I was trapped lured into lie by a clever evil mastermind .
Lost in a strange land locked away in a basement guarded by some twisted hamster on steroids known as a kangaroo.

Sure I had been tricked by evil means by the mastermind known as Helen hey look she told me there was a huge **** down in the basement with tons of strippers and ******* who wouldn't fall for that? Duh everyone knows you never let strippers in the good part of your house .

So here I was living in the basement like some sad nerd who probably posts on a web site everyday thinking they are totally awesome cause they have five hundred followers when in reality they'd be lucky if they had even one human friend in real life.

What ?
I was talking  about one of those star wars nerd sites cause everyone knows I'd never bash a site like Hello that is ruled by a evil cult leader who moved to the states after collecting money under guise to help the site when in reality it was for his *** change .

Yeah Id never pick on someone like that .
Frankly I'm hurt you'd think that  I'm kidding and as long as I'm breathing I will always be your favorite ruthless ******* slash ****** with a heart of gold.

I sat there in my new cell wondering just what the hell I was to do all the while kangaroo jack kept his beady little eyes locked onto me .
Yeah I knew he was sitting there mentally ******* me with his eyes I felt so naked course id probably feel better if I actually put some clothes on.
Duh who wears clothes at a **** *******?
Had I known this was all a lure I would have kept my clothes on and kept my trusty **** whistle and not got into this mess to begin with.

I was ready to scream for help when all the sudden I herd a sound .
Muffled as it was still I herd it the kangaroo hopped as it approached me oh dear lord man I was far to fragile to be assaulted by this weird *** overgrown rat .

The sound was so strange it sounded like the men at work song land from down under but where the **** was it coming from!
The Kangaroo was getting far to close it leaned over into my face and being a true man I did what any other true man would do.

Began to cry and beg this ****** up gerbil not to **** me.
Answer the ******* phone mate.
It said to me as I was stunned .

Hey ******* answer the ******* phone .
It said again  incase your to high or didn't read it the first time .
You ******* talk and what ******* phone I asked trying to hold back the tears let me tell you these animals were known killers they were like Canadians on crack with incredibly strong legs yeah imagine what nickel back could do with powers like these those heartless ******* would be unstoppable .


I was lost naked and afraid minus the camera crew and some ***** chick who smelled really bad and ******* at me for not having great hunting skills why not call that show what millions of people wearing clothes call it .
Marriage yeah now there's some scary ****!

Look **** for brains snap out of hit .
The kangaroo said as it kicked me upside the head .
Answer the ******* phone so we can get on with this story you *******.

I swear those kangaroos really had a mouth on them who knew such cute looking standing rabbit could be such a *******.

Okay so where the hells the phone and never kick me again you got it!?
I have no clue where your furry foots been.
Up your grandmas *** mate and where else would I keep my phone in my ******* pouch .

Look You can insult me how ever you like Gerbil but I'm not putting my hand in that pouch besides that is the oldest trick in the book you know how many times I fell for that with grandpa ?

What?

This steroid fed mouse asked as it looked at me like all other people and some who read this might think.
What the **** is wrong with me?

Yeah that's a whole other write in itself .

Answer the ******* phone in my pouch now *******!
Umm no .
Why not ?
Cause I don't want to .
Look you ***** if  I had long enough arms I would do it but I cant okay
you know how ****** up it is to have arms this short now you know why the T Rex was the most ******* dinosaur of them all .

Yeah I had to admit my new friend slash captor had a point imagine being a total badass that cant ******* boy that's some ****** up **** but enough with the foreplay hamsters.

After some back and fourth  debate I against great protest reached in this hopping *******'s pouch and found a cell phone .

Hello ?
Well Gonzo how you like your new digs mate?
I knew that voice anywhere .

Helen !

My friend turned evil super villain explained to me her evil plan to keep me hostage and force me to co write for eternity in this basement guarded twenty four seven by Ursula her trained evil kangaroo henchwoman .

It was clear all hope was lost how could I ever escape the clutches of such twisted evil?
Then it occurred to me I would simply bust the window in the basement and get the **** out of here .

I had to act fast cause it's almost happy hour at the bar kids and this hamster is thirsty.
  
Hey Ursula I really got to use the bathroom .
Well go ahead mate the toilets in the corner .

Yeah but you know I really like my privacy you know I mean I tell you those burritos are really talking back if you know what I mean but hey if you can stand the smell be my guest I mean sure the oder alone will strip the paint off the walls but I'm sure after you pass out from the fumes you will be fine.

Fine you stupid ******* just make it quick Ursula said as she bounced her grouchy *** upstairs .

