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Carina Mar 2018
Losing myself! I don't know if I'll have anything left
Anything left to give to those whom need it most
I can't grasp life
Should I end it all
I can't walk
I can't stand
I can barely crawl
Crawl back back to my happy place
Wondering if I can muster up any space
A space where in can I can hide
Hide all the pain that's dwelling dwelling inside of me
This can't be what God has destined for me
Destined to live and be others peace
Pieces of me are tumbling down. I used to be able to turn everyone's frowns upside down
Buy yet mines in stuck in a continuous state
State of nonexisting promisies
Promises are meant to be broken, torn away and dumped like last weeks dinner. Rotting away at your soul...til you no longer have control
Control over my mind
Am I coming or going?
Will you meet me at the end?
To say giving my all is and forever will be my deadliest sin
Carina Jan 2018
...
The night is young
Where should we go
To wonder off to no mans land,

You play a great game
Having me fall in love over again
We sink into love quicksand,

You told me you'd never hurt me
Now I have nothing to show for my time and effort,
  
To see me down brings you comfort
Comfort to know I'll never depart
For you
hold the key to my heart

No family no peers for this I have reached my Whits end
To think we were once friends
Carina Jan 2018
Looking at the wall,
Not knowing if I'll fall or crawl,
Crawl towards my dreams in hopes to regain my strength to pull myself back up to my feet.

Looking at the wall I consider myself lucky to be able to see such a thing,
The things I see are not the wall but for me my life flashing before my eyes.

Have I falling to my own demise?

As I try to continue to crawl towards the wall so I can pull myself up I see those who want to keep me down,

I cry yet I continue to crawl as the wall  and the floor simultaneously drift further from my grasps.

No one around to ask,
Ask for assistance in trying to help me to my feet,
As I continue to crawl a single tear falls from my eyes, it was not my demise, it was my test, the people I see are not there to hinder me, yet they're here to forgive me and help me see what they see, me struggling to simple be, when in all actuality I have been and will continue to aim for that wall.
  Jan 2018 Carina
Lior Gavra
Am I just a wheel?
Consuming meals?
A speck in blue sea?
Bound by what I see?
Life amongst trees?
Breathing means free?

Am I my beliefs?
The truth I seek?
Flag of a country?
Defined by currency?
A liability?
Part of society?

Am I what you see?
The way you judge me?
The values you pick?
First impressions stick?
Norm defined by you?
Do I dare to be rude?

No...

I am who I choose.
I fill my own shoes.
I win when I lose.
I create my own views.
I see black beyond blue.
I pick me over you.

Who are we?
I am me.
Who are we?
Depends on you.
Carina Jan 2018
I am yet fascinated by the way you smile,
I am fascinated with the tone and masculinity in your voice,
I am fascinated with how you're man enough to let me take control of the steering wheel for a while, while we get life under control,
I am yet fascinated with how generous you are to others even those who've turned their backs to you,

I am infatuated with your entire bean, you are my hero in many ways even if you can't see it, you've been fighting a battle of pain and agony yet you can still manage to smile and laugh, and when you do it sounds like two angels are singing to my inner spirit. You are my strength.

I Carina Britney am and forever will be fascinated, infatuated, sincerely and deeply in love with you Joseph Britney
Carina May 2016
It's a girl,
As beautiful as black sparkling pearl,
No one can take you away from me,
It's destiny can't you see,
To have a baby girl to live the life that was meant to be,
Be here be free,
Chase your dreams let's be happy..
#5months #pregnant #girl
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