religion."
Or Thomas Jefferson
who encourages you to
"Question with boldness
even the existence of a god."
Or James Madison who once said
"Christianity's fruits are
superstition, bigotry,
and persecution."
But what do the
founding fathers know anyway?
This nation was created only
for those deemed worthy,
those who never realize
they have the right to
think for themselves.

Just because I'm an atheist,
doesn't mean I have all the answers.
But neither do you.
#atheism #secularviews
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JM  Oct 2013
Have fun, fuckface
JM Oct 2013
Have fun, *******
Crawl to me, darling.
Elbows and knees, hardwood floors.
Sounds of submission.
Continue reading...
Glenn McCrary  May 2012
Fuckface
Glenn McCrary May 2012
*******
I tread in diverse masks

Sheathed by barricades of fear

You shan’t gain answers shall you ask

I tread in diverse masks

Sip of pessimism from a flask

‘Tis the only sound I hear

I tread in diverse masks

Sheathed by barricades of fear
Continue reading...
Tony Novak  Sep 2013
Letter
Tony Novak Sep 2013
Letter
Hello
this is a short message
written this Sunday morning
on March the first

the rain keeps coming from the west
non-stop for two days
risk of flooding
government says.

I miss you - had another dream
driving in sunshine.
It's the sun I miss
mostly - and then of course
there is your friendship
to treasure and to hold.

I hope you're having fun
on your quad.
They say four wheels
are better than two
I'm not so sure
how could you
have Zen and the art of
quad biking -
impossible?

I see you have given in
to peer pressure or whatever
and made your modest entry
in the ******* book
I had a quick look.
It looks
OK.

Now I suppose Twitter
and MySpace
where you can compose
even wittier
sayings.

You're a true master
of Wisdom
with a capital W
But it is not that
you struggle to say something
wise
it comes spontaneously
best when blurted out
immediate response
like:
"they throw babies in dumpsters
in your country too, Janet?"

She'd never forgotten it
as it
was such a strange and powerful thing to say

by the way
I googled your name
and you have loads of coverage
mostly under AHEC and Best.

This is just a few short lines
to say you are on my mind
and in my heart
as always
yours
me.
Continue reading...
mike dm  Feb 2016
a prosaic and utterly prolix rant that will change your life
mike dm Feb 2016
a prosaic and utterly prolix rant that will change your life
I would humbly put forth the idea, quite prostrate, that it would do us some good if we were to put aside, for a time, our epistemological certainties and archetypal savior fixations and, instead, opt for a more robust, ocher-hued ontological preeminence: putting the what before the why.

Only then can one, say, sip hot herbal tea from an old pink bone china teacup and, without thinking about all the things all the time, for once -just- feel the sun's warmth on your aged face as it begins its set over a half-eaten cotton candy sky that is epic af and reminds you of Peter Pan and then Robin Williams and then whywhywhy and then something random and weirrrd, and, in doing so, you can watch the lack of shittogetherness, of which duly occupies the very seat of your character like a bully usurper that hits you bc "he loves you," melt into a very (very) temporary oblivion and revel in what is before you without feeling paralyzing angst that is, usually, soo angst-y that you gotta pronounce that **** in German as if you were Schopenhauerly sitting at some non-descript desk in some non-descript room with your hand stroking your truly descript crazygeniusguy hair that is some kind of proto-Wolverine hairdo (and you wonder if Stan Lee was cryptically tipping his cap to S's philosophical pessimism with this peculiar gesture; consider googling it but don't because you've already googled too much sheeyt today), thinking (or brooding) about how much of a ******* Descartes is with his whole, yuhknow, theory about some ******* secret nanoputian angelic chemist that sits at the pearly gates of the Pineal Gland and performs the sacred transduction of the divine ghost, or whatever. Otherwise you are, like, consumed with analysis, which is a complete ******* bore and - let's face it - a thoroughly transparent attempt to sound smarter than you actually are.

