I dread the day I accept loss.
I dread the day I can sleep without crying.
my eyes and heart have gotten used to months of tears.
Each one a reminder of you.
I dread the day I don’t drive past the little church.
By the school on the hill.
I dread the day I forget.

My blanket of sadness and guilt
has become a familiar comfort;
tear stained memories, a broken heart
are better than none of you.
I dread the day I forget.

I dread the day I can’t remember
the curls in your hair.
That nike jacket you’d religiously wear,
The small details
I can attempt to capture with my poems
but
nothing about you was simple enough
to describe with a pen and paper .
I dread the day I let go.
I dread opening a new page.