What do i do
Can you please be concerned
Try to understand
My world ends almost every week
And you just stand there
I can’t do this without you
I deserve to sleep at night
But when your gone,
I wonder if your ok
School is getting so hard
If you don’t come back
I’ll be dysfunctional
I won’t come back
I’ll stay in my mind
Nonexisting

Secret spells of the gutter weeds
The crash of echoes in the cavern of your ratifications
Shapeless memories plucked from the rotting lace
Melting the crash of your hollow ways
Your reflection is full of blameless confessions
Sundering your vision with deathless years
The sharpness of your syringe of hate
****** flaws that dictate you
Wincing for a delicate escape
Pursuing the creek of graceless yearning
Immersed and nonexisting into the marrow of your passage
As the mourners disaffirm the farewell fortitude of your youth

I have daddy problem
I wake up fatherless like
Every other African American
Child out there.
Most kids
know where there father is.
They either in jail, remarried or in the cementary.
For me,
I have no idea
Where my old man is.
To be honest,
I really don't give a ****
Either.
Most kids hate there father,
They don't give 2 ***** about
Him.
I don't hate my father.
He was never there.
So it feels like I never really
Knew him.
How can you expect me to
Barely have feelings for a man that was barely there
To begin with,
And how can I hate a man
That didn't do nothing
But leave me and my mother
To struggle.
He abandon us,
It's his lost.
I got use to him not being
Here that he became nonexisting.
When I see pictures,
I can't really identify him.
All I see is some stranger that's in all my baby pics.
To get myself through the day
I tell myself he was only a
Temporary sitter.
His service was temporary,
His stay was only temporary,
After his deadline it was time for him to skedaddle.
A couple visitation until I was
8 then he became gone with the wind and never came around again.
I have daddy problems?
Nah, I'm fine.
My mom play both roles and I'm ok with that.
Yes times get hard
But there's nothing I can do
About it.
Just live each day as I can.
Forget a father figure.
I'm doing just fine with out him.

Hello father Poetry
These kids are always insisting
Their words are incendiary
"His father is nonexisting."

Mother speaks your name
She sings your praise
Tells me you're the god of flame
Which has left my heart agaze.

So I come to ask, father
For some proof of our bloodline
I don't want to bother
I just need something, a sign.

"Hello little one, 'tis true
I will grant you validation
One that I can't undo
Let this be proof of our relation."

"O' father how giddy my viens
A cure to this disparage
Can I take the reins?
Let me steer the carriage."

"Not even Zeus can control
This golden chariot drawn by steeds.
Only the dark horizon I can patrol
But one promise that I can't break was agreed.

Take care now and heed this warning.
Take a firm grip and don't let the reins slip
You are the bringer of morning
Sailing the horizon like a cosmic ship."

"Thank you father, this is all I will ask.
This will cauterize those words so forlorn
And bring sunshine for all to bask
Now watch me with this gold I adorn."

So off I went with sunshine in tow
O' how this sunshine was a'glow
Look at the burning horizon how the fire river did flow
The horses bucked, a grip loosed a fate my father did know.

Nothing I could do but dive down
Setting fire to Africa's lush vegetation
Scorching the lands turning green to brown
A lightning bolt struck, for I caused this ruination.

Now I sleep among the wine dark sea
Epitaph that reads:
"Here Phaethon lies who in the sun-god's chariot fared.
And though greatly he failed, more greatly he dared."

You exist in the loose space between my eyelids
Appearing in dreams more often than sometimes
A transient bond no longer present
The distance between oceans seemed to fold over themselves
At least, until you were gone
Now the space from me to you feels like a universe
Almost as if you are  nonexisting
Nothing more than a figment of imagination
A transparent being within a fever dream
But the world goes on, doesn’t it?
Your voice is merely particles of waves
A silence symphony
An elegy like something has died

A message to the people who pretends,
The guy on the bus, and the lady next to me,
Last time I talked about depression,
Do you really know?

How it feels that something nonexisting
Eats you up and fills you with guilt?
How every waking moment is a painful reminder,
Of what have come and gone

Of every rejection and disdain,
Of every scorn and contempt,
Of every single word cutting like knives
The blood inside rolling down bare skin,

Do you really know?
The terrible tragedies my eyes have seen,
The constant rings of dead sounds in my ears,
And the memories replaying over and over,

And over and over and over
Like an endless sea of perpetual agony
Like the putrid breath unable to come off
It sticks like a velcro on glue.

Nowhere near have you seen
Nowhere near have you heard
Nowhere near have you experienced
The metallic taste of depression and the fear...

Of every friend and family dying
Of every rejection and frustration
Of everything in this whole ugly
Twisted and convoluted world

Do you really know?