This herbal tea I'm currently drinking has "rose hips" in it. Dear botany, that image is fun.
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Viseract  May 2016
A Lifetime of Fuckwits
Viseract May 2016
A Lifetime of Fuckwits
This isn't a new story;
In fact it's quite old
I may have mentioned it before
But now this story must be told

All through my Primary years
All I had was sweat and tears
I had no friends and too many fears
I couldn't even trust my peers

I kept my secrets hidden deep;
They began to devour me
I tried to talk to somebody,
Please oh please, anybody!

I had begun to play yard games with kids
Who weren't really my friends
They used and abused me every day
Until I felt like it was the end

I blurted it out to them
"Stop this, I can't take it!
I have Aspergers, *******,
Do you know how I deal with it?"

They didn't know how I did it
They were absolutely speechless
Now I regret saying it
Till then it was only known by teachers

My simple reply
To the question I posed them
"I don't"
And a new level of bullying began

Now "******" actually meant something
"*******" was introduced
I regret ever opening my mouth
And helping these new taunts be produced!

Had to move schools because we were moving house
My first term in new uniform, new school and different people
I had hoped that moving would get me friends and less enemies
But no matter where you go, it seems, people are still evil!

I had a crush on a girl that year
And she was always taken
She swapped boyfriends so fast they called her a ****
If I'm not mistaken

I wrote her letters, I was too shy to talk
And the best bit? She wrote back
I kept her letters to this very day
But I did not know she would betray!

She showed my letters to some guys
These guys who used to tease me
I only found out through a friend
When he said he'd seen the pieces

She'd scattered them at the school pond
I found a piece hidden in the grass
It dawned on me that all her beauty
Hid a ******* *******!

She knew I went down to the pond
I ******* SAID SO, IN MY LETTERS!
She didn't feel guilty then
I thought that she was better!

That friend who told me, by the way
I made halfway through the year
He is and was an absolute legend,
Is my friend Pal Tear

Moving on to Year 8
New Year, New Me, right?
******* hell it wasn't
First term, and already in a fight!

Betrayed again by someone who
I had the trust to call a friend
Trusting others is one of my flaws
So I get stabbed again and again

Year 9 comes around
People look but do not speak
There is no reason to diss me
I'm no longer shy, submissive and weak

Instead they **** my anger
As I found out in Year 10
Thought the torture was over
That it wouldn't happen again!

Food scraps thrown at me
Names called from afar
I pretend I just don't care
But it's all a great big façade

I started to ponder
The sharpness of blades
And how easy it would be to cut myself
And try and replace the pain

For a pain I could tolerate
That in good time I would love
The blade would be my bestest friend
When I'd had enough

And so it came to be
For I got set in bad ways
These old habits die rather slowly
I've been trying, for so many days

I made a promise to a girl
A girl I loved, now all is neutral
That I would try not to cut
That a blade is, by far, more than that kind of useful

I'm still trying to stop
To this very day
But although I do it very little
I still get by with my wicked ways
...
#life #time #school #bully #primary #secondary #fuckwits
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Mike Essig  Sep 2015
Manners
Mike Essig Sep 2015
Manners
by Kim Addonizio*

Address older people as Sir or Ma’am

unless they drift slowly into your lane

as you aim for the exit ramp.

Don’t call anyone *******, *******, or *******;

these terms are reserved for ex-boyfriends

or anyone you once let get past second base

and later wished would be ****** into a sinkhole.

Yelling obscenities at the TV is okay,

as long as sports are clearly visible on the screen,

but it’s rude to mutter at the cleaning products in Safeway.

Also rude: mentioning ****** functions.

Therefore, sentiments such as “I went ***** to the wall for her”

or “I have to **** like a chick with a pelvic disorder at a kegger contest”

are best left unexpressed.

Don’t’ say “chick,” which is demeaning

to the billions of sentient creatures

jammed in sheds, miserably pecking for millet.

Don’t talk about yourself. Ask questions

of others in order to show your interest.

How do you like my poem so far?

Do you think I’m pretty?

What would you give up to make me happy?

Don’t open your raincoat to display your nakedness.