It was my only shot and thank God they had left a trusty boomerang around so I could bust the window to make my escape its almost like it was planned that way being I'm writing the story.
No **** Sherlock!

I was free as a bird if a bird had a really bad drinking problem and twisted sense of humor and was totally naked .
I looked to the front gates but there was no way I could escape that way barbwire and flesh didn't mix that well besides without there draw bridge down the crocodiles would eat me alive yeah these Aussies were total freaks .

So like some naked ninja I made my way around Helens Compound of evil making my way upstairs I slipped into a room in hopes of finding just where my clothes had been taken to.

Hey help me .
I herd a mans voice say as I flipped  on the light to find a horrific scene a strange man chained to the wall no wonder this evil woman was such a prolific writer .

Hey mate help me please get me out of here .
I knew this woman was evil but after some deep discussion I learned this poor man trapped in this upstairs *** dungeon was secretly her husband  I know how weird who has there *** dungeon upstairs ?

I don't know what I'm going to do I'm never getting out of here Gonz .
I unchained my knew friend after he told me he knew how to find a way out of here and after finding my clothes and grabbing my trusty case of bourbon we put on some music caught a killer buzz and totally forgot  why we were trying to escape the clutches of evil to begin with.

The party was great we laughed we cried we watched some really freaky homemade movies once only made me love my knew Aussie brother more Shawn was ******* awesome a bit of a freak but ******* awesome.

The party was going full swing when the doors few open and there she was my evil long lost sister Helen and her demented *** evil henchwoman  slash house pet kangaroo Ursula who although a animal had some great legs I have to admit .


The gigs up Gonz it's off to the basement with you forever !
I looked at my new best friend thought about how sad he was when I found him and thought of the great times we could have roaming the wasteland looking for gasoline like in mad max just being totally drunk instead.

Yeah then Helen yelled in her outside voice inside and bout made me **** myself so I said **** this and left my brother behind and hauled ***  

I made it to the kitchen but was trapped by Helen and her evil **** minion .

Give it up Gonz  Helen said .
At that moment I grabbed a knife .

Oh cut the crap Gonz stop being silly what are you going to do with that ?

She thought she had me but I had one last trick up my sleeve .

I opened the fridge and grabbed her trusty box of wine
You ******* don't you dare hurt my baby!

Yeah you want this back I said as walked forward and out of the kitchen towards the veranda .

You get back Helen or I swear the box of wine gets it.

Oh  yeah you stab that box then I will drop this fifth of your bourbon over the rail Helen said with that devilish look in her eyes.

You heartless ***** !
She dropped the bottle I swear it cried daddy as it fell to the ground shattering to a million pieces on the concreate beside the pool wow I had to admit she really had a nice place.

I mean sure she was twisted evil heartless had a awesome husband she kept in a upstairs *** dungeon but enough about Helens  good quality's  .

I looked as my pour bottle lay shattered upon the floor  .
I laughed you know that wasn't my only bottle .

I know that mate then reached to Ursula grabbing yet another bottle from her pouch dam you Australia why must you have so many ****** up animals in one place its like a zoo on crack.

Helen went to drop yet another bottle over the rail when I cracked.
Okay enough!
I will put your box of wine down just don't hurt the bottle okay .

Deal mate Helen replied .

We both slowly put are true passions in life down .
I'm glad you could see things my way Gonz now time for you to get writing .

Yeah Helen I don't think so I said pulling the trusty boomerang from a location I rather not disclose hey I been to prison before you be surprised the stuff people smuggle in.
Dam that hurt.!


I threw the boomerang with all my might this was my one truly  last chance at getting out of here.
But like some Aussie ninja Helen just ducked the thing  as  it flew past her head went flying around the house and turned direction coming straight towards me hitting me in the skull.

As I fell to my death music played as I took that long dramatic one story fall .
I hit the pavement like Lindsey Lohans career.

I laid there broken my new best friend speaking to me no gonz don't leave me we could have are own spinoff if only you didn't die .
Shawn my brother I will never forget you but I have just one last thing to say to you are you listening .

Yes mate I am.

And at that moment of dire sadness I ripped the biggest **** .
Shawn busted up laughing as above Helen looked at Ursula
Men are so ******* disgusting .

And later as they all sat looking down upon me from the veranda Helen furious at her man slaves betrayal told her partner in crime slash killer kangaroo .

Ursula go fetch the battery out of the car and the ****** clamps someone is going to be punished .
Shawn's face lit up with joy yay he exclaimed .
Helen shoot him a look .

I mean oh no such horror please don't torture me mistress   .
But hey don't judge them there not freaks there Australian.

