Daisy Duke Danica Patrick dialogue

DANICA this is preposterous and an embarrassment to my career image

DAISY oh yeah ya think so

DANICA 1st off you’re simply a fictional character i’m a real live racecar driver 2nd you’re a hillbilly ***** who most likely had *** with both cousins Bo and Luke behind Uncle Jesse’s barn

DAISY who you calling a ***** you venomous ***** i did not have ****** relations with those boys (pause gaze averted)

DANICA bare-foot traipsing around Hazzard County dressed like a rural Dixie belle acting all ingénue

DAISY you ain’t got no manners woman were you raised in the south

DANICA Beloit Wisconsin then Roscoe Illinois for your bird-brained information

DAISY ya know in a vague way you owe me

DANICA owe you what you Appalachian Deliverance banjo ****

DAISY i was laying down rubber pedal to the metal gravel dust road in my ’74 yellow Plymouth Road Runner before you was ever born

DANICA what’s that supposed to mean granny i thought you drove a Jeep CJ-7

DAISY it means my fictional character put a seed in the mind’s eye i planted the thought of a female warrior on the racetrack you understand i trail blazed through Georgia back country all you are is just a graduated knock-off of me

DANICA you tawny scrawny pigeon-toed knock-kneed backwoods ****** wouldn’t know your *** from a hole in the ground behind the steering wheel of a Dallara chassis Honda engine open-wheel racecar and if you think i owe you then you must think i owe Janet Guthrie Lyn St. James Sarah Fisher also ***** you ***** *** rebel *****

DAISY girl you got a mouth on you bet you know how to use it in the dark i bet that’s how you got to where you are i know about those FMH pictures

DANICA what i beg your pardon i earned my stripes on the racetrack

DAISY on your knees with your mouth in the shape of 0

DANICA white trash redneck witch! i hate you

DAISY now Danica calm down remember to breath and remember i’m just a fictional character didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers so bad

DANICA all right ok maybe i was a little too hasty to judge and maybe we did just get off on the wrong foot you know Godaddy is looking for someone vintage yet lovely enduring like you

DAISY you’re sweet Danica but my acting days are done i think you look real pretty in electric lime green good luck at NASCAR but i think you do better at Indy that’s just my opinion

DANICA you just might be right Daisy i’m too independent can’t seem to get the hang of you bootlegging draft-racing good ole boys

DAISY amen

by Arcassin Burnham


Daisy,
im falling in love with you,
Daisy,
follow the land of virtue,

Daisy,
looking to have a child,
Daisy,
i have not been here awhile,

if we go insane together in pain,
jesus will thank for shouting his name,

Daisy,
give me a moment to breathe,
Daisy,
why dont you want me to leave,

Daisy,
maybe we could sang a song,
Daisy,
we all could get along,

if we make this last forever in time,
look no forward as the sun shines,

Daisy.

Daisy Chain

Untie the ribbons from her hair
then watch them float down to the floor
She’s stood in front of the window
Her back towards me just for show
and as I peeled off her dress
let her soft skin feel my breath
My hands roll across her pale breast
her back faulters against my chest
But something doesn’t feel right
Her head bowed down, her eyes shut tight
It’s like she’s here but no she’s not
Or maybe she is but I am not
I buy her lots of fancy clothes
Like these beneath our naked toes
I roll my fingers across her skin
Then watch her as she pulls away

And sometimes, in the mornings
When she thinks I sleep
She ups and takes her leave
She opens up her drawers, and in her nakedness
Pulls a daisy chain, and puts it on her neck
then, in the darkness of our room
My beauty falls to her frail knees and cries
With that daisy chain

But I could give you things, that you never had, anything you want
I could buy you jewels to put around your neck over that daisy chain
You want a car, I could buy a car and give it all to you
I’d give you anything I could be your king if you would be my queen
Oh, will you be my queen?

Give you my hand but you turn it away
I give you my jewels and with that smile that you fake
You wear ruby’s and diamonds but can’t hide your pain
For your only true smile is for that daisy chain
And then in the evenings you lay in our bed
And I wish I could see what’s inside that head
When you make love to me, but no love was made
As you only have love for the daisy chain
But if you would just let me in, I could be your king!
Every lover has a past, the longest of summers never last

She looked outside her window
And saw the boy from down the road
Whose family lived outside the law
But she had history with him and of him she was sure
She put her best summer dress on
And from the window to the lawn
Where hand in hand they both ran
Through the wild city streets,
Her ribbons flowing at her feet
Then she stopped him in her tracks
and told the boy about the man
To who she was promised too,
he was older than her but had diamonds and jewels
but before she finished he kissed hand
and said he’d figure something out
as he made his first love to her
beneath the hanging trees in the dirt
and when they were done they stood hand in hand
facing each other on this one-night romance he sighed
I really don’t have a lot to give
I don’t have money like him, but I know how to live
But I got these 2 hands and there’s things I can make
And he bent down then pulled up a daisy chain
As he placed it on top of her naked skin
She held it so tight it almost sunk within her
Then stared at each other and both looked sad
Because both of them knew that long summers don’t last
One day I will be rich, and I’ll come and get you
Keep this daisy chain, and watch for me from your room

And so, in the mornings
When i thinks he sleeps
I up and take my leave
open up my drawers, and in my nakedness
Pull his daisy chain, and put it on my neck
then, in the darkness of our room
I fall to my frail knees and cry
Waiting for him,
With his daisy chain

She gave me a daisy with a smile, so much care
to not let these frail peteals fall.

"Daddy dearest I give you this as a token of
what I see in you,

"In me my little petal, what do you mean so,

She smiled and ran off into the garden a chain
of daisies was her creation on the table little hands
did do there magic and after what was a long time
two little hands and a curious mind created magic
in her eyes.

"Daddy you have the daisy still,

She smiles seeing that her daddy had kept the little
flower safe from harm not crushed or lost.
No it was in pride of place in her daddies shirt pocket
pocking gently out of the tiny button hole.

"Of course you gave it me my little daisy,

Her father picks her up and gently rocks her back and
forth. Her eyes wonder around the surrounding till
they close like curtains on the world. Hours pass and
she awakens to see her daddy cuddling her fast asleep.

"Daddy wakey wakey, rise and shine sleepy head,

He slowly awakens to rising arms and a almighty
yawn, She sneakily tickles his underarm and he lets
out a half yawn half giggling laugh.

"Cheeky little madam,

Laughter ensues while her dad chases her around the room.

"Petal what did you mean when you said you see me
in the daisy every day?

She smiles and holds her daddies hand placing another
daisy in his hand, composing herself she explains.

"Daddy each petal is a the amount of times you make me
smile each day, and the centre is the love I see in your
heart everyday,

"So this one is the all the smiles I have made you see?

Looking at her daddy she smiles.

"See daddy that's another petal you have given me,

"This one daisy is just the smiles that have blossomed
today since we woke up and laughter made more,

She jumps off her daddies lap and runs off into the
garden, daddy sits there a tear slowly falls down his
face she had made him happy with tears.

Calling him into the garden, telling him to close his
eyes as she steers him where she needs him to be.

"Sit down daddy please,

He sits down slowly so not to embarrass himself by
falling off the chair before he had even sat down.
Sitting she says  "No peeking daddy its a surprise.

Eyes tightly shut hand over so no peeking can spoil
a little petals surprise that awaits her daddies eyes.

"Open up daddy this is what I made for you,

He opens his eyes and see a daisy chain that she worked
so ******* before. "What's this my petal,
She smiles from ear to ear as she ever so gently puts this
piece of work over her daddies head, it hangs so delicately
on his shoulders and then she tells him what it means.

"Daddy everyday I give you a daisy,
"This chain represents all the smiles and love that you have
given me every moment of ever day and this is just a symbol
of how many times you have done that this week,

He smiles and starts to cry,  "Its ok daddy boys can cry too,
Hugging her he tells her that he is so happy and cant believe
what a beautiful little petal he has got in his life.

"Today petal gave me a daisy with a smile, and I cried,

She is my the little lady in my life, my daughter makes me
proud to be a father each and every day my petal..

As she was looking through photos, somebody sat next to her. “Hi! My name is Daisy Willows. I'm new to Trinity Academy! What’s your name?”, she asked in an optimistic voice. “Dimere Invictus Elovar'', Addison muttered to herself. She vanishes, leaving Daisy shocked. “Um...hello? You there? Well, it was nice to meet you Dimere'', Daisy looked at the ground. “She thinks my name is Dimere. Should I tell her? Fine”, Addison thought. She re-appeared and turned to Daisy. “Actually, my name is Addison.” Daisy let out a little gasp. “Woah! How did you do that, Addison?”, Daisy said in awe. “It was just a basic invisibility spell. My aunt taught it to me when I was 8”, Addison replied.  “Wow! You were able to do cool spells like that when you were only 8?!”, Daisy said. “I could barely make a seed sprout when I was 8”.
“Making a seed sprout? Let me guess, you’re in the plant magic track?”, Addison asked.
“Actually, I'm in the plant magic track AND animal keeping”, Daisy said proudly. “What track are you in?”, she asked. “I-um...I’m actually not in one yet.”, Addison said nervously. “How? Didn’t you go to orientation?”, Daisy asked, puzzled. “Well, the thing is…I don't have a primary magic element.”, Addison replied. “Huh? How do you-.”, Daisy started but was interrupted by the arrival of the bus.  

Addison got onto the bus. “Aren’t you going to get on?”, she asked Daisy.  “No, I take my bike. It's better for the planet.”, Daisy said, getting on her bike. “Are you sure yo-”. Addison was cut off by the goblin driving the bus. “Hate to interrupt this RIVETING conversation, but can you just SIT DOWN!”, he grumbled sarcastically. “Okay, okay. Jeez. No need to pop a wart over it.”, Addison said to herself as she sat in the back of the bus. The bus creaked forward, then stopped. “C’mon you hunk of junk!”, the goblin growled as he hit the dashboard. The bus engine rumbled then roared. The bus took off into the sky, wobbling around as if it was walking on a tightrope.

Addison looked out the window to the town. She almost jumped out of her seat when she heard a woman scream for help. She stuck her head out the window and looked below. A man had grabbed her purse and was trying to push her away into the road. Without thinking, Addison said “Spiritus Dei Omniso!” and teleported right in front of the man. “If you know what’s good for you, you would run.”,  she said to the man. “Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do if I don't?”, he snickered. “Ok. You asked for it.”, Addison replied. “Fainfol Istium”, she said. “How is that gibberish going to scare me?”, he said. Addison touched his shoulder and he fell to the ground. “Oh I'm sorry, did you want a pillow?”, She said in a smug voice. She handed the purse to the woman. “Is he...” she stuttered. “Oh no, he's only sleeping. By the time he wakes up, he’ll be greeted by his new cell-mate.”, Addison said. She waved goodbye as she said “Omniso Dei Spriritis!”, and teleported back into her seat. “Well, that was fun.”, she thought.

The mirror tells me
There is still a flower
Stuck in my hair.
The aftermath
Of today's
Daisy chain mood.

The mirror was only
Trying to be kind
But sent me into
My own
Personal
Brand of rain.

I couldn't find a soul
That would comfort me
Only the rotting daisy
That is not
A daisy
Staring back through the glass.

Daisy chains are past
Long, lush, British grass
And longer, lonely breaks.
I wasn't sad,
I was content
In my own dream world.

Daisy chains are future
Hands linked in hands
Making chains together
Hoping they'll
Last forever
These are my dreams.

But daisy chains
Are also now
The single daisy
That is not
A daisy
Rotting in my hair.

On my walk to the red post box today
A daisy, was sticking up, in a most unusual way
I went to take a closer look, a bit amazed
To see one in November, and in such cold days
When much to my surprise, it spoke to me
When i say spoke, it shouted loudly
"Don't you dare pick me up, i know your sort!"
"You'll turn me into a chain, or something of that sort!"
I was much taken aback, at being shouted at by a flower
Funny time to be daydreaming, at this particular hour
But felt a little guilty, as for a small lark
Last Spring, i'd made some Daisy chains in a park
I also wondered, that a daisy can talk
Maybe it could read my mind, as i walk
So as a way to give it some reassurance
And to let it know, there's no need for life insurance
I said "how can anyone make a chain, with only one Daisy?"
The Daisy pondered this, and looked a bit hazy
At this point, a neighbour walked past
Upon seeing me talk to a verge, a strange look was cast
With a certain amount of panic, and distress
I said "Prince Charles talks to flowers!" to try and readdress
She looked at me again, and increased her pace
At which point the Daisy laughed, at the look on her face
I joined in too, as i could see the funny side to all this
Unfortunately, another neighbour saw me, and all went amiss
This neighbour, gave me an even stranger look
At me, laughing gleefully, like an insane Rook
I made it worse, when i told her i was laughing with a Daisy
She began running, as she obviously thought me crazy
Meanwhile, the Daisy in hysterics, laughed off her petals with glee
I felt embarrassed, and knew the neighbours, would be avoiding me
All of a sudden, the Daisy, shot out of the ground
Up popped a mole, from beneath his mound
The mole spoke these very words
"That got the ******!" i thought how absurd
The mole promptly went back down his hole
The Daisy lay dead, without a soul
So i wandered off back, to my humble home, and clutter
Saddened at the Daisy's demise, now left lying in a gutter
And wondered how could it really be
that a flower, and a mole, had spoken to me