Fondling a ***** in public

is problematic, though Botero’s black sculpture

of a fat man in the Time-Warner building

in New York, his ***-*** rubbed gold,

seems to be an exception.

Please lie to me about your *******

and the permafrost layer.

Stay in bed on bad hair days.

When the pulley of your childhood

unwinds the laundry line of your dysfunction,

here is a list of items to shove deep in the dryer:

disturbed brother’s T-shirt,

depressed mother’s socks and tennis racket,

tie worn by ****** father driving the kids home

from McDonald’s Raw Bar. If you refuse

your host’s offer of alcohol, it is best to say,

“I’m so hung over, the very thought of drinking

makes me feel like projectile vomiting,”

or, “No thank you, it interferes with my medications.”

Hold your liquor whenever it is fearful

and lonely, whenever it needs your love.

Don’t interrupt me when I’m battering.

Divorce your cell phone in a romantic restaurant.

Here is an example

of a proper thank-you card:

Thank you for not sharing with me

the extrusions of your vague creative impulse.

Thank you for not believing those lies

everyone spreads about me, and for opening

the door to the next terrifying moment,

and thank you especially for not opening your mouth

while I’m trying to digest my roast chicken.
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Lee  Jan 2013
Double Dobber Madness
Lee Jan 2013
Double Dobber Madness
How exactly does one find themselves in said situation
you didn't say anything about the situation yet
in description,
indisputably
incredible
incredible?
Not in any sense of tradition
Not in any sense that could bring sparkle and innocence to the surface of a child's eyes
Not in any sense immediately apparent to the unobservant man
cut to it *******
Clouds run think in the room
and with ink head to toe
and horns
and swazzies
and clantag black across the chest
and yellowed smokers teeth
golden oils burst hot in desperate lungs.
Relief.
Relief is what they name her
as her remnants drift from grateful mouths
as pale white and soulful as snow in reverse.
What's going on then?
They play a game.
They call it twenty five for missed medicine.
They say if the bell breathes smoke
on calls break the weak,
They hackle happily in a giggling choke.
But I could never participate in these things.
Is it a lack of courage, an overabundance of cowardice?
Its a lack of many things:
lacking history
or will
or wisdom
or faith
or a gut cold and steely enough to handle regurgitation
of my own lungs.
Not many do handle.
As is seen,
when a queen splatters palaces
with spigukums
liquid lowered expectations
only now could they take her seriously.
Do you?
I knew that fate from the start
and that's why I depart
to a cold blue board box
Roll, lick, pack, and light
delight
then again;
Who's to say I didn't enjoy it just as much as they did?
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Gaffer  Jan 2017
2017
Gaffer Jan 2017
2017
Now is the time for a long term relationship.
I declare my intentions online
Tazmin comes through. She’s just come out of a ten year relationship.
She could be the one.
Okay, she’s just come out of prison after ten years. Caught the boyfriend cheating on her.
Okay Tazmin, get back to you.
Right, Chantelle has split from her long time lover Rosie. She wants to try something new. But i need to get a *** change.
Don’t know if that’s lesbian humour or not.
Message from Candy. Get a life *******.
I just know she’s the one. But i’m not lowering myself to that level just yet.
Tina. ******* hate men.
You don’t know me Tina.
You’re a man, that’s enough.
Any sensible women out there.
Madge, I’m 84 looking for a relationship. My last lover died on the job.
Madge. For fucksakes take up knitting.
Listen up you lot, it’s not my problem  you can’t keep your men, or women.
Okay maybe shouldn’t have said that.
You *******. Followed by, I’ll stick they knitting needles where the sun don’t shine. I’ll do another ten years for you.  Oh, and. ****** tossing *******.
What the hell happened to the gentle ***.
This was not how I expected things to turn out.
Let's get back to basics
Any of you lot want to go out tonight and get ******, have unprotected ***. I’m paying.
Computer’s going nuts now.
I’m in.  You’re the man. Why didn’t you just say that the first time.
*******, can I bring a friend.
Happy birthday Paul.
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— The End —