Ursula shook her head as she made her way to fetch the car battery .
Jesus Christ why couldn't I have been Mel Gibson's pet.

Helen looked down one last time at her dead brothers body .
But to her surprise he was   gone .
The dramatic Halloween music played as Shawn looked to his evil temptress slash wife .

Mistress was that the boogeyman?

She slapped the **** outta him **** no its just that lovable perverted misspelling ***** across the water everyone calls Gonzo.

She shook her head and laughed to herself .
We will meet again my friend .


Until next time kids or Helen finds and actually kills
me stay crazy.

Gonz

these troubled thoughts
this collection of disquiets
like dry bones gathering dust
their lifeless forms encrusted with
the fine thin black ink
her diary of desperate longings
written on each bone like magic runes
like roadmaps to dark kingdoms

she keeps the bones
in a wooden box behind the concreate wall
with burning incense
to mask the smell of fear
unfounded in these the enlightened years
but illustrated neatly in comic book fashion
by her masked superhero natural appearances
just that little somthing dangerouse in the
steel glint of her grey eyes

these troubled thoughts
are loud in my mind
broadcast to all who are not too blind to see
like the garish sound of transistor radio
just off a station of cheap music
these dark feelings run like knives down my spine
the seep into my own bones
which are also handwritten chapters
of her diary of self deceptions and denials

i manufacture a vehicle of escapism
in the words i tap out on my kindle
but it rings hollow in the face
of her beautiful decay
of her own disquiet tears
unable to shake free of these dark feelings
i throw the dry bones in the sea
and listen as she demands that i drown the
remainder of my unkind words with them
we finally stand hand in hand
at the edge of the world
watching the dry bones sail
into the crisp dawn
like a sailboat making for spain

Concrete Foundations, Built for us,
Founded and Created Cons, Buried, now crushed,
under the same concrete, created, to maintain a fond nation.
For us? We trust, in none of them, they disgust,
they all just smile with their mouths sewn shut,
hiding behind stitched mouths, teeth knocked out,
pulling their ***** back out, to fu..
fundamentally set standards, they deemed a must
drinking rust, water spouts the wells been poisoned somehow.
Armies of men stationed, wives and kids despise, his,
atomic attacks, all bones with no back, who's side white brown or black?
Air Raid sirens to sound as smoke arises,
blow, it out, of
The Trumpet's brass?
Much like anything that comes out of his ***, he needs put in a cast,
not meaning the role he's playing, after all he is about his ratings.
Look at all the sitcoms out of yal he has created. ha
I don't discriminate, however brass, leaves a bad after taste,
like, not really my instrumental choice,
unless its ****** knuckles, I'm more of a percussionist
beat them all with the drum
sticks, *****, chicks, wake the **** up, dumb little b..
bench/, warmers...where they sat us, playing on an Iphone,
not paying attention, so much distraction, you twit nits,
twittering, snap, chatting,
*** and **** pics, what's wrong with that pic,
living in a photoshopped world, come watch the games now,
that the score board is 'fixed'
same players no touchdowns, losing, yet forced to
cheer and chant their names, they win, don't you dare frown,
becoming restless, keeping us mentally sick and poor,
kids blocked by a wall with a white guarded door,
floor is slick, spilled some orange paint all over it,
flick the ashes, like your nasty cigarette habits
Does your hope float? because mine don't, nope,
but were all stuck in a bubble, can't float when your caught under the rubble,
smells like they better call Hillary, something is fishy,
oh wait that's her and Trump's chemistry mixing.
I'm probably gonna get some backlash for this,
especially because the fact of it is,
this house is divided into unequal shares,
yal walk around as if nobody lives there,
It's like leaving the lights on but nobody is home,
tear down the wall crush them with the same heavy stones.

have you ever felt like lifes just, hazy ?
made up of games and tricks.
have you ever felt like loves just, concreate ?
impossible to break through.

enough of your mess.
enough of your lies.
enough of your ****.
i've had enough.
enough of you.

i threw away my heart.
tore down my walls.
gave myself completely.
just to be with you.

its never enough.
im not enough.

Step step step step,

Arms pumping, legs burning,

Slap slap slap slap,

Barefoot soles meet pavement, concreate, dirt, grass,

Ground,

In out,in out,

I’m flying, free,

Go go go go

Says my heart to me.

Was it dark in there in the trench from wich you came

Was it hard to step outside and feel the rain

Did the empty shells trip you as you stumble to your feet

Thousands of bodies innocent bodies
Fill the street

Like a **** growing threw the concreate, you stand tall

For a nation that rises just to fall

The lies ......

The lies flood the street like the aftermath of a natural disaster

Im not a christian

I haveo master

You call this the land of the free

Where is the freedom

Where is the dream

Where are the answers

Open your eyes

Your enemies claim to be on your team

Footsteps:

I hear my own footsteps in the snow as I walk forever alone toward nowhere. In search of anyone, my footsteps speak to me and remind me that I am truly alone.  I yearn to see a fox run by.  I yearn for the singing of birds.  Even a wasp sting to possibly wake me up from this nightmare.  I have forgotten music. The tones even evade my dreams.  I do the same in my dreams. Walk and walk forever.  Only the sound of footsteps while I'm awake and asleep.

Toward the school:  

I come upon an old school. The empty playgrounds convey a sadness of missing the children that once played on it. I come to a realization that the playground is not sad. Its only what I sense and feel.  Had I never found this playground I would have never felt such sadness.  And this playground perhaps would have simply never existed.  But I found it and now the sadness has created its own atmosphere. I sit on the swing and feel a spark of joy that seems to come from the playground itself.  The spark never ignites a flame as the short-found joy is drowned in sorrow by my emotions that created the joy for the playground itself.  I stop swinging and center myself in this endless loneliness.  I enter the school through double doors as one is left open.  Again, I have a sense that the building itself is inviting me in.  Another emotion given to a lifeless structure of bricks and concreate.  

The halls at night:

I wonder through the halls of this emotionless school and aimlessly walk toward a destination the hallways would simply take me.  I get a feeling the hallways are guiding me toward a salvation of sort. As if the inner workings of the school itself are alive and I am trying to find a heart to beat.  Maybe I am the heart, and I am trying to get the flow back.  But perhaps I'm just lost in thought again and I am making this up as I go.  The moon starts to breathe in its light into the hallways through the windows as it uncovers itself from the blanket of clouds.  The luminescent breath of the moon creates a beautiful eeriness that only ghost could paint.  I venture forth and up the stairs through a darkness that is afraid of the moonlight. I stand in the darkness for a moment to try and comfort it.  But why?  This darkness nest in a corner just out of reach of the moonlit rapture that has taken all the other darkness it shines upon.  Knowing this darkness was safe I traverse the dark stairway into another hallway above.  

The colors of the cloud:

The final hallway the stairway of darkness lifted me to seemed longer than the others. The moon light kissed the dust specks in the air turning them into moving floating stars in an expanse of tranquilly that called forth the memory of music.  I began to breathe heavily as the tones from silence rang my ears with notes and chords brought on by visual stimulation that I thought was impossible. How could a visual create sound?  As the dust in the moonlight danced the dance of shadow and light, I heard a constant tone and vibration of ambient heaven like belief.  As I walked through the floating vault of heaven I came to a L in the hallway. This hallway was untouched by the moon spells and floating stardust. In this hallway every window emitted a different color all its own.  As if lightning of every color flashed its arc cutting through the sky and bleeding into the windows.  I walked through the hallway and could not seem to find a source of the aura of colors this hallway had become.  At the end of the hallway was a grand window that seem to have all the colors cycling through all at once.  As I reached this window, I saw a cloud in the sky made up of all colors I have ever seen. It had a chaotic oscillation of lightning bolts that lit up the sky without the mercy toward any type of darkness whatsoever. The beauty of this cloud reinvigorated my soul.  I was breathing in the light.  With every breath thunder roared across eternity.  All colors started to return.  And I could hear the music. In all directions I went.  Over the land and over the oceans.  Through deserts and mountains.  Life has awakened once again.  I am the sky, and I am the land. I feel the life upon me as the life believes in me.

Beware for liars roam are lands thiefs and cowards mixed within conversations shadow the concreate jungles of endless hunger searching for the weak of minds willing to conform to suggestion for one must question before action is taken think in quiet form then apply the threads of strength to sew a new approach to victory

Late into the night,
a fire rages on,
devouring everything it sets its sight on.
memories, splinters, concreate and rubble.
still, it wants more,
nibbling on silence, the dark of the night
itself.
its tongue stretches and laps,
its stomach nowhere near full.
it twists and turns, ignoring
the tug of its shadow.
it wants what it wants,
regardless of how it tastes.
its fingers constantly reaching out,
leaving a scorched trail everywhere it’s been.

here I sit, watching the fire
grow in size and height,
hoping that by some twist of fate,
it finds what it truly hungers for.
until then, nothing or no one will be able
to put it out.
I too have tired myself out,
opening the refrigerator,
like you will magically